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#196
13-07-2009, 01:49 PM
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Mistress or?
TS, nice thread you got going here.
 I'm not in same league as you or other guys. Will try to share my experience.. no gems of wisdom but more of anecdotal dimension. Similiar to my other languishing thread here (lazy2, also not into graphical accounts like some bros who are write like screenplays)  http://sammyboyforum.org.nz/adult-d...kiss-tell.html My tg side dish (non-WL) is now running into 6th year. Comes from a lower middle class family, with her stepfather as a retired senior ranking policeman. 6 years seems like a lifetime (as TS concurs), even for this late starter in his twlight years hehehe  Cannot deny that T brought sex part to new heights (over my own boring domestic version) at the start. Maybe not senasational to you vets here, but I only first got to experience bathtub fj (reverse cowgal ride) and a bbj thrown in for good measure. Was I smiling like a cheshire cat after! Strong headed gal (fallacy that tgs are softies), and we had our fair share of fights. Boils down to different expectations, cultural differences. I stopped the music 2X (over last 3 years).. quoting Don Mclean's american pie piece " the day music died". Last time I threatened to pull the plug (not big fortune some of you guys better afford than me), and profuse apologies with promise to change for better. This had nothing to do with her messing about at my back... but rather I felt that I deserved better both tangible and intangible. By the latter, I mean emotional warmth in a already difficult to manage LDTR (long distance tirak r/s). Her's more of her personality, and she's even the "boss" of her family with other 2 elder sisters calling the shots on home matters. Not sure if mine fits this thread, but with such a tenure, there are emotions attached in our r/s. I do not profess to give any insights here, but we all do learn from lessons in life. Pause for a cause.. I come to terms with 2 things. LDTR can play havoc on your insecurities, so it may help to realise you cannot control what she does in your absence. And I can relate to what TS seem to say here (maybe diff ways): You deserve to be made happy, not just make her happy. I was wet behind my ears in the beginning, and feel foolish looking back (before both piece of self advice dawned on me later). Future? Wish I had a crystal ball. And facts is that we know that women do amortise (sorry for better choice of words). 
__________________
You only live ONCE, pass this way but ONCE.. 
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#197
13-07-2009, 01:52 PM
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Re: Mistress
Justime,
I really appreciate you sharing your experience with all of us and it has benefited me a lot both in and out of my marriage. BTW, here is the link on Wikipedia about Celery:- Celery - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Celery contains the natural steroid:- Androstenone - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia For Vitamin A, I copied this from Vitamin A ?(HEALTH & FITNESS PRACTICALITIES)? which pointed me to Basic Nutrition: Vitamin A Saga I think having an healthy and fit body helps when you are negotiating, based on some of experience in China. For fast-twitched training, it helps promotes growth hormones (keeps you young) production. The easiest and most time efficient way is to sprint (I try to do it once or twice a week randomly) near my country club. The other way is martial arts but I am too old for it. I heard qigong helps too and it can help to make your rod as hard as steel. A jewellery trader in his 60s I know was practising it and soon after, was caught by the wife for having Spanish mistress. In any case, I like short powerful training since I do not have time.
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#198
13-07-2009, 02:06 PM
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Re: Mistress
Sharing of a Mistress.
Well if with friends no If only friends via online then sure. Just going by the golden rule from where i grew up, I would never be allowed to date any of my friends ex GF's unless the friend was dead or he had moved away. Guessing I would put mistress in same catagory. But also depends on time spent with them. Our rule was 4 months. If with them less than 4 months was fair game, longer than 4 months then hands off. Just my humble thought.
__________________
I regret nothing I have ever done, but sometimes I regret the things I did not do but should have. 
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#199
13-07-2009, 02:21 PM
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Re: Mistress
YinYang,
Anyways, I have learnt from years of failure that you could choose to have emotions in romance or not. It is better to have some street-wise and informed compassion to your targets than emotions, regardless whether they are WLs or not. I am keeping fit in order not to descend down the dreaded path of chronic degeneration, so as to continue to enjoy carnal pleasures as long as I can. For health and fitness, I know someone in the US who is above 70 and is still having sex everyday. His body natural testosterone is so high that dogs howl in the neighbourhood when he walked past. Justime, Golf is good. It helps us get some sun(Vitamin D3), which makes us horny and glow in front of the ladies. It also helps one to find an excuse to go out for hours.  Here is more info. H/w, I stay away from Human Growth Hormones, which could cause cancer. Foods to Increase Libido and Testosterone I also stay away from soya beans and milk because years ago when my son was born, I learnt that milk has estrogen and so its not so good for men who wants their libido.
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#200
13-07-2009, 10:21 PM
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Re: Mistress
Quote:
Like I get tiresome with quite a few from my lil black book. But I have yet to find anyone close to my side dish (begs question how hard did I look, or wrong places! )Quote:
__________________
You only live ONCE, pass this way but ONCE..
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#201
14-07-2009, 01:36 AM
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Re: Mistress
Quote:
Other forms of qigong dun seem to have the same effect.
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#202
14-07-2009, 12:13 PM
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Re: Mistress
Thx to bro justime n other bros for the most useful info posted here.
I just sent a sms to JJ stating that I'll not be able to continue my patronage bcos my inguinal hernia has flared up. I hope to remain a good fren n offer to take her to dinner n KTVs. Of course I'll compensate her for her time. Good day!!
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#203
14-07-2009, 01:22 PM
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Re: Mistress
Quote:
btw how is jj taking it? got in mind anyone to replacement for jj? I wish i can be but got no $$$ leh 
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#204
14-07-2009, 07:53 PM
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Re: Mistress
Quote:
JJ has taken it well n will return to China this weekend. She will not stay bcos she dislikes running KTV. I'll meet her tmr for lunch. Cheers!
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#205
15-07-2009, 03:24 AM
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Re: Mistress
I would like to extend my sincere thanks to everyone for keeping this thread running in my short absence. The views, discussion, stories, anecdotes and conversational exchanges very interesting and it give me great pleasure reading it. Thank you all – appreciate if you could keep this going.
Quote:
Quote:
Whatever the nature of the relationship (girlfriend, mistress, flings etc), if strong emotional attachment develops, we must be prepared to surmount the geographical challenges or compromise the relationship. I wrote earlier that despite the fact that all of us has mistress overseas (except Terrence), we still need to cultivate one at your own domicile – in this case Singapore. There will be times where you have physical and emotional cravings where only proximity (being physically close) can address adequately. The axiomatic expression “absence makes the heart grow fonder” does not bear out in the context of my experience. People largely get on with their lives. Just like time healing all emotional hurt, absence too in time, will diminish the intensity of the intimacy. In addition to geographical barriers, there are also the socio cultural dimension to contend with when courting foreign girls (I will show this when I talk about my past relationship with Pat). As for the “feeling of insecurity” aspect, it should be obvious that it is disempowering. The feeling of insecurity is actually a manifestation of some personal feeling of inadequacy at some level. And this feeling of inadequacy often stems from the lack of confidence (more commonly known as poor self esteem). To illustrate the point, I shall jump the gun a little and talk about Masterstroke 3: Be a confident Bastard. The lack of confidence usually manifests itself in “action inertia”. This means that you are not actively on the lookout to create choice in your life. So whatever and whoever that comes along (by chance I might add) and can satisfy your emotional needs you tend to hold on tightly. I hope you recognize that this is the “reverse crutch mentality” - and this time YOU are the “victim”. In short: You need the lady to fulfill some emotional lack. You do NOT have viable options. You do NOT know how to break this vicious cycle so you accept and settle (to your own personal detriment). And the crutch can be so strong that you accept poor behaviour, sacrifice your finance, and give justifications (excuses) on why you must continue the relationship despite it not making you happy. (And not to worry Masterstroke 3 will show you exactly how to break this vicious circle!)
__________________
"Had we but world enough, and time, This coyness, Lady, were no crime. We would sit down and think which way To walk and pass our long love’s day."
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#206
15-07-2009, 03:26 AM
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Re: Mistress
Quote:
Quote:
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You know that you will not be getting your money’s worth with JJ (since you are temporarily sexually incapacitated) so you decide to terminate the relationship. You did not let vague notions of the agreement compel you to follow through on it (despite knowing that this uneven exchange). Many men would actually simply settle and pay the retainer till they recover. They are afraid of being seen as a ‘bastard” and hence acquiesced to the unfair and uneven exchange.* (Yes, it is an exchange. You give your mistress money, she in turn provides you the service of satisfying your carnal desires as well provide gfe (via Love wayangs)). Quote:
__________________
"Had we but world enough, and time, This coyness, Lady, were no crime. We would sit down and think which way To walk and pass our long love’s day."
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#207
15-07-2009, 09:35 AM
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Re: Mistress
Hi Justime
Compared to you, I am a rookie at this. However, I do get to go to China a few times a year and occasionally to Macau. I do not consider myself good-looking but average. H/w, I maintained my skin (sun-kissed glowing skin) and body very well because of my diet and exercise, and still having hair on my head helps. I look a whole lot younger than my age. (PM me if you are interested in my research into 'caveman' diet and exercise. I subscribed to the theory that our genetic make-up is still cavemen of the last few hundred thousand years). Looking pleasant also makes them feel comfortable that at least they are not going to be with some ugly old man and since they are new to it (unlike those in Singapore who are very experienced), some have also broken up with their bfs and a pleasant-looking man who is gentlemanly (but not a Robert) always helps. Not too long ago, someone I had in a KTV in Beijing, was in Singapore working at TAM and we have a great time together for old time sake and did not want to take my money. I gave it to her anyways. I typically will ask Mummy to pick those ladies who had just started work (less than 1 month old). And to your point, they have just started out and feeling the dread of the drinking and bullying from some discerning (particularly Chinese and Taiwanese from what they share) clients. However, they are in it long enough to experience and get trapped in the financial attraction of this job but still rather green about the trade. I will typically make them very comfortable by trying to be a big brother and will not make them drink at all the whole evening. After our sessions in the hotel, I will always buy them a good breakfast and share with them how they made me feel, and how I would miss them. I will typically also call them to ensure that they are safely back. A few hours later, I will call them again and offer to pay them what they would be paid for the night fo them to stay with me the whole week or month (I typically also check to find out when they are having their period to make sure I maximizes my time). Almost 100% of the time, they would agree and in some cases, they would even offer to take less. I would always make it up to them at the end of it by buying them a HP of my choosing. I am still in contact with many of them and some are on a retainer each time I go there because they know I am a reasonable person. Some are kept by very important people, who hardly have time for them and would be happy to 'hang out' with me when I visit the cities they are in, with no charge. I have not tried nutella but whipped cream and strawberries are interesting too. One even invited me to her wedding a few years ago, which I politely declined but gave her an angbao.
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#208
15-07-2009, 09:53 AM
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Re: Mistress
Quote:
Yes, it wont be a fair exchange. Our parting is amicable... I should be OK in 7 to 10 days, hopefully. BTW, I'm negotiating w/ a couple of gers (one KTV ger n one hairstylist) to be my mistress, beginning next month. They both want a long-term RS (at least a yr) n both ask me to pay off their family debts upfront (both from Fujian but dun know each other!). How do u handle such a request? How does this fit into the payment calculus? Thx n hv a great day!!
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#209
15-07-2009, 03:27 PM
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Re: Mistress
Quote:
Once their burden (or crutch on you) is alleviated, they have a taken for granted attitude. They don't "need" you now - and ironically despite your help, you are now seen as an inconvenience. I yet to see a PRC display an attitude to gratitude to her benefactor that last for one year! Know the feeling you sometimes get when you solve an apparantly insurmountable problem and the subsequent arrogance that comes in tandem. They think that just getting you to settle their debt (by their promise) is all to it - and to their personal credit. They think that they once have "sold" you their mistressing service, they often forget their obligation to deliver it on their sales promise. Many in fact packed up and go, without even a second look at the promised commitment. I would handle such request by saying that I am cash flow tight presently. You say (something alone this lines): "I have regular money coming in throuhout the months - some months quite a lot while others less. Once I promise to help you re-structure your family debt, I will plan to see it through by setting aside money for regularly for you. At at times when I got more income coming, I will give you very big bonus so that you can be free of your debt quicker. And I expect to have a windfall soon!" Note: 1) It should be obvious that you never sign anything or even promise your financial commitment to any other third party (don't want O$P$ and pigs money at your doorstep!)  .Make it clear that the deal is with her and her only! Give a token two or three months advance max for her to show good faith - if her financial dilema is really pressing. Know however that a lot of exageration is in order on her part, the PRC mei want to collect as much upfront as possible. (Your "winning position" is diametrically opposite hers: The less the advance payment the better for you.) 2) I would also ask her to be exceeding candid about her financial dilema so that I can plan how to help her free her debt as quickly as possible. I will tell her that once I take charge of alleviating her debt, I will see through my commitment (as long as she sees through hers). 3) Be mindful that she does not try this trick on multiple other would be "patrons" (or should I say "boyfriends"/Uninformed Roberts). They tend to do that. Getting sevaral small trenches of money from different men adds up. Be very upfront and specific about that if she wants your help, this cannot happen. 4) There is truism in that for hospitalisation in China, many a time a local must pay upfront in order to receive treatment. People there do suffer due to poor medical coverage. The PRC mei think that this situation is applicabe to all nations and countries too (remember that PRC mei in general is very parochial in their outlook). Hence "hospitalisation" is their number one favourite reasons they use when getting money. Hospitalisation has the emotional blackmail element - made more realistic in their mind due to their personal context from living in China. And its also more disarming so that people is more receptive toward lending - the PRC is seen as "filial" and dutiful (and not greedy and self serving in seeking for the loan). Hospitalisation is the PRC mei's number one tactic in getting a prospect to agree to part with his money. So make sure that the hospitalisation reason is not a ruse or pretext. I generally see alarm bells when Hospitalisation is proffered as a reason! Hope this helps warbird! ... and by the way, in case you miss anyone misses my earlier posting, Paeng (my current Thai mistress) too was a hair dresser - now present business owner of hair salon! Me and warbird got some kind of yuan fen!
__________________
"Had we but world enough, and time, This coyness, Lady, were no crime. We would sit down and think which way To walk and pass our long love’s day."
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#210
15-07-2009, 05:03 PM
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Re: Mistress
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Thx u so much for ur reply n insight. I hv decided not pay any ger anything upfront. I'll tell her that I'll pay her X amount of dollars say twice a month n she can either save the money, or use it to buy stuff or pay off her family debt...if our 感情 is very good n she pleases me, I may choose to give her a generous bonus from time to time. Yes, perhaps you n I hv some sort of predestined connection/affinity, hahaha. Cheers!
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