Mistress

[theUnforgotten]

Originally Posted by yinyang

Common place fibs (or "strawberries") with thai crowd, not restricted to:
> sick buffalo (or died!)
> accident (road or home)
> hospital (miraculous recovery after!)
> behind in rent

Good question, no straight answer. If trust is living in fools paradise, there are 1 or 2 things blokes are known to do (caveat: never tried):

> There's some software to spy on her mobile (calls, sms routed alerted to you).
> Private dick
> Pal in cahoots with you, going for the jugular

TS, liked your competition bit. Par for the course

Never add in

1. Phone no money
2. Need money for school

555 - heard most of them before

[LeSaux]

How about need money for new ride? Brand new subaru wrx sti...

[justime]

Originally Posted by Koreanlover

I am back and seeking advice. This new KTV girl I have been seeing does not chu jie. She does not have a BF yet as she is new. I am interested to BY her but since she does not chu jie, I am wondering if I should offer her to be BY by me. Should I do the acid test by asking if for one-off screw or just go straight to the terms of BY? Need some advice

Hi Koreanlover, its is so much easier to couch your offer in terms of BY rather than chu jie. Ladies seem to be more amendable toward Client’s Patronage vis-à-vis solicitation to chu jie. Some ladies who absolutely say no to chu jie will gladly take on a patron.

Remember by earlier, masterstroke tit-bit? Do use euphemisms when making the offer: Such as “Can I take care of you?”

Also you can learn from Bro Warbird’s situation: Do go through some of the discussions we have here in the thread - it is theory as applied in the context of his real life. You may like to use some of the learning points there to frame your personal situation.

Just two quick reminders (in case you do not have the time to go through the thread again):

1) Don’t offer everything upfront. If she actually fails to deliver on the service as per your expectation, you can cut loss quickly – thereby minimizing the damage to your wallet.

2) Make sure that it is not a girl friend based relationship but a patron-mistress. If it is the former, this is simply a very expensive “chu jie” session!

All in all, do go through the thread again to remind you of key principles that you must apply. Good luck and have fun!

Originally Posted by Gentle Beast

Hi justime

Thanks for all the insightful tips to put the odds back in the guys favour in this game. I enjoyed your occasional musings and anecdotes amid the paragraphs of advice and tips, good stuff!

Pardon me for momentarily taking the tone of this thread on mistresses away. I'll be making a trip to my ancestral homeland in Fujian, to spend a few days with my parent's siblings and their offsprings. I;m prepared to meet them with an open mind, but nagging me is if they asked me for my address, contact in Singapore, can you advise how I can deal with this? I'm concerned if anyone of them will use that benefit of 'dropping by' or worse use excuses to come over to work etc..

I hope with your experience, you can offer me something I can use, thanks!

Thank you Gentle Beast for the compliment and the rep points. Appreciate it.

In your case, the sense of apprehension and disquiet about your relations imposing upon you (and your lifestyle) is not without basis. They will likely call on this familial connection at some point if they want to venture overseas. This can take the form as simple and transient as a holiday / vacation or to something that has a more permanent ring to it such as asking you to guarantor to find work and/or get a long stay visa. So might as well take it as a given that they will do so.

(Mike & Hua have very deep familial connections in China and I can see from their experience that their relatives are not averse to using the familial connection to impose on them. It is survival after all. The Chinese in general do not feel “pai say” and have any hang-ups to utilize what they got. Also know that a lot of them are quite parochial (they hardly travel outside of the mainland and when they do its mostly on conducted tours). Thus an average mainlander has hardly any connections and network beyond their municipality. This means that understandably they gravitate will to you – a little “guan xi” is better than none at all!)

Again, I do not have any context of your personal life except what is given here above. But the thing to do is that you have to be pragmatic over the whole issue. In the case of Mike & Hua, they have businesses in China and there might be the possibility of them needed their China familial connections at some point. So Mike and Hua do indulge them.

It is difficult to refuse them your address and contact details. (I presume that you still want to maintain cordial ties). This being said, do however draw the line at inviting them to stay at their house at all. Once you allowed them in, it is difficult to chase them out without “shang gan qing”. So prepare an excuse in advance on why they cannot stay with you. If you have many spare rooms at home like Mike and Hua, give the excuse that your house also doubles up as an office – and that you will have partners and employees coming over frequently.

Another common way by which your ‘extended’ family will use the connection with you is to ask you to be a guarantor –for work/ social visit visas etc, and they may even solicit your help to look for a job for them. Generally for the guarantor bit to extend their stay, you cannot do much but to oblige. It should be obvious that if you feel bad vibes, do not even offer this.

So in the event that you provide the guarantor for social visa, do remember to take charge in ensuring that they do not overstay. Mike, Hua and even myself always remind our relatives of the imminent visa due date. To make the situation more diplomatic, we occasionally like to give the excuse that we got a call from immigration as part of their routine check to confirm the exact date our relatives will be leaving Singapore – especially after they have already extended their visa. (You can take advantage of the perception of Singapore’s reputation of being strict and efficient). Your relatives won’t know if that is true for sure and it also subtly communicates to them that they are being monitored (hence not to try anything funny).

Hua even tried this “trick” on his relative’s child because he wants to chase him out. Good kid but Hua simply doesn’t want the hassle to ensure that all is well with him. His nephew is a recent graduate who is trying to seek employment in Singapore and whose dad is a senior government official in China. And if people so high up can be sold this line (Hua and this relative is still ‘close’ till this day), the average Chinese should be similarly vulnerable to this simple machination.

Hope this helps a little.

[warbird]

Originally Posted by justime

I would choose the latter option. Preferably with a girl whom you know covets you. This is to emphasize your status (girls often do not have an independent opinion, they like to get their cue from the choices made by other women - hence the desirability of the 'married man").

By sitting with a lady who likes you, your perceived value in A's eyes will go go up. Never mind if the other girl(s) is sitting with you pretty or not when compared to A. Women don’t see that way – they just see another “rival".

Also when you finally decide to go for “A”, she will feels a little triumph and have a nice shot of ego boost!

COF is really quite fun and enjoyable, but in the context of my experience it takes a lot more “work” to get a PRC accept this vis-à-vis other nationalities.

And believe it or not, for me Singaporean girls are the most receptive to the idea of COF! What about other brothers?

Hi bro justime,

Thx for ur advice.

BTW, JJ went back today.

Cheers!

[justime]

Originally Posted by theUnforgotten

Never add in

1. Phone no money
2. Need money for school

555 - heard most of them before

Originally Posted by LeSaux

How about need money for new ride? Brand new subaru wrx sti...

I will talk more about this later but for now remember:

1) It is not WHAT they say but HOW they say it (and under what context) that is important.

Sometimes despite the fact that we know it is an obvious lie, we still fall into their machinations. It is because of the PRC WL employment of the "how" (such as sheding copious tears, flatter your ego, threats of 'breaking up' with you because you can't even support her in such easy request, the use of love wanyangs and seduction ...).

2) In spite of the obvious lie, never lose control of your temper and emotions. (Unless you want to break off this relationship).

The more empowering approach (assuming that you still want to continue the relationship) is to use a negotiatory approach. In business dealings, you never lose your temper (unless it is a deliberate strategy). The same applies here to when dealing with the mistress.

The short version of the strategy when confronted with situation of a WL asking for money is:

1) Understand the real reason and motivation why the PRC WL needs the money(afterall your patronage fees should be more than adequate to cover her lifestyle)? Is it only greed per se? Or taught by a Mother Hen to extract more money from you?

2) Why the need for the lie?

3) Present generally a serious take charge mode of communication. Use man-speak (the use of cold, rational, problem solving tone) with a hint of threat of breaking off the relationship if she insist on getting the money.

* Know however that when a woman (whom you still want to keep) asks for additional money it is generally bad news. You want to minimise damage to your wallet and extract the most out of the situation!

4) After the hard talk, which use woman-speak (emotional caring tone) to drive home your point and the solutions. So that she will be ready to accept it!

I will elaborate more about this on Masterstroke 3: Be a Confident Bastard.

[Gentle Beast]

Originally Posted by justime

Thank you Gentle Beast for the compliment and the rep points. Appreciate it.

Hope this helps a little.

Many thanks justime, for your prompt and comprehensive reply to my query. You have covered a wide area on the 'what ifs' and I deeply appreciate your sharing of thoughts. I'm mentally prepared on what to expect and will do whatever necessary even to the point of lying on my address and phone contact if pressed . I'm making this courtesy visit to my ancestral homeland as an extension of my holiday and partly as a respect for my late parents' wish that I will at least meet up with my relatives there in my lifetime.

Justime, one more question - I don't want to be there bearing '2 bunches of bananas' (without any gifts) so would appreciate if you can share some tips on what I can bring along (something that is thoughtful and yet not expensive). Thank you!

[Koreanlover]

Well bro Justime, I did not offer to BY my new target as explained by this incident.
SMS her yesterday afternoon and the conversation went :
Me - Its Sunday, where are you?
She - I am out shopping. Haven't shop for quite a while
Me - Thats nice. What did you buy? (trying to see wheather she goes for branded stuff)
She - only 3 dresses for work
Me - I see. I love shopping too
Me - Are you going to work tonite at TAM?
She - Yes but the late night shift only
Me - Why don't you skip that and meet me instead?
(long pause and no reply)
She - Haha. But you have to make up for lost in income for me ok?
Me - Sure. No problem at all
(another long pause from her)
She - I saw a nice handbag from a shop I liked so much and happens to be the cheapest
(me LOL to myself - here comes the fishing technique from her.)
Me - Which shop is it? Since it is nice, quickly buy it before someone takes it (I asked this way as I know what's coming next)
She - Its a LV bag that costs $1.1k but how can I afford it?
(so here's my chance to test her willingness to go to bed)
Me - Well I just got to know you, why don't I offer to pay half so at least you could buy the bag. Would you "chu jie" with me tonight?
(I could afford the LV easily but I want to be in a dominant position from ths start and thus testing how she reacts)

After 30 mind of silence...
She - You already know I don't Chu Jiie

(it could really mean she don't go to hotels and that she wanted me to pay for the whole bag. Well since she does not want my first offer, I did not proffer any further. )
Me - ok thanks. See you at TAM next time.

[warbird]

Originally Posted by justime

I will talk more about this later but for now remember:

1) It is not WHAT they say but HOW they say it (and under what context) that is important.
....................................
2) In spite of the obvious lie, never lose control of your temper and emotions. (Unless you want to break off this relationship).

The more empowering approach (assuming that you still want to continue the relationship) is to use a negotiatory approach. In business dealings, you never lose your temper (unless it is a deliberate strategy). The same applies here to when dealing with the mistress.

The short version of the strategy when confronted with situation of a WL asking for money is:
................................................

* Know however that when a woman (whom you still want to keep) asks for additional money it is generally bad news. You want to minimise damage to your wallet and extract the most out of the situation!

4) After the hard talk, which use woman-speak (emotional caring tone) to drive home your point and the solutions. So that she will be ready to accept it!

I will elaborate more about this on Masterstroke 3: Be a Confident Bastard.

Hi bro justime,

Thx for stressing that emotional discipline is the key.

"When a woman (whom you still want to keep) asks for additional money it is generally bad news. You want to minimise damage to your wallet and extract the most out of the situation."

It's really very bad news. An experienced bro told me yesterday that my heart is too soft n that I hv to be a player rather than a playee. He is 100% right. Once a gal knows that I like her, she will play hard to get n try to squeeze money out of me w/o going to bed. I need to change my mindset n treat these PRC MMs like common whores.

Perhaps I was poisoned by the American saying: “You treat a queen like a whore and a whore like a queen. You can’t go wrong.” I now know that is total BS.

Thx again for intro JJ. Although I might hv paid her above market rate, I met her outside KTVs n didn't spend a penny on drinks, etc.

Good day!!

[Blue_gal]

I guess its is not Not easy to make a "living" using the "CAT"..some are really BORN to make use of wat GOD has given to HER..i have a gf always living in her dream world..waiting for MAN to "provide a living" for her ..in exchange of her "CAT"..her last record was hoooking up a 60 yr old ang moh..she is only 28...had fun for 6 months...then now seeking for MAN again...

so i can say if there is a BUYER there is a SUPPLY...

wish that i can do in such "trade"...then i do not need to work like a BULL....

Cheer~
BitCh Blue AUnt|e

[waikeekee]

wish that i can do in such "trade"...then i do not need to work like a BULL....

Cheer~
BitCh Blue AUnt|e
[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

Er,,,you should mean work like a Cow right, since you are an aunty? Hey, many ppl like myself, love MILF and aunties. Please dont sell yourself short. I am sure you have your attributes.

Just another guy with too many 2 cents worth

[justime]

Originally Posted by Gentle Beast

……… I'm making this courtesy visit to my ancestral homeland as an extension of my holiday and partly as a respect for my late parents' wish that I will at least meet up with my relatives there in my lifetime.

Justime, one more question - I don't want to be there bearing '2 bunches of bananas' (without any gifts) so would appreciate if you can share some tips on what I can bring along (something that is thoughtful and yet not expensive). Thank you!

Hi Gentle Beast, now this is what filial piety is about: honouring your late parents’ wishes despite the feeling of discomfiture in the execution. You have my utmost respect for that GB!

It is difficult to suggest the type of gifts in the absence of key information. Like for how may persons you are buying for, male/female, age group, budget. Once I have this information, I will be in a better position to recommend.

For gifts buying I usually rely on my PA (even for those of my gf and mistress). Unless it’s a deliberate gift buying strategy to win over a ladies heart or capture that elusive biz deal – I hardly do my own “shopping”.

Now I learnt this important thing in my numerous shopping jaunt with a PRC mei mei: Despite China being the “world’s factory” and the proliferation of imitation goods there, it is important to communicate that the gifts come from overseas and not bought in China.

For example, my PRC mistress (ex waitress) for example bought her dad an Adidas shirt when she returned home. This is something “cheap” but not so readily available in China. This is Ironic, considering the prominence of China at garment manufacturing.

China may be the Contract Manufacturer for a brand but ironically the prices for the goods for the mainland Chinese cost more vis-à-vis overseas – especially for the non imitation originals). Trust me – I know this very well as I do own a China based factory which is a CM of a major brand!

Okay just off the cuff suggestions (in the absence of info):

1) If gifts are for many, it can be as ‘cheap’ as branded sports apparel (or even cigars) for the male and some trinkets for the ladies.

2) If for the family and not individuals, my last gift that went very well without breaking the bank – i.e. cost less than a bottle at Club Infinitude - is a Swarovski crystal of a dragon that I gave to the head of the household. (I got it cheap when I travel to Austria, Tyrol).

[justime]

Originally Posted by Koreanlover

Well bro Justime, I did not offer to BY my new target as explained by this incident.
SMS her yesterday afternoon and the conversation went :
……………………
Me - Well I just got to know you, why don't I offer to pay half so at least you could buy the bag. Would you "chu jie" with me tonight?
(I could afford the LV easily but I want to be in a dominant position from ths start and thus testing how she reacts)

After 30 mins of silence...
She - You already know I don't Chu Jiie

(it could really mean she don't go to hotels and that she wanted me to pay for the whole bag. Well since she does not want my first offer, I did not proffer any further. )
Me - ok thanks. See you at TAM next time.

Hi Koreanlover, you are right to walk away from the deal. She just wants to have her cake and eat it too.

We may marvel at how this so very obvious modus operandi can work when calmer minds prevail. But know this: many men (I hope that no readers of this thread would be among them) would have gone right in and offered to buy her the LV bag in the hope that it will touch her heart in actual situation. By at least ‘refusing’ at the outset, you are one up on all the Uninformed Robert wannabes.

Please do not buy into the ludicrous premise that by lavishing the prospect an expensive gift, you will win her heart. What you are buying for yourself is only a self perceived notion that you are foremost in her consideration vis-à-vis her other suitors (which she will invariably have).

Potential Suitor Ball park mathematics: I have actually sat down with at least ten WLs (mostly my ex-mistress) to work out the number of new men they met in a month.

Assuming a relatively conservative estimate of just three (new) tables a night for twenty nights; it will yield sixty different reactions/prospects for her*. Out of this sixty, I am sure there will be some who mistaken think the fantasy element of a KTV mirrors real life. There will definitely be some uninformed Roberts in the mix who will woo her by throwing money.

* (Come on, even for an unmotivated WL like XH working for slightly less than a month here, there are 153 men in her calling list!)

Self delusion aside, imagine paying a thousand plus simply for just the chance to be considered as her potential suitor – one of many too I might add! Might as well book her at least five times at her nite club and use her ‘trap’ situation to ensnare her!

Talking about self delusion, many a time we subconsciously dis-empower ourselves by limiting our choice. Once we see some beauty we like, we stop the hunt and focus on the single prey. There is no basis for this limitation except that she appeals to our sense of aesthetics currently. We then make it on our mind that she is unique and rare. We let her beauty so enamored us that we overlook (or intentional overlook) her flaws and materialistic ways.

There is some much to elaborate but so little time here to do so. I may be way off the mark but I sense that you are trying quite hard to replace your earlier “failure” by demonstrating quick success with another WL (instead of just taking it casual and take the love wayangs and sex as it comes.)

In case my intuition is correct, please just remember these quick wisdoms when dealing with a potential prospect:

1) Its axiomatic I know, but there are plenty of fishes in the sea. You must go out to seek them constantly. Forget the one that got away, Look out for the overall catch. My best mistress ever is one that I initially overlook and did not even want to have ST at first!

2) Face the facts: a lot of the WLs are here for primarily for money. Love is secondary. Don’t focus on the exception whereby the lady sacrifices money for love. Focus instead on the majority of cases (and the likelihood that despite your best efforts, you may never get into her heart at all).

Work on the basis that the women are materialistic and are out to take you for all you have got. Using this as a premise, see how you can take advantage of this fact for your own benefit.

The reason why the masterstrokes work and are so powerful is because it extrapolates the most effective and efficient course of action based on the above premise.

3) Love, infatuation and affection by the WL is extremely transient. It can be replaced by cold hard pragmatic consideration in an instant. Today she might think the world of you and the very next day she will think that you are dirt simply because you not indulge her the way she wants or just simply a new better prospect comes into her life.

Despite XH (got some new updates to share) extreme love wayangs for me currently, I never for once dismiss or forget the notion that the co called infatuation / love / like can be switched off easily and be replaced by a money grabbing attitude or that she may ‘butterfly’ when a better prospect come along.

The attitude above should NOT be construed to mean that I see ulterior motive in all her actions or that I don’t enjoy the pampering and saying sessions!

Thinking that once you won her heart, it will be permanent is worse than not making any headway in the first instance.

Take care and fun bro!

[Koreanlover]

There is some much to elaborate but so little time here to do so. I may be way off the mark but I sense that you are trying quite hard to replace your earlier “failure” by demonstrating quick success with another WL (instead of just taking it casual and take the love wayangs and sex as it comes.)

Bro Justime you have read me so well! Yes I did not realized it myself and frankly your advice, wisdom is like no other. I really find salace andcomfort that I can turn to you for advice. I must distant myself from the one that got away.

[Koreanlover]

Guys,
if you have been following this thread closely, you will learn a lot and save yourself heartache and money! Remember the WL that asks me for an LV? After my test by offering just half the sponsorship. She did not call me or respond to my SMS. So don't fall for any of this tricks and be an uninformed Robert - money can't buy love, if it does Be Wary!

[Blue_gal]

Originally Posted by waikeekee

wish that i can do in such "trade"...then i do not need to work like a BULL....

Cheer~
BitCh Blue AUnt|e
[/COLOR]

Er,,,you should mean work like a Cow right, since you are an aunty? Hey, many ppl like myself, love MILF and aunties. Please dont sell yourself short. I am sure you have your attributes.

Just another guy with too many 2 cents worth[/QUOTE]

if me got "material" to do the "trade" .. i might consider.....to forgo the PRIDE ..

But tHen i think i still hv some to keep for myself...at least n i believe in HARD EARNED MONEY ... like the COW in the field...

Well, if i am the GUY wif the $$$$ i would also like n can afford to choose what i wanna in life...

Good LUck guy with too many 2 cents worth..

Cheer~
BitChy Blue AUntiE