Tears For A PRC Prostitute

[aces68]

Originally Posted by ekemono

......
Women, no matter how independent, fierce or dorminant, hopes deep inside for her man to be firm, decisive, and to lead the relationship.
Giving in too much, even to unreasonable request or act is what the Western guys like to coined it "wimpy", a floor mat. And who values a floor mat.?
In the end you loose your characters, and she loose her interest level in you....

I agree with you, bro, but what would you say if a strong and stubborn woman simply says to you "if you want a doormat as a wife, go look for a china girl, they can be your doormat, not me..", but actually I don't think I treat my women as doormat. On the contrary, I think I am quite reasonable.

[ekemono]

Originally Posted by aces68

I agree with you, bro, but what would you say if a strong and stubborn woman simply says to you "if you want a doormat as a wife, go look for a china girl, they can be your doormat, not me..", but actually I don't think I treat my women as doormat. On the contrary, I think I am quite reasonable.

Of course nobody likes to be treated like a doormat, both men and women alike. If a guy expects to treat a lady a doormat, then he should expect himself to be treated the same.

Being strong? i suppose it is a virtue, a neccesity to forge your way thru in this hash world.

Stubborn? Dun know. No comment yet

[wodemama]

Originally Posted by aces68

So the choices that I have are really :-

1. Continue as it is and accept that I would not have a family (meaning kids) of my own.
2. Re-boot and get a new lease of life.

If I choose option 1, I can foresee that I may be able to bear with the situation for a while, but for how long and as time goes by, I may even feel hatred towards her for denying me a family..sounds crazy but true. I mean can you imagine my feeling when my friends or new friends ask me "why don't you have any kids" or "how many kids do you have?". I always flinched at this kind of questions.

Bro,Need and Want is two different things, it seems that your r/s is not so simple. Many couples who loved each other had kids in the end even though one party initially didnt want to, but along the way, they relent because they love the other party so much.

Option 1 will have a negative aftermath for you towards her, like you said. she denied you a chance to have a family with her. And for her to keep saying thoese hurtful words, it aint nice being in your shoes.

Originally Posted by aces68

If I had the resources, I would look for a 2nd wife to bear me a child and just keep the present wife and not divorce as you say, but I don't have the resources. Ironically, if I could find a 2nd wife who's willing to bear me a child, shouldn't it be that I should spend the rest of my life with the 2nd wife because she's the one who's willing to make the sacrifice to have a family with me. Maybe I'm talking too much from the emotion side.

Don't do this, what if your 2nd wife suddenly wants status? things will get very ugly and your wife may file for divorce on grounds on unfaithfulness and singapore doesnt allow polygamy. Not a really good idea. BUt if you really want, i would say a viet/thai wife is "easier" to keep and they will look after your child for you. They are much easier to please.

Originally Posted by aces68

So, it seems that Option 2 is more suitable for me. I really don't know if any bros had similar circumstances but if anyone has, I'm more than willing to listen to their experience and solution,,or if someone thinks there is an Option 3 or 4, it would be great to listen too.

Option 3 would be adopting,it seems that your wife dun mind and even said if you dun like the child u can send him/her away, probably she dun have any more compassion left in her.

Option 4, have a chat with her and find out the reason why she doesnt support the idea of starting a family with you although i feel that this should be discussed b4 the marriage right?

Originally Posted by aces68

In a r/s, the love is never balanced, one side will always love the other side more, makes sense ?

Yup, your right on. But sooner or later, one party will take every thing for granted and it will result in a break up sooner or later..

[wodemama]

Originally Posted by ekemono

Women, no matter how independent, fierce or dorminant, hopes deep inside for her man to be firm, decisive, and to lead the relationship.
Giving in too much, even to unreasonable request or act is what the Western guys like to coined it "wimpy", a floor mat. And who values a floor mat.?
In the end you loose your characters, and she loose her interest level in you.

But of course being tough, strong and all that does not indicate that we can beat them, shout at them.

Yup, women at the end of the day wants someone who can make decision for them, someone whos firm, like the elephants matriarch, they will do well in looking after the family if they really want to.

Girls ive speak to indicates they want someone whos man enough. I got a fren whos very nice, keep giving in to frens but the girls says they wouldnt want him as a BF? why? hes too nice doesnt have a mind of his own, for example if you wanna eat KFC and ur gf doesnt, be firm with it at times, show your manliness and dun keep giving in.

Originally Posted by longwinter

l really do love my this gf, maybe becos she was my 1st love bah. Did put in all my efforts and time in this r/s. And l tried all my best to make my gal happy. Whatever she wants, l will try to fulfil her requests. Even when she make me unhappy or flare temper wif me, l oso give in to her and never say anything. I tink she mite be tinking that l am a loser by always giving into her, machiam like a boring bf. As time passes, she jus became very unreasonable despite how good l treat her. l was also tinking and harbouring the hope that one day, she might realise it was her fault but sadly tat day never come. l jus tink too much on my side.

She can be so unreasonable and demanding that l can say my integrity and pride is totally smashed by her. Never did l feel so low as a man before. By comparing me wif her other guy frenz, continousy putting me down and even cursed and scold me on the fone, haiz.

in the end, her love for me jus faded, and l tink she fall for sumone, but she didnt dare to come clean wif me dun noe for wad reasons la. l mean she can dare to scold and insult me, putting me down, if wanna break wif me, jus tell me. But she didnt.

l dun like to stay in a r/s when there is no love and could see she was really unhappy, so l jus give up the r/s. Carrying on wif the r/s jus gets to nowhere and meaningless oso. Still remember tat day, l took down a taxi down to her house and that taxi trip jus seem to be so long. hais..and after l go find her, the moment l saw her, l jus cant say anything out, but still managed to force out my words. really cried very badly tat day, my heart is jus in total shatter pieces.

But since my breakup wif my love, l never experience such torment again le, and hopefully l wont go thru this ordeal again.

Dear bro, sad to hear to story i guess she must be your dream girl when u 1st met her.. When she puts you down could it be she wanted to rekindle the man in you? Girls very good at using tears, like you said u raised your voice a lil only and she want to cry liao.. Sometimes mind gotta think properly and logically, if its not your fault dun admit it.

[aces68]

Originally Posted by aces68

bro, good point. What would you say is the best way to let go gently in my case http://sammyboyforum.org.nz/2985002-post169.html. I mean I am ready to let go, but at the same time I don't want to say hurtful things. Should avoiding contact be the best way ? She is now in China and sometimes we still communicate by Video Call on MSN. The other day, while doing Video Call, she introduced her father and sister to me on MSN. I think she kinda likes me but at the same time also trying to KC me..wah lau..damn confused leh..At the same time, she knows I have OC (but stuck in unhappy situation). I made that very clear from the beginning.

Just an update on my PRC situation. I received a surprise sms from her today saying she's now in singapore. I have not replied her sms yet.

A bit of history here:- Actually last week, she asked me (through video call on MSN) to check prices of tickets for her and said she will send me her personal details (obviously to buy ticket for her to return). At that time, I was pondering how to escape from this, finally I checked the ticket price and sms her the next day with the following (sorry, translate from putonghua, of course) :-
Me: "The ticket price is about 1000RMB, since you have laptop now, you can buy it by yourself. You can check it at this website (I gave her airline website address). This time when you come I will not have so much time to accompany you."
She: "OK, I understand, thank you. Actually I was thinking to meet you for your birthday".
Me: "No my birthday was last month. You also send me sms to wish me at that time. Maybe you forgot"
Then there was some argumentative sms about my birthday date.

Anyway, roll back to present time, this was her sms today.
我到新了、忙完这几天给电话你…或者有时间你给电话我:-)
I know she's in SG for sure because she's using SG hp no to send the sms.

I am still pondering how to reply to her.
Any senior and expert bro in KC case can help ?

[aces68]

bro, tks for your comments. You spoke the words in my mind. To reply some of your queries below.

Originally Posted by wodemama

Option 3 would be adopting,it seems that your wife dun mind and even said if you dun like the child u can send him/her away, probably she dun have any more compassion left in her.
Actually, the scenario is "if the adopted child is good, then it's ok but if she does not like the adopted child, she said I must send the child away or return the child." We just had this discussion 2 months ago.
Option 4, have a chat with her and find out the reason why she doesnt support the idea of starting a family with you although i feel that this should be discussed b4 the marriage right?
Yes, you are correct, maybe I was naive then and smitten by her looks. We did discuss before marriage, she was reluctant (but never said no) only want to have one or 2 maids, worry if the kids turn out deformed or naugthy, etc..but never said no kids. When I point this out to her, she said yes, that was before, now she's changed her mind.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Originally Posted by aces68

Just an update on my PRC situation. I received a surprise sms from her today saying she's now in singapore. I have not replied her sms yet.

A bit of history here:- Actually last week, she asked me (through video call on MSN) to check prices of tickets for her and said she will send me her personal details (obviously to buy ticket for her to return). At that time, I was pondering how to escape from this, finally I checked the ticket price and sms her the next day with the following (sorry, translate from putonghua, of course) :-
Me: "The ticket price is about 1000RMB, since you have laptop now, you can buy it by yourself. You can check it at this website (I gave her airline website address). This time when you come I will not have so much time to accompany you."
She: "OK, I understand, thank you. Actually I was thinking to meet you for your birthday".
Me: "No my birthday was last month. You also send me sms to wish me at that time. Maybe you forgot"
Then there was some argumentative sms about my birthday date.

Anyway, roll back to present time, this was her sms today.
我到新了、忙完这几天给电话你…或者有时间你给电话我:-)
I know she's in SG for sure because she's using SG hp no to send the sms.

I am still pondering how to reply to her.
Any senior and expert bro in KC case can help ?

Do wat me & my friends who dun wanna make thing ugly do.....
Just reply her "嗯"
They being PRC will understand
use things like 嗯，噢，哦， 知道了
That will surely tell her wat u wanna tell her!
one word reply hor...enuff liao

[aces68]

Originally Posted by DO_YOU_BJ

Do wat me & my friends who dun wanna make thing ugly do.....
Just reply her "嗯"
They being PRC will understand
use things like 嗯，噢，哦， 知道了
That will surely tell her wat u wanna tell her!
one word reply hor...enuff liao

tks for the tip, bro.

[glooper83]

Originally Posted by DO_YOU_BJ

Do wat me & my friends who dun wanna make thing ugly do.....
Just reply her "嗯"
They being PRC will understand
use things like 嗯，噢，哦， 知道了
That will surely tell her wat u wanna tell her!
one word reply hor...enuff liao

I not PRC, i dun understand. What does it mean?

I checked dictionary but doesn't tally leh.. The PRC gal that sms me also keep using the 嗯,哦...

Issit like lah, lor, leh.. ?

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Originally Posted by glooper83

I not PRC, i dun understand. What does it mean?

I checked dictionary but doesn't tally leh.. The PRC gal that sms me also keep using the 嗯,哦...

Issit like lah, lor, leh.. ?

Yup!
Ya, Or, En......basically, this means NOTED in short.....
And its a very good indication cos if someone really has you in heart, these words will be continued wif a sentense....not just one word...learnt something new again eh bro glooper

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Originally Posted by aces68

tks for the tip, bro.

嗯.........

[longwinter]

Originally Posted by ekemono

Bro, I am sad for you but glad that you have fred yourself from the ordeal.
I used to, in my youngest days, assume that by giving in alot is a direct act of loving someone. But it was proven wrong.

Women, no matter how independent, fierce or dorminant, hopes deep inside for her man to be firm, decisive, and to lead the relationship.
Giving in too much, even to unreasonable request or act is what the Western guys like to coined it "wimpy", a floor mat. And who values a floor mat.?
In the end you loose your characters, and she loose her interest level in you.

But of course being tough, strong and all that does not indicate that we can beat them, shout at them.

ya, thankfully l survived too!!! Since fro tat r/s, l did learnt alot of things. She taught me alot of things in the r/s.

true, l tink a guy must be firm and steady la, she did says tat she dun feel secure being wif me... l too oso tink l am kinda wimpy and loser last time, tink that is oso one of the main factor tat caused my r/s to go haywire.

Of cos, like l say, it is actually a very simple 2 way thing, u respect me, l respect u. In a r/s, respect and trust for each other is very impt. And one thing to note, l always tink tat guys shldnt beat gals at all.

[longwinter]

Originally Posted by wodemama

Dear bro, sad to hear to story i guess she must be your dream girl when u 1st met her.. When she puts you down could it be she wanted to rekindle the man in you? Girls very good at using tears, like you said u raised your voice a lil only and she want to cry liao.. Sometimes mind gotta think properly and logically, if its not your fault dun admit it.

ya, u bet. And summore she is jus the type of gal l like. Really love her alot, much more than l love for myself. Ya la, l tink l jus cant bear la, say me weak or soft. Ya, everytime in the r/s, it will always be my fault, she no fault one.

If l dun love her so much, l tink l wont even feel any pain when breaking up wif her. The pain is so immense.

[longwinter]

Originally Posted by DO_YOU_BJ

Do wat me & my friends who dun wanna make thing ugly do.....
Just reply her "嗯"
They being PRC will understand
use things like 嗯，噢，哦， 知道了
That will surely tell her wat u wanna tell her!
one word reply hor...enuff liao

嗯，噢，哦， 知道了, very common words fro prc.

machiam like jus entertaining ppl only.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Originally Posted by longwinter

And one thing to note, l always tink tat guys shldnt beat gals at all.

Agree and dun agree bro...i guess depends on situation.....
Some bitches deserves to get the crap beaten outta them.......
Becos of the tot that we women will not kenna K from men, they will tend to do anything and everything they want to........and get away from verbal abuse only????????
Again, depends on situation.