Mistress

[warbird]

Originally Posted by justime

Now that I have extracted - almost randomly from throughout this thread, let me provide a little analysis on whether I lived up to the precepts of empowerment that I talked about ....

(To be con't .....)

Hi bro justime,

Are u back from Thailand?

Your posts r certainly worth reading again n again...

I want to ask u n other experienced bros here re the many problems associated w/ long-term BY of 1 yr or longer. It's almost like keeping an er nai or getting married!　Some gals want long-term commitment of at least a yr.

Thx n goodnight!!

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Originally Posted by warbird

I want to ask u n other experienced bros here re the many problems associated w/ long-term BY of 1 yr or longer. It's almost like keeping an er nai or getting married!　Some gals want long-term commitment of at least a yr.

Actually, in my book, a 二奶 is a mistress.
All others are lovers, toys, meat , toilets or FBs
Let's start on the wants of long term commitments.

From a gal's POV
1) I have a fixed regular income to look forward to on a weekly, bi-monthly or monthly period.
Like any wage earner looking forward to pay day
2) No need to stoop so low as to GIVE themselves to so many men for some pocket money (very tiring and mind draining), let alone, making themselves feel really dirty
3) They can start planning on how to manage their steady in-flow of funds
4) The longer I drag with the man who BY me on a long term basis, the more time i have to KC him jialat jailat
After all, its a fact that the longer time 2 spends together, affections & emotions will develop
5) Most importantly, I only face 1 man!
6) The man who BY me is my main course, but what's stopping me from getting appetizers and desserts to get more income????
Since when is enough $$$$ enough???????

From a guy's POV:
1) Unless you wanna stop cheonging, this is a good way to maintain a new LOVE LIFE in your life
2) Can be headache, if you still cheong, everytime you see new blood, headache, cos need to part more $$$$ just to get new meat, some can't just outright dump the mistress, cos of the amount of time sacrifices she made for him, thus emotional attachments will lead you to pity her & thus still keep her around
3) A big danger is to actually fall in love wif them, for your initial aim was just the GFE and of cos, the meat
4) As time progresses, and feelings will develop in time for sure, she who entertained & fulfilled your WILDEST needs may want more than just $$$$, that's when a beautiful dream becomes a nightmare for you
5) These WLs can become extremely possessive when they decided to stick with you for watever reasons, then, you will have to not only sneak out from your wife, but also this new BY.....thus, you actually trap yourself from freedom of movement
What happens when i'm traveling or out stationed for a while?
I still have to put $$$$ into her account but is she gonna be faithful or have secret rendezvous behind my back?

Well, that's my humble from a WLs and a guy's point of view.
Bros wif more or feels mine are not accurate enuff, do share!

[Eneru]

good story please come some more thanks

[Soul_Reaper]

Originally Posted by DO_YOU_BJ

I still have to put $$$$ into her account but is she gonna be faithful or have secret rendezvous behind my back?

So troublesome for wat? I have forgone many offers to BY some really chio and young ones....... coz my mantra now is f*ck n forget

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Originally Posted by Soul_Reaper

So troublesome for wat? I have forgone many offers to BY some really chio and young ones....... coz my mantra now is f*ck n forget

Ah well said, so troublesome for wat?????'Well, I totally agree wif wat u said, but i was just replying to bro WarBird's question

[warbird]

Originally Posted by DO_YOU_BJ

Actually, in my book, a 二奶 is a mistress.
All others are lovers, toys, meat , toilets or FBs
Let's start on the wants of long term commitments.

From a gal's POV
1) I have a fixed regular income to look forward to on a weekly, bi-monthly or monthly period.
Like any wage earner looking forward to pay day
2) No need to stoop so low as to GIVE themselves to so many men for some pocket money (very tiring and mind draining), let alone, making themselves feel really dirty
3) They can start planning on how to manage their steady in-flow of funds
4) The longer I drag with the man who BY me on a long term basis, the more time i have to KC him jialat jailat
After all, its a fact that the longer time 2 spends together, affections & emotions will develop
5) Most importantly, I only face 1 man!
6) The man who BY me is my main course, but what's stopping me from getting appetizers and desserts to get more income????
Since when is enough $$$$ enough???????

From a guy's POV:
1) Unless you wanna stop cheonging, this is a good way to maintain a new LOVE LIFE in your life
2) Can be headache, if you still cheong, everytime you see new blood, headache, cos need to part more $$$$ just to get new meat, some can't just outright dump the mistress, cos of the amount of time sacrifices she made for him, thus emotional attachments will lead you to pity her & thus still keep her around
3) A big danger is to actually fall in love wif them, for your initial aim was just the GFE and of cos, the meat
4) As time progresses, and feelings will develop in time for sure, she who entertained & fulfilled your WILDEST needs may want more than just $$$$, that's when a beautiful dream becomes a nightmare for you
5) These WLs can become extremely possessive when they decided to stick with you for watever reasons, then, you will have to not only sneak out from your wife, but also this new BY.....thus, you actually trap yourself from freedom of movement
What happens when i'm traveling or out stationed for a while?
I still have to put $$$$ into her account but is she gonna be faithful or have secret rendezvous behind my back?

Well, that's my humble from a WLs and a guy's point of view.
Bros wif more or feels mine are not accurate enuff, do share!

Hi bro DYBJ,

Ths for taking time to give a detailed n insightful analysis on the subject of long-term BY, from both POVs.

As u hv pointed out, in a long-term RS, even though the gal is a paid woman she may become very possessive n sticky. If she knows her man is not faithful to her, she may hv no qualms in fxxking around...especially when he is not in town.

Of course the biggest danger is for the man to fall in love w/ his BAO-ee...then he is ruined. Since falling in love is not a conscious choice, no man is immune...

Ths n have a great holiday!!!

[justime]

Originally Posted by warbird

….

Are u back from Thailand?

I want to ask u n other experienced bros here re the many problems associated w/ long-term BY of 1 yr or longer. It's almost like keeping an er nai or getting married!　Some gals want long-term commitment of at least a yr.

Hi Bro Warbird, I am still in BKK, Paeng is treating my exceedingly well. In fact so good that I have not visited my usual hangout at Poseidon (Ratchada) this time round ..... yet!

With regards to Long Term Commitment, it is heartening to note that your Time Perspective classifies a “One Year Period” as LONG term. When you enter into a BY arrangement, we always note the transitory and transient nature of the relationship.

I have mentioned here that Hua have a mistress in Shanghai for four years and that Paeng herself is with me for longer than a year. XH, on the other hand, (if there should be no follow up, lasts for about two months thereabout). Notwithstanding the duration, we always know that (and may I add our mistress too) the relationship will inevitably run its course. No such “Tian chang di jiu” (general translation: live-time, forever) nonsense!

Note that the key feature here we call the shots with regards to the duration of the patronage/tenure. If boredom sets in, we will extricate ourselves – quickly and without guilt or any remorse whatsoever. Being experienced, we are inured against tears, emotional blackmail etc …. (it is part of the “bastard” attribute that I will talk about later).

You also need to recognize that the above cuts both ways, your mistress too can cut you off if a better prospect comes along or that she want to take her life into a new direction. You too need to itinerant mentality. When the need to move on surfaces, you move on. No lingering. That is why it is of paramount importance to create multiple options for yourself.

I am presuming here that your questions stems from the “negotiation” stage. Of course, most prospective mistress would “prefer” or present a viewpoint that they want a “Long Term” arrangement. Firstly, it will massage her would be patron’s ego i.e. that she want a relationship and not only money per se. (DO NOT have this thought whatsoever, its $ sign and only $ that fuels this relationship). Secondly, not only does this arrangement secure their immediate financial needs, they can also have the option of finding their other prospects during this time.

As such, never, never pay anything upfront beyond the first month advance*. Also be vague about the period of Patronage. Theoretically a one year period is no problem – so you can (and should) mentioned the following provisos : that the one year period is no problem, provided you, my mistress, treat me good and ensure that I am not bored with you. (The latter is almost invariably used by a prospective mistress during the negotiation process to secure a long term commitment – and the proviso I alluded earlier is your counter argument).

Now you make the onus on your prospective mistress to ensure that you are not bored with her and that she has to work hard to make it work for the year.

* (It should be obvious that the payment system works on a monthly/fortnightly/weekly/daily/houly basis. Never even bi-monthly advance payment!)

[justime]

Originally Posted by DO_YOU_BJ

Actually, in my book, a 二奶 is a mistress.
All others are lovers, toys, meat , toilets or FBs
Let's start on the wants of long term commitments.

From a guy's POV:
1) Unless you wanna stop cheonging, this is a good way to maintain a new LOVE LIFE in your life
2) Can be headache, if you still cheong, everytime you see new blood, headache, cos need to part more $$$$ just to get new meat, some can't just outright dump the mistress, cos of the amount of time sacrifices she made for him, thus emotional attachments will lead you to pity her & thus still keep her around
3) A big danger is to actually fall in love wif them, for your initial aim was just the GFE and of cos, the meat
4) As time progresses, and feelings will develop in time for sure, she who entertained & fulfilled your WILDEST needs may want more than just $$$$, that's when a beautiful dream becomes a nightmare for you
5) These WLs can become extremely possessive when they decided to stick with you for watever reasons, then, you will have to not only sneak out from your wife, but also this new BY.....thus, you actually trap yourself from freedom of movement
What happens when i'm traveling or out stationed for a while?
I still have to put $$$$ into her account but is she gonna be faithful or have secret rendezvous behind my back?

Thanks DYBJ for once again brilliantly highlighting the pitfalls of having a Long Term commitment with a BY. If should be obvious by now that, in addition to having some financial wherewithal to support a mistress, you must also be emotionally steady to engage a Mistress or else run the risk of being manipulated by them.

Originally Posted by Soul_Reaper

So troublesome for wat? I have forgone many offers to BY some really chio and young ones....... coz my mantra now is f*ck n forget

Originally Posted by warbird

..... in a long-term RS, even though the gal is a paid woman she may become very possessive n sticky. If she knows her man is not faithful to her, she may hv no qualms in fxxking around...especially when he is not in town.

Of course the biggest danger is for the man to fall in love w/ his BAO-ee...then he is ruined. Since falling in love is not a conscious choice, no man is immune...

Having a mistress or a BY is not for the everyman. You must recognize that in addition to the money, there is also temperament, personal idiosyncrasy and character element to consider. If you are emotionally vulnerable, do NOT go this route.

This being said, there are differences between “F**k & Forget” based relationship vis-à-vis a mistress besides the time element. In a mistress based relationship, the emotional texture and content is much more intense and multi faceted. (Please note that this not necessarily a positive attribute – it can do you harm on your psyche if you cannot handle it).

I have mentioned earlier, that human relationships can be expressed in variety and a myriad of ways. For some, the sex element is NOT central. I can therefore appreciate and empathize why the “F**k & Forget” model is not a viable option for some brothers.

Know however, the potential price to pay when emotional content is involved in the equation. Yes, you have very sweet wayangs (when I see how Paeng diligently & conscientiously manicures me, I feel bit touched!), but you also have to encounter the more negative emotional content like: tantrums, jealousy fits etc…..

It is therefore safe to say, that the F**k & Forget model is best bet against unnecessary vexations – as bro Soul_Reaper so elegantly puts it: So troublesome for wat?

I would in fact highly recommend that you endeavor this “F&F” model first even before you BY. (If you have the ‘skillset’, you can even create nice sweet wayangs in the context of ST relationship). Only after you have developed a certain degree of callousness with regards to your interactions with women do you attempt BY. This is what I call getting emotionally prepared. (Re-read Bro DYBJ posting on the pitfalls of BY).

If after you have tried and done all that, and still think that BY is the route you want to go. The decision (and the consequence) is yours alone. But do always always pay heed to this key precept: You must always think whether you are empowered in the relationship - before & during and even efter the relationship!.

If you are not empowered, quickly cut it out. Also think in terms of your own selfish gratification rather than winning over the heart of your mistress. You money already won her heart – no other niceties are needed!

Cheers and Happy Singapore National Day to all Singaporeans!

[Tashigi]

good story

[warbird]

Originally Posted by justime

Hi Bro Warbird, I am still in BKK, Paeng is treating my exceedingly well....

With regards to Long Term Commitment, it is heartening to note that your Time Perspective classifies a “One Year Period” as LONG term. When you enter into a BY arrangement, we always note the transitory and transient nature of the relationship.

I have mentioned here that Hua have a mistress in Shanghai for four years and that Paeng herself is with me for longer than a year.............

Note that the key feature here we call the shots with regards to the duration of the patronage/tenure. If boredom sets in, we will extricate ourselves – quickly and without guilt or any remorse whatsoever. Being experienced, we are inured against tears, emotional blackmail etc …. (it is part of the “bastard” attribute that I will talk about later).

You also need to recognize that the above cuts both ways, your mistress too can cut you off if a better prospect comes along or that she want to take her life into a new direction.........you move on. No lingering. That is why it is of paramount importance to create multiple options for yourself.

I am presuming here that your questions stems from the “negotiation” stage. Of course, most prospective mistress would “prefer” or present a viewpoint that they want a “Long Term” arrangement. Firstly, it will massage her would be patron’s ego i.e. that she want a relationship and not only money per se. [I](DO NOT have this thought whatsoever, its $ sign and only $ that fuels this relationship).........................

As such, never, never pay anything upfront beyond the first month advance*. Also be vague about the period of Patronage. Theoretically a one year period is no problem – so you can (and should) mentioned the following provisos : that the one year period is no problem, provided you, my mistress, treat me good and ensure that I am not bored with you. (The latter is almost invariably used by a prospective mistress during the negotiation process to secure a long term commitment – and the proviso I alluded earlier is your counter argument).

Now you make the onus on your prospective mistress to ensure that you are not bored with her and that she has to work hard to make it work for the year...............

Hello bro justime,

You must be having a great time in BKK!!

Thx for ur wise n expert counseling. I'm still in the negotiating stage w/ a couple of gals who want a "long-term" RS. Your advice is very useful!

I'll never ever give any upfront payment to them.

Originally Posted by justime

Having a mistress or a BY is not for the everyman......If you are emotionally vulnerable, do NOT go this route.

This being said, there are differences between “F**k & Forget” based relationship vis-à-vis a mistress besides the time element. In a mistress based relationship, the emotional texture and content is much more intense and multi faceted. (Please note that this not necessarily a positive attribute – it can do you harm on your psyche if you cannot handle it).

I have mentioned earlier, that human relationships can be expressed in variety and a myriad of ways. For some, the sex element is NOT central. I can therefore appreciate and empathize why the “F**k & Forget” model is not a viable option for some brothers.

Know however, the potential price to pay when emotional content is involved in the equation.......................................... .....................

I would in fact highly recommend that you endeavor this “F&F” model first even before you BY. (If you have the ‘skillset’, you can even create nice sweet wayangs in the context of ST relationship). Only after you have developed a certain degree of callousness with regards to your interactions with women do you attempt BY. This is what I call getting emotionally prepared. (Re-read Bro DYBJ posting on the pitfalls of BY).

If after you have tried and done all that, and still think that BY is the route you want to go. The decision (and the consequence) is yours alone. But do always always pay heed to this key precept: You must always think whether you are empowered in the relationship - before & during and even efter the relationship!.

If you are not empowered, quickly cut it out. Also think in terms of your own selfish gratification rather than winning over the heart of your mistress. You money already won her heart – no other niceties are needed!

Cheers and Happy Singapore National Day to all Singaporeans!

Dear bro justime,

I hv already tried BY n I like it. I hope to get more hands on experience, hahaha.

I do hv a question. It's a given that the gals u BY will not fxxk other men. Do u simply trust them or trust them but verify? If u verify, how far would u go? Would u get them accommodation w/ surveillance cameras very close to where u reside? Would u hv spies around the promises n at places where they work? Would u hire PI to follow them?

Thx n have a great day!

[ansonsohna]

Hi 师傅 Warbird, I have been following your adventures in tis thread & the "Picking up Outside KTV" thread. U seem to have so much energy & money to follow up on your pursuits. I 佩服 u solid solid ...... anyway I very the confused, you got so many targets:

Soli for being so kay-poh, hope u don’t mind me asking.

1) how many gals have u got BY right now? Got singer, hairdresser, student etc ……
2) U got go Short Time or every gal is only in the BY context?
3) what is your cheong budget per month?

For me of course I cannot afford to BY right now… only PCC niah! My cheong budget is effectively 零 till I can clear up my debt which should be around two months later.

Also thanks to my new ‘heong’ attitude, I met a new fren recently. We only light kiss for the moment. Unfortunately, I sibei cham. Beggar also want to be choosy. I don’t find her attractive at all. I also don’t want to hurt her by going further as I know how jialat it can be if kena playout. So I go S….L……O…….W with her!

[warbird]

Originally Posted by ansonsohna

Hi 师傅 Warbird, I have been following your adventures in tis thread & the "Picking up Outside KTV" thread. U seem to have so much energy & money to follow up on your pursuits. I 佩服 u solid solid ...... anyway I very the confused, you got so many targets:

Soli for being so kay-poh, hope u don’t mind me asking.

1) how many gals have u got BY right now? Got singer, hairdresser, student etc ……
2) U got go Short Time or every gal is only in the BY context?
3) what is your cheong budget per month?

For me of course I cannot afford to BY right now… only PCC niah! My cheong budget is effectively 零 till I can clear up my debt which should be around two months later.

Also thanks to my new ‘heong’ attitude, I met a new fren recently. We only light kiss for the moment. Unfortunately, I sibei cham. Beggar also want to be choosy. I don’t find her attractive at all. I also don’t want to hurt her by going further as I know how jialat it can be if kena playout. So I go S….L……O…….W with her!

Hi bro,

There r some personal details I can't divulge...suffice to say that I hv swallowed a bit more than I can digest at this time.

My strategy w/ KTV gals n others is to get ST if the gal is my type, always. If rejected repeatedly, I'll then offer to BY. Tell her long-term, but I'll try to make it brief bcos I get bored quickly. Strategy w/ singers is different and the little experience I hv had to date I got from the International Man of Mystery aka Mr. Austin.

I really dun hv a set cheong budget. As I said before, I hv had a very lucky streak...when my luck ends, my cheonging will end too. Then I will hv to drive a taxi n PCC until I get lucky again...

Never get involved w/ a gal U dun find attractive. It's better to PCC.

Cheers!!

[ansonsohna]

Originally Posted by warbird

There r some personal details I can't divulge...suffice to say that I hv swallowed a bit more than I can digest at this time.

My strategy w/ KTV gals n others is to get ST if the gal is my type, always. If rejected repeatedly, I'll then offer to BY. Tell her long-term, but I'll try to make it brief bcos I get bored quickly. Strategy w/ singers is different and the little experience I hv had to date I got from the International Man of Mystery aka Mr. Austin.

I really dun hv a set cheong budget. As I said before, I hv had a very lucky streak...when my luck ends, my cheonging will end too. Then I will hv to drive a taxi n PCC until I get lucky again...

Never get involved w/ a gal U dun find attractive. It's better to PCC.

Thank you for being so generous with yur sharing. Wat happen when u swallow more than u can digest? U pass on to bros? .... if so i really wish tat I can be tat little scavanger ... however presently bo $ & not worthy of tis privilege frm 师傅 yet!

u are so kind & nice to bros here, organise nice outings, dispensing valuable advice, sure to be bless solid one. May u be filled with lotsa lotsa $$$. beta u than some kiam siap guy who keep money & never contribute to economy!

I have thinking abt the issue of being w a gal i dun find attractive. wat is yur opinion? u tink love & lust can be 培养 one or not? can u 'do it' with gal u don't find attractive? can lust develop frm initially don't find sexy?

(BTW, I am 又丑又陋 - ugly & low station. So unless I make more $ for mistress, its 'settling' for what I can get. Don't know abt other bros but for me; sometimes even during ST/FL, I many times I got no 'Love Wayang' only the fucking).

Bro Justime: I read tis thread to motivate me to make more $$. Aspiration & inspiration. I know tat my now salary not enuff, so tinking hard of sideline biz (legal ones lah!) to supplement my 'laoyah' pay. i want to have the experience of BY one day. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

[wolf2305]

Originally Posted by justime

Hello bro wolf, if it is alright, could you document “the chase” if it is not too personal?

Every plan needs to be adapted to suit context, and you may just hit upon a powerful masterstroke that can benefit a lot of bros.

Bro Justime,

To document my chase has not been my forte, i will try my best to remember the chase and the methods i used along the way.

To getting to know the gal, i do employ your methods of getting to know the mummy/her best friend and limiting her income (although i have a budget, i have great friends that are willingly to help out )

Whenever she is with me, I will KC her, a gentleman that is different from others and definiatly treat her nice. Of cos up to the stage that i have not came up with any money except when she is ST with me. Time for the chase, 3 wks to 5 wks. I will make sure that everytime i am there i will make her ST with me (I only do that 2 wks once to visit her - to make her miss me) and of cos during that time, my freinds do help to limit her income as they are always there almost everynight.

After 3 wks, i ask her, using your methods that whether she could accept my terms.

Without this thread, i think i could not have done it.

And without the 3 gurus here, i think i am still sitting down and just thinking about it.

FYI, my gal has went back to China, and she cant wait to come back

[warbird]

Originally Posted by ansonsohna

Thank you for being so generous with yur sharing. Wat happen when u swallow more than u can digest? U pass on to bros? ....
.................................
I have thinking abt the issue of being w a gal i dun find attractive. wat is yur opinion? u tink love & lust can be 培养 one or not? can u 'do it' with gal u don't find attractive? can lust develop frm initially don't find sexy?

(BTW, I am 又丑又陋 - ugly & low station. So unless I make more $ for mistress, its 'settling' for what I can get. Don't know abt other bros but for me; sometimes even during ST/FL, I many times I got no 'Love Wayang' only the fucking)........................................

Hi bro,

I'll get indigestion...all I need is a 20mg tablet of Prilosec, hahaha.

Spending time w/ a gal whose face n body type r not attractive to u is a risky encounter. You should dump her ASAP. Why? She may, by sheer luck or karma, trigger neuro mechanisms in the primitive areas of ur brain (or the subconscious mind) n you may fall in love w/ her!! Attraction n falling in love, contrary to what many believe, is NOT a choice n you can't help it!!

A real MAN should never worry abt being ugly or having some physical imperfections; however, u must develop the attitude n body language of a high status male bcos:

YOUR PERCEIVED RATING ON THE MALE DOMINANCE SCALE IS THE SOLE DETERMINANT OF YOUR ATTRACTIVENESS TO WOMEN. PERIOD!!


Good Day!!