Tears For A PRC Prostitute

[wodemama]

Originally Posted by DO_YOU_BJ

The pull is strong....so damn strong......now its putely mind over matter liao.
The outcome can be seen honestly....
I wish this bro all the best.

Agree with you. Hope something good can come out of it.

[uobboss]

Originally Posted by lovemachine

oh my god, shes back. and the wrong thing was like so.

im gg back to meet her now was with her last night.

will update again.

Originally Posted by DO_YOU_BJ

Remember this post only 2 days ago......
Kudos to you bro lovemachine, took bolls to pen those thought in your heart here.
Just a word of advise, DUN CTC HER ANYMORE since you've made this decision...or it'll really bite in to you & if you 2 return back together, it'll be even more near impossible for you to pull away again......well dun, well dun!

I wish you all da best. All is a choice....all decisions made will lead to a different place and outcome. Good Luck dude

Bro lovemachine,

If you cannot or dare not give her what she wants .
Make a decision and do not drag .
The ball is in your court .
Your choice .

[slider_72]

Firstly, I must say sorry to TS for hijacking your thread.

I am being overwhelmed by emotions and SBF is the only place I can pour out my heart right now.

My gf was initially scheduled to go back on 3 September. I booked the ticket for her some time back. When I visited her this afternoon, she said that she wanted to go back as soon as possible as her mum is ill. I have my doubts as to the truth of the proferred reason for changing her travel plans but does it help me ease the pain even if I know the real reason? Even if the reason given was the truth, it still does not ease away the pain of separation. At her request, I changed her flight schedule to tomorrow morning.

Even though I was mentally prepared for her leaving next week, the truth of the matter suddenly hit me hard today, that we will be separated from now on, and perhaps forever.

My mind is in utter turmoil now and the pain is incredible. To make matters worse, I still need to come back to the office and put on a smile as though there is nothing wrong. When I go home later, I still need to put on the same facade. Apart from the SBF brothers here, there is no one I can share this secret of mine.

I will send her to the airport tonight. I hope I will not tear when she leaves. Even though she said that we should be able to meet again in future, either by my going over to see her in China or she might come back to Singapore to try to get a decent job, I am doubtful as to the probability of us ever meeting again in future. The logical part of me tells me that I should not even consider meeting up with her again in future even if we have the chance as it does not lead us anywhere. Perhaps tonight will really be 永别。

She said that she does not intend to work as a WL anymore after this stint in Singapore. I hope she is able to keep to those words even in times of hardship.

Although I have known her for a little less than 2 months, I am surprised by the flood of emotions I have for her. I'd like to think that I am a seasoned cheongster having played the field for close to two decades but yet I succumbed to her lock stock and barrel. I told her before that I probably owed her big time in a previous lifetime and I am now repaying my debts. There can be no other explanation for this.

If only I can clone myself and send one of me to China with her whilst the other me remain in Singapore. I am going out of my mind.

[colins]

Originally Posted by slider_72

Firstly, I must say sorry to TS for hijacking your thread.

I am being overwhelmed by emotions and SBF is the only place I can pour out my heart right now.

Bro, its going to be only you in your own life from now on. I reckon when you come back home, there will not be anything holding you back from a heart-wrenching sob. But bro, this is the time to cry, let it be.

I think many bros here been through this, myself I been through it twice for the same girl. The only thing we can do is to listen to you. So speak freely, and I guarantee you I'll listen to every word you say.

There must be hundreds of people we say sayonara to, (as in goodbye forever) everyday. But when that person is a part of us, the pain is excruciating. You see, a person can exist physically and standing beside us, and she can also exist spiritually in your mind. To let go a person, you need to let go of both her presence, and her memory. Only until then will you feel a lot better.

But be mindful of your recovery, keep a rein on yourself as whatever happen later, you must MAINTAIN YOUR LIFE. Do not make any drastic change. You can go into the other parts of your life, like your work and family. But maintain it and do not rock the boat to create more problems. This is not going to end today becos after she left, you still need to go thru the (long-distance relationship aka)cooling down stage.

Take care bro.

Oh yeah, if you can create a clone of yourself, you've gotto make sure your clone never knew your gf.

[glooper83]

Originally Posted by slider_72

I am going out of my mind.

Take care bro.. I know you might be going out of your mind from all the emotions at the moment, not sure if you can believe me at this juncture. But, i am pretty sure you'd forget her soon enough. Its easy to be in my position and say all these. But trust me, we've all been in your position before and know how it feels. The initial stage is the worst, feel the loneliest, so i would really suggest that you occupy yourself the coming days. Meet up with pals, go for boinks.. Hopefully, you would be able to let go slowly, and always remind yourself not to get involved in such "emotions" again. Cheerie Up dude!

[xyz1001]

Originally Posted by slider_72

I am being overwhelmed by emotions and SBF is the only place I can pour out my heart right now.

Even though I was mentally prepared for her leaving next week, the truth of the matter suddenly hit me hard today, that we will be separated from now on, and perhaps forever.
I am going out of my mind.

Bro Slider, i know, i understand, I was there recently. If u need someone to talk to, just drop me a pm. The harder part has yet to come. Remember your wife and kids are your best support. They love u.

Originally Posted by colins

This is not going to end today becos after she left, you still need to go thru the (long-distance relationship aka)cooling down stage.

Exactly. She will probably call u. U will feel happy again and things just drag on. If she dun call u, u will be sad but will probably heal faster.

Originally Posted by glooper83

The initial stage is the worst, feel the loneliest, so i would really suggest that you occupy yourself the coming days. Meet up with pals, go for boinks..

I think this is more of a emotional loneliness. Meeting with pals is a good idea but bonks i have doubts. I tried. It just get much much worse. Coz u will realise the differences between making love and having sex. For my case anyway.

Take care bro.

[ekemono]

Originally Posted by slider_72

I am being overwhelmed by emotions and SBF is the only place I can pour out my heart right now.

My mind is in utter turmoil now and the pain is incredible. To make matters worse, I still need to come back to the office and put on a smile as though there is nothing wrong. When I go home later, I still need to put on the same facade. Apart from the SBF brothers here, there is no one I can share this secret of mine.

Bro slider_72,

Firstly, we are always here for you to lend a listening ear.

I can fully understand those words you pen down, in fact me myself was pouring out my tots in very very long posting. I am sure some bros who visited "understanding Viet life partners" are aware and tolerating me
No one in the god damn world will expect me to want to marry a Viet ex-pub gal. I dun know who to share with.
When she is away, part of me went with her, and I cannot function properly. I dare not tell anyone at workplace, my circle of friends.
Everyday I put on a very positive front to my subordinates, to drive them ahead, but the moment i turn away to being along outside office, my face is a sad story.

We are here to listen to you. Tell us whatever you feel, tell us your tots about her now, your valuation into this deep love, what is making you speak of the posibility of not seeing her again, will it make a different if you pursuit the relationship.
It will be good to bring us up to speed with your situations and standings.

[Maxcock]

Originally Posted by slider_72

...My mind is in utter turmoil now and the pain is incredible. To make matters worse, I still need to come back to the office and put on a smile as though there is nothing wrong. When I go home later, I still need to put on the same facade. Apart from the SBF brothers here, there is no one I can share this secret of mine.

......Although I have known her for a little less than 2 months, I am surprised by the flood of emotions I have for her. I'd like to think that I am a seasoned cheongster having played the field for close to two decades but yet I succumbed to her lock stock and barrel.

.....If only I can clone myself and send one of me to China with her whilst the other me remain in Singapore. I am going out of my mind.

Bro, after reading your post, I felt oligated to share with you my experience. What you have written is so similar to what I have gone thru recently and I can really feel your pain and sense of helpless. I was also smitten by one FL even though I only get to know her for less than 2 months. During these times, I did "remarkable" and "incredible" things just to please her, just to see her smile, just that I can spend a little more time to be with her. To be honest, I even entertain some crazy ideas in order to be with her forever. This is really a drain on me, in term of time, energy and resources.

Despite knowing that there won't be any good ending, I just refuse to face it and continue plunging deeper into the relationship. That is why people say love is blind. And who is the great guy who say "it doesn't matter if it don't last, most important is that we once have it" kind of stuff. Well, in the end, all I have are bruise, injury, hurt and wounds. Worst of all, I still have to put on a brave front and smile to the whole world as if nothing has happened. These are what you are going thru right now.

Don't worry, next will be the healing phase, but this is also the most difficult phase. You will go thru a roller coaster emotion ride. At some point, you feel that you have straighten out your thoughts but a little while later, you will start to miss her and feel miserable again. My advice is dont try to deny your feeling, face it squarely. If you miss her, there is no point trying hard not to think about her, it is impossible. Go ahead and accept that you will need a little more time to overcome all this. The process may be slow and painful, but tell yourself that you will, and must, overcome it. No matter how long it takes.

Time is the best heal and I couldn't agree more. Trust me, two months of relationship, no matter how much you have fallen into it, is still a very short period of time. If you need 4 months to get over that wonderful 2 months, so be it. If you need longer time, let it be. Important is, tell yourself you will get over it.

For me, I have completely recover from that KC trap, pls allow me to use that term. And fyi, now thinking back to all those "incredible" and "remarkable" things that I have done, I felt so "ridiculous" and "silly" to have done it. And the good news is, after this episode, I feel that I am a stronger person now. I believe I won't fall into another KC trap so easily even though I must say it may happen again. I also began to enjoy more of my cheoing sessions knowing that all these flings are simply for my releasing pleasure.

I hope by sharing my experience will help you in your recovery. Good luck Bro.

[colins]

Originally Posted by Maxcock

Bro, after reading your post, I felt oligated to share with you my experience. What you have written is so similar to what I have gone thru recently and I can really feel your pain and sense of helpless. I was also smitten by one FL even though I only get to know her for less than 2 months. During these times, I did "remarkable" and "incredible" things just to please her, just to see her smile, just that I can spend a little more time to be with her. To be honest, I even entertain some crazy ideas in order to be with her forever. This is really a drain on me, in term of time, energy and resources.

Great sharing, dude. Like to hear more from you. cheerios

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Bro Slider, after reading what you've posted, I felt very compelled to say this.
Have you read my posting of my KC story before? If you have, you'll see the similarity in what you're going thru now.
I've also had the liberty to show your post to my mistress who concluded that the SOMEONE ILL reason is plain mumbo jumbo and your are wif a HIGH HAND WL who is all out to trap you BIGTIME!

This is what's gonna happen, just when you tot you send her to the airport and all will end once she leave into the departure hall, you're wrong.
This is what's gonna happen:

1)She'll prolly have a short chat wif you before she boards the plane

2)As you're driving home, you'll definitely be a leaking tap

3)When she reaches home, the moment she gets a mobile line active, SHE'LL SMS U TO CALL HER!

4)You will also fly up very soon.....within a month of her leaving

Remember, the above 4 are checklists that cannot go wrong.........if all 4 materialise, then its all but a fiasco

There are 2 kind of WLs, I believe i know which camp she belongs to.

I respect you having feelings for her and all that but we are here to TRY our very best to help bros that if we stand next to each other at the urinals in the public toilet we dun even know who's who.......isnt the virtual world great

The first kind belongs to the hit and run. They come here & make as much $$$$ as they can then they F off.........Make also equates to conning men of as much goodies and $$$ as they can let alone the charges of working as a WL

The second kind is the smarter kind...with investment in mind.....they'll KC you and make the best of the time here to secure several MONEY TREES
Once they've secured several KC victims, they'll always use some crap to leave unexpectedly, thus giving you a sense of unpreparedness and major anxiety attack...why????? Cos it's totally something that you have no time to react to and the stress on you will be higher. If you knew a date of departure well in advance, you can mentally prepare yourself for it...so they won't give u a chance to do that!
They'll then go back for quite a while, having the several KC victims to go up and visit them....all the while of cos, the victims, meaning us guys, will think he is the exclusive one......and no one will go empty handed.....thus they will still have a steady stream of income flowing in....this can last how long depending on 3 scenarios:
1) If she can manage the men is such a way of time management and lies where they all cannot even smell a rat in the doing and get played all at the same time
2) If the victim, meaning male, is sharp and very weary of all the things she says and excuses whether they make logical sense or not...they can BS you once or twice, but once they cannot be contacted, when their telco provider says no signal, means something fishy liao
3) This last way is a seasoned cheongsters way of testing them. A common prob that WL's have when having to deal wif more than 1 party.
Testing her memory of things that you 2 have said and spoken about ever so often...if she shows tendencies to forget, especially what she said, then you will know that all was just an act for the moment thus will not register in her mind liao

Once all the strings cannot sustain for reasons of suspicion, found new luv etc...all her MONEY TREES will disappear & i'll bet you then, my last dollar, SHE'LL BE BACK!

What you are going thru is expected, yes i sympathise wif you but i also warn you, it's the CLASSIC KC trap.
Now you really gotta open your eyes and listen to the bros here while you still can.
Bite the bullet and live in pain for a short while or enter another new level of the KC trap that will lead you to a world of the mother of all hurt!

Take care dude!

[slider_72]

Originally Posted by DO_YOU_BJ

1)She'll prolly have a short chat wif you before she boards the plane

2)As you're driving home, you'll definitely be a leaking tap

3)When she reaches home, the moment she gets a mobile line active, SHE'LL SMS U TO CALL HER!

4)You will also fly up very soon.....within a month of her leaving

Remember, the above 4 are checklists that cannot go wrong.........if all 4 materialise, then its all but a fiasco

Firstly, my heartfelt appreciation to all the brothers who chipped in with their words of wisdom. I will take time to reflect on them.

Bro DYBJ, your checklist is god-damn amazing. You are right on the first and second items on your checklist. As my gf left this morning and at the time I am typing this, she would have just arrived in Guangzhou. There is probably not enough time for her to get her line activated yet but before she left, she said that once she manages to get her line activated, she will sms or call me. I guess item no. 3 on your list will probably come true too.

She did say that goodbye today is not going to be forever even though I told her that in my view, the probability of us meeting again is very low. The two possibilities she suggested are (i) I can go over to visit her if I can get an off-pass from OC, or (ii) she can join a group travel to visit me in Singapore as it is easier to get a visa if she comes with a group tour.

Before I went online, I actually checked my schedule for next month to see whether I have an available slot to make a trip up to China to see her. I had actually contemplated item no. 4 on your checklist already!

I absolutely agree with you that the SOMEONE ILL reason was totally incredible. I did not believe that myself and told her straight in the face that I did not believe that was the real reason for an early departure. Her response was it was up to me whether I want to believe her or not. Well, actually I still don't believe that story. There were several theories I had on the early departure but your take on the early departure being designed to disorientate me is something which I did not think of at all.

Perhaps I am blind for I do not see in her a HIGH HAND WL. To me she is an angel whom I wish to take into my arms and care for. Maybe she is so HIGH HAND that even a seasoned old man like me got fooled. Even though she is only 20 this year, I can see that she is a very intelligent person. With great reluctance, I am unable to discount the possibility that I am a victim of the infamous KC trap.

Before I sent her to the airport, I actually told myself many times that this relationship will end at the airport departure hall. I cannot afford to have this carry on indefinitely with no conclusion in sight. Unfortunately the moment she left, I yearn to see her again.

The head knows exactly what I should do but the heart is disobeying instructions.

Hopefully by sharing my story and experience here, it would help some other brothers avoid being caught in similar situations, or at least know that there is a support group here.

[aczeta76]

Originally Posted by colins

There must be hundreds of people we say sayonara to, (as in goodbye forever) everyday. But when that person is a part of us, the pain is excruciating. You see, a person can exist physically and standing beside us, and she can also exist spiritually in your mind. To let go a person, you need to let go of both her presence, and her memory. Only until then will you feel a lot better.

But be mindful of your recovery, keep a rein on yourself as whatever happen later, you must MAINTAIN YOUR LIFE. Do not make any drastic change. You can go into the other parts of your life, like your work and family. But maintain it and do not rock the boat to create more problems. This is not going to end today becos after she left, you still need to go thru the (long-distance relationship aka)cooling down stage.
Take care bro.

Oh yeah, if you can create a clone of yourself, you've gotto make sure your clone never knew your gf.

True enuff... when my GF 1st left, I would wander around her rented apt area and walk the streets of Gl to remember the time we had together.

As time passes, feelings get weaker and your mind starts to tell u "Bo future ler" so u think of cutting strings...Only problem is whenever u make up your mind, she will sms or call you to say she miss you etc and you waver about telling her again.

After days of thinking, I remember something I once told others..."She has her own life and this will continue..WITH or WITHOUT you"... so she wun die from it.

Now my schedule in Sep quite F-up so I may travel or if I can't then I will close the chapter for good and juz ignore her calls and sms from now on ...

Quite a number of us are/were caught in the exact same situation before. The path to take is always clear to us in our minds but we hesitate to take it. For me, I would rather she "let me down" then I do this to her but before things spin further out of ctrl, I will leave it to heaven to tell me to end.

If timing cannot meet for Sep then my time with her is up.

[jnlover]

Very insightful thread... I took a day to finish reading the 24 pages but time well spent definitely.

I went stead with a China meimie working for 6 years... we're co-workers.
No doubt she's looking for a passport, but she's one of the most hardworking and nice girl I've ever met.

Well... it didn't work out but we still maintained very cordial relationship after all these years.

She came back to Singapore for business purpose twice... and we still meet up for "happy nites"

For TS... you're at the cross road now... accept her and forget about her past and enjoy the time together. Or give yourself a hard stab and end it asap... time will heal the wound and the happy memories will accompany you for the rest of your life.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

The most important thing here now is whether you want to go into total denial of everything & take the gamble.
Remember, now the tables have totally turned.
You go see her, you're in her turf & you have ZERO chances to know what she's doin there.
Not that you're in any danger or wat.
You will now be considering how to maintain this WL as your mistress.

Bro, i tell you from personal experience and also from my mistress, who's already is a PR but not a WL. She's PRC and also damn HIGH HAND! My type.

When the mind & heart doesnt sing the same thing, you are at your weakest. Been there bro, and trust me, I know how you totally feel 110%

Now, you will have to decide & sorry, there's no 2 ways about it.
1) Keep the good memories and move on! Remember, memories means HISTORY liao
2) Keep the hopes high, which is what she would be expecting you to do and continue to communicate wif her & initially you can control yourself from heading up but she already has seen through your weakness on her. She can always cook up something again for you to just fly up to console her. Then, you will totally be in her grasp liao.

Not sure if you read what my story was but i tried to be as details as possible to help those who were walking into this kinda situation.
I'm sure it wont be 100% the same but it took me seven months to finally be convinced that i had to go through very painful cold turkey & get myself back up again.

http://sammyboyforum.org.nz/matters...ml#post2839775

Cut it short and hurt a lot less.
Wanna take this gamble, be ready to really hurt.
No offense bro, you married right? Do you control your stable like mine?
If not, you better be ready to even loose everything.
That's your stake at this gamble. For your WL, she only bet her pussy on this game she's playing now.

I'm not in town now but will be back this weekend. Think we shud meet dude, that's if you wanna. PM me your number.

[Heart Break Kid]

I am sorry if I did pour some cold water to some bros here.

Do you guys know when your WL gf reaches their China airports their husband or bf will fetch them in airport & drive them home.
Most of the WL here working have husband or bf back in their hometown.

I know of some WLs who conned money & jewellery from average joe & ah seah kias here (both single & married men)
go back laughing at us they even use the money earn here to help their husband, bfs or true love back their hometown.

Hope by reading what I said ..will lesser your pain after sending to Changi Airport.