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That's very true indeed. Think long and hard before marriage. However not marrying the one you love most doesn't constitute a valid reason for abandoning a family for a new flame. Besides we would only truly know who the greatest love of our lives is at our deathbed? People change and thats a fact of life thats why theres the institution of marriage to keep people in a life long partnership: In health and in sickness, in happiness and in woe. This forum has lots of members and i wager there are definitely brothers and sisters here on a higher moral ground than we are.Not all the topics are sinful either.
Quote:
Originally Posted by porscheclub
Yes, that's why don't anyhow get married. I'm sure a lot of people out there knows that deep inside, the one they married is not the one they love most.
We're all sinful. Or wouldn't be looking @ this site
I have a friend who's mistress went up to his family's house in the dead of night, knocked on the door told the shellshocked wife then slit her wrist in front of them....
Another, has the PRC mistress here. Has a boy with her & living a double life for many years now. He has a daughter with his wife.
Why I chose to keep a mistress? Get a good fuck & find some love. I'm sure you guys know, you screw around but 100% of all the 9/10 FRs are worthless IMHO. When you're doing it with someone who put in real love, raw & the explosive orgasm can sometimes knock your brains out to empty your bank
So you're saying that a good fuck and some love is what you would trade for knowing someday the worst might happen to you and your family?
Dun get me wrong man, I totally agree with you on the love part, I just got a new FB but this time I totally regretted doing it. It really feels weird knowing you dun like the girl and is only intending to have sex with her. The aftermath is especially bad, after releasing the urge and the alcohol cleared, and she starts to dress up, you find that you have really taken advantage of her. Shit I can't imagine what kinda of thoughts were running through her mind but I'm quite sure I wouldnt be able to take it. Its worse than going for pros. Now I can only remember her asking many times if I like her (I kept quiet throughout) and she replied her own question and said, 'I know you dun, you only want sex...but I'll let you fuck me cos I like you'...among other things she said. I had many ONS before and all aftermaths were usually guilt (really shit feeling), but this time dunnoe why I felt it so strongly. Getting old and afraid of karma, I guess.
I have no gf, not married and nobody in my sight for a committed relationship at the moment. Having felt the way I described earlier, I'm very curious as to how you can easily explain your infidelity with mind blowing sex. I do not presume to judge you, I think this forum is pretty open to such relationships, but I guess people usually do feel a little for their own family or at least put out some comments to that effect. I hope you know your risk and place your family above anything else. Going GL for WL is one thing, but raging for a mistress is probably another. Thanks for the frankness though!
Haha u'd be surprised.......
Think to date only 2 that i know actually knows how to use the log...the others use the traditional method of deleting without knowing the log got all......hahaha
So you're saying that a good fuck and some love is what you would trade for knowing someday the worst might happen to you and your family?
Not really bro. Trust me, I stayed cleaned for a good 9 years & lived without sex for straight 8-10months when OC was pregnant. No issue.
But when the time comes....
I fell for the gal not because of plain sex. In fact, I told her to reduce it & rather spend quality time understanding & appreciating each other. It strengthened our relationship!
Not really bro. Trust me, I stayed cleaned for a good 9 years & lived without sex for straight 8-10months when OC was pregnant. No issue.
But when the time comes....
I fell for the gal not because of plain sex. In fact, I told her to reduce it & rather spend quality time understanding & appreciating each other. It strengthened our relationship!
No problem man, its your words against your own words anyway. I din say you only want a good fuck with a good lovey feel, I only asked if you think this is good enough to exchange your stable life for it.
But hey, I dun want to harp on it. Its silly. You're not the only one enjoying this extra-marital thing and I am already over critical on the issue. Sorry.
That's very true indeed. Think long and hard before marriage. However not marrying the one you love most doesn't constitute a valid reason for abandoning a family for a new flame. Besides we would only truly know who the greatest love of our lives is at our deathbed? People change and thats a fact of life thats why theres the institution of marriage to keep people in a life long partnership: In health and in sickness, in happiness and in woe. This forum has lots of members and i wager there are definitely brothers and sisters here on a higher moral ground than we are.Not all the topics are sinful either.
Yes, I'm a good eg. & I hope young people don't follow my footsteps. Our generation don't quite understand the meaning of marriage & simply sign on the paper. It's a great deal of responsibilities for a lifetime, not 5 or 15 yrs but 50yrs or as long as either one lives. I have probably half or a third of my friends & relatives who are divorced & one has even remarried 3x! Do they not know what they want?
The worst was a catholic friend, she got abused by husband but suffered for a good 11yrs before she threw in the towel because the religion don't allow divorce. By the time she left him, she's lost her youth, a tooth and countless bruises.
I did not say I'm abandoning my family. It's a fine line. I'm struggling to keep it and 1 heart pain (me) is better than many hearts. My gal may not be a PRC, she could jolly well be a local or even an office colleague.
I believe human nature are kind & most are forced by circumstances. Our society here has been kind & almost all if not all citizens have education to sustain a quality life. Not all PRCs or prostitutes are bad. In my younger days, I backpacked & even stayed with prostitutes for a few days, slept with one, eat with them, learn her language/culture/food. Most come from very poor family with no skills or education & this trade is the only one that they as a woman can do for the family. They are flesh & blood as well. Oh well, time has changed, now the gals want to support branded stuffs!
Anyway, thanks for all the advises and please, go ahead to hammer me. I need it.
Anyway, thanks for all the advises and please, go ahead to hammer me. I need it.
no need to hammer you becos scientists believe man was not born to be a monogamous creature, early mankind procreated freely, later on marriage and religion was insitutioned to control man's behaviour
no need to hammer you becos scientists believe man was not born to be a monogamous creature, early mankind procreated freely, later on marriage and religion was insitutioned to control man's behaviour
Anyway, thanks for all the advises and please, go ahead to hammer me. I need it.
Stumbled upon a link to an old archive write-up by the stickman; spent quite a while reading through the "novel". This quote below, imho, is very applicable for us to ponder if we ever want to marry a WL: (Just replace all mention of "bar girl" with "WL", and "Thai" with "PRC". Farang means foreigner, in this case, us.)
Quote:
I see the following as the key reasons why you should never marry a Thai bar girl (and there are many.):
- It's an inter-racial relationship. These can be tricky to start with, forgetting even that she's a bar girl.
- Most of the girls are very poorly educated. The crux of the situation is that many of these girls are NOT at all intelligent and some of them are quite simply simple country girls. You cannot have any sort of deep, meaningful or intelligent conversation with them - that's fine if this is not important to you but if it is then you have a problem. Think of the least educated folks that you have ever met or known...perhaps they speak poor English, are lazy or are just generally unpleasant - well, that is how a lot of Thai society views these girls - yep, sad but true. I have yet to meet a Thai bar girl who aspires to any sort of intellectual challenge or pursuit. It so often seems that they consider only their daily needs and little else. Would you marry a girl in your homeland with an education of no more than six years - if no, why the hell are you considering it in Thailand? Remember, this girl went from the relative isolation of a small village with few Western comforts or influences straight to the huge metropolis of Bangkok. Western comforts, values and ideas are completely new to her.
- Thai bar girls are the world's biggest liars and are very polished at it - they should be in the bloody Guinness book of records. How can you marry someone who is dishonest and that you cannot trust? During their time in the bars, a lot of these girls have heard lie after lie after lie and now they find it very hard to trust any farang so not only will you most likely find that you cannot trust them but also that they will not be able to trust you! Worse still, many have a complete lack of integrity and quite willing to sell not only their body but indeed, their soul too.
- Would you marry a girl you met in your own country in a bar and only knew for about two weeks - in some cases, less? If no, well, why do it in Thailand then?
- Do you want to support her family for the rest of your / her / their life? Family is number one to a Thai! Yes, there will be consistent requests to send money to her family and support them and maybe even half of the deadbeat no-hoper villagers. These may come in the form of direct questions or perhaps more often with sob stories "mother / father / grandmother is sick", "the buffalo died and we need a new one" or "we need a new pickup truck!" And what about that boyfriend or husband on the side that you didn't know existed! Worst of all, if you don't want to "help out" financially, then she may well start playing silly games like threatening to return to the bar. This threat will come up over and over again in other situations where her request for something that needs to be financed by you is denied... And one thing is guaranteed: The day the money runs out is 100%, the last day of the marriage!
- Do you want to pay a dowry to her family for her? While I have a reasonable understanding of why it is asked for (yet fundamentally disagree with that reason!), I find the idea abhorrent and I know that I will never ever pay a dowry to anyone! Some farangs do accept this however - it's an individual thing. Prices vary but about 50,000 baht is a fair figure for Isaan girls. Personally, I think bar girls don't command a price at all...in fact if anything, they should be paying us as it is them who will not be looked after financially. Why do we pay for the right to take them on as a financial burden? And don't think that the requests for money from the family will stop once the dowry has been paid. Stories of pain and hardship will forever filter down from the family, to the point that you no longer want to pick up the telephone, dreading the next hard luck story and you'll find yourself forever contemplating your next "sorry, I am broke too" response.
- At the end of the day, while work may not be available in the country, work most definitely *is* available in Bangkok. There are numerous jobs paying a modest salary and this goes to show that these girls have simply taken the easy way out. The idea of real work simply doesn't appeal to many of them and you can get the distinct impression that a lot of these girls are lazy. Stories that they are required to send so many thousand baht to support their family are in some cases just that, stories. At the end of the day, families from the poorer parts of Thailand can and in fact do survive on what we as Westerners would consider a meagre budget. In actual fact, only a small percentage of what is made by the girls in the bars seems to make it up to the family. Many bar girls spend whatever they have on often frivolous and unnecessary things. Such disturbing trends continue into a relationship.
- Thais, particularly the poorer Thais, are not the most adaptable people. While as foreigners we come to Thailand, most of us try and respect the culture and behave in a way which the Thais find acceptable even if it may be quite different from what we are used to. We are able to reconcile the Thai culture with that of our own. The Thais, especially the lower class (which the bar girls are) are not so good at adapting to different ways of doing things and more often than not are totally unable to comprehend the way we view things. They see the Thai way as the right way - or sometimes even the only way to do things. Therefore, the lack of Thai food, Thai people, Thai language, Thai cartoon books (!!!) etc. will drive them to boredom which can turn into frustration - and then you have problems. They may well end up spending a lot of their time with other former Thai bar girls in your country and that creates a VERY dangerous situation. Don't expect them to integrate into your foreign lifestyle easily, if at all. And some of them are downright stubborn and simply refuse to change - no som tum can make Mrs. Recently Married a very sad, upset lass.
- Are you going to tell your friends and family the truth about your wife. "Oh yeah mother, she used to be a prostitute, but what the hell, I decided to marry her!" Of course you wouldn't! If you do tell them, I admire you, I really do - but I bet you don't!. And if you can't do this, then you are just living one big lie with those people who are supposedly closest to you!
- If the girl has been working in the industry for quite a while, her whole life may be in some way intertwined with the bar scene - all of her friends work there and all of her fun is had there. I really believe that there comes a point where it gets very hard to successfully break a girl out of the scene - perhaps even, almost impossible. If any of the girl's family members have also worked in the commercial sex industry, then quite simply forget it.
- You can't mix your girls! So, you know some educated Thais back in your homeland and think that your new girlfriend / wife would like to meet them? Stop! Thais from different socio-economic groups seldom mix unless it is necessary. The rich hang out with the rich and poor with the poor - far more so than in the west. And if you do choose to socialise with Thais from different socio-economic backgrounds, your middle / upper class friends' opinion of you will plummet! (This piece of advice holds true whether you marry a bar girl or not. NEVER EVER introduce a bar girl to your decent Thai friends.) So, if you marry a Thai bar girl, you could and in fact most probably will, lose some of your existing Thai friends! And if you work in Thailand, I hope you don't work with anyone too important because they sure ain't going to be impressed by your new Mrs...scorn, lack of respect and bewilderment are likely reactions.
- Do you speak Thai? No, not that bar scene drivel you have picked up - I mean can you talk about just about anything in Thai? No, I bet you can't! Well, she is going to take a long time (my two favourite words a couple of years ago) to learn English to a reasonable level due to all of English's peculiarities and complexities. Trust me, that "I love you darling", "you buy cola" and "I boom boom good na" are about the limit of her English skills. Communication is therefore going to be difficult for a long time (the two magic words again!). Further, as deceitful as it sounds, you *need* to speak Thai, even if her English is pretty good, because some of these girls say some really awful things about guys they are with and you need to be able to eliminate that sort of nonsense carry on.
- Money burns a hole in their pocket. It really doesn't matter how much money you give / allow for them, they manage to get rid of it either through spending, gambling or even giving it away! The idea of saving for the future seldom comes into their way of thinking...
- Once she has left the bar, what is she going to do? A lot of these girls develop bad habits and can become very lazy. Do you want her just sitting around the house all do watching TV?
- At the end of the day, these girls are prostitutes and they simply just have a different way of operating from prostitutes in the West and they give you the illusion of temporarily being your girlfriend.
- You are a farang in a relationship with an ex bar girl. The expectation of the girl's friends and peers is that you will look after her better than the equivalent Thai man would and shower her with gifts, gold and money. Therefore, if you just treat her averagely, she will essentially lose face because her "rich farang boyfriend" is not spending his enormous wealth on her, but on other things....you can't win! And whether you are wealthy or not, uneducated Thais see all farangs as wealthy - because compared to them we most likely are.
- If you take her back to your home country, she will embarrass you like you have never been embarrassed before. She'll be like a mixture of a new grown up daughter assuming the obligatory 20+ year age gap and a new dog who has to be house trained.
- And you! Can you be faithful? You met her in a bar but I met you met lots of other girls too...maybe 10, maybe 50, maybe even more. Can you remain faithful to her? Too many folks that marry bar girls to do not give the girl the respect that she deserves as their wife and justify their extra marital activities as "only cheating on a bar girl" - not good! Are you truly prepared to forget that she was ever a bar girl? While I do not want to take the moral high ground, I have always felt that if you can't be faithful, maybe marriage is not a good idea...
:
:
The road to a long term relationship with a bar girl is fraught with all sorts of complications. It will be an extremely rocky road but it CAN work. (- in my opinion, about 5% of cases.) Having said that, it would be better to get a girl without the emotional baggage that a stint in the bars leaves them with and preferably a girl who grew up in one of the centres as opposed to the countryside. If you go down this path, prepare for the worst - but know that maybe, just maybe, it may work!
Oh well, ok, maybe PRC and Sg chinese are all of the same "race", so some points above don't apply
Still, I found a few new perspectives above not commonly mentioned in this forum.
The statement that resonate most with me is "if you can't be faithful, maybe marriage is not a good idea... "
I started this place so that people could exchange info about COMMERCIAL SEX!
It has ended up as some sort of "Agony Aunt" column.
Can't you guys just fuck those broads and be done with it??? How on earth does love come into the the picture for chrissake?????
Good one BOSS! Now adays so many young boys sia school holiday ah, saw another lame thread asking water kill HIV ... why so many stupid wtf qns posted now a days!
interesting post u have. and YES, there are a lot of similarities
haiz.. sometimes, I oso have to pretend not to think to much else... like my GF fav comment when I talk about anything serious..."Wo tou Tong.. Bie Shuo Le, Wo Men Zuo Ai ba"
"Dun say anymore, I am getting headache... let's go make love"
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Its pretty scary to look at divorce statistics in SG. Like most developed places in the world the divorce rate in SG is ever increasing. From my observations of the people around me I seem to find this trend that some people who have the aptitude for marriage seem to avoid it while many without the aptitude seem to get married. The logic of this eludes me. People get married for so many wrong reasons these days and many do it just for the sake of getting married. Marriage has degenerated into this very material partnership contract. It's just not sacred anymore.
We men are just too greedy at times. Like you said sex with feelings is so much more intense. I definitely agree. Seems to me though that you had that before and you kinda miss it so you took the initiative and reclaimed that which you lost. I'm not hammering you or PRCs or WLs. Im a patron of WLs, not some paragon of virtue smiting you with some holier than thou morality lessons. The question me and Colin are asking you is: " Is the fleeting moment of bliss worth it?" I would like to ask another question: "How certain are you that its real?". When you say you're not abandoning your family and struggling to keep it, I see it being a situation where a sailor punches holes in his own ship and tries hard to plug the holes with his fingers. Then again its your life and the ball in in your court, so best of luck to your family.
Quote:
Originally Posted by porscheclub
Yes, I'm a good eg. & I hope young people don't follow my footsteps. Our generation don't quite understand the meaning of marriage & simply sign on the paper. It's a great deal of responsibilities for a lifetime, not 5 or 15 yrs but 50yrs or as long as either one lives. I have probably half or a third of my friends & relatives who are divorced & one has even remarried 3x! Do they not know what they want?
The worst was a catholic friend, she got abused by husband but suffered for a good 11yrs before she threw in the towel because the religion don't allow divorce. By the time she left him, she's lost her youth, a tooth and countless bruises.
I did not say I'm abandoning my family. It's a fine line. I'm struggling to keep it and 1 heart pain (me) is better than many hearts. My gal may not be a PRC, she could jolly well be a local or even an office colleague.
I believe human nature are kind & most are forced by circumstances. Our society here has been kind & almost all if not all citizens have education to sustain a quality life. Not all PRCs or prostitutes are bad. In my younger days, I backpacked & even stayed with prostitutes for a few days, slept with one, eat with them, learn her language/culture/food. Most come from very poor family with no skills or education & this trade is the only one that they as a woman can do for the family. They are flesh & blood as well. Oh well, time has changed, now the gals want to support branded stuffs!
Anyway, thanks for all the advises and please, go ahead to hammer me. I need it.
Good one BOSS! Now adays so many young boys sia school holiday ah, saw another lame thread asking water kill HIV ... why so many stupid wtf qns posted now a days!
Boss has forgotten that the people using this forum are not animals who just "fuck and go" all the time. Human beings have egos. Ironically, our higher IQ is our curse. Our capacity for complex emotions makes us vulnerable!
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If you want to zap me annonymously, go ahead. But please save your comments. If you do not have the balls to leave your nick, then I don't really care what you have to say.
Good one BOSS! Now adays so many young boys sia school holiday ah, saw another lame thread asking water kill HIV ... why so many stupid wtf qns posted now a days!
hhmmmm... bootlicker.. perhaps I should zap you
__________________
returning favors for ups.. slowly.
If i have not rtn your up, please pm me. The CP page may have been refreshed and i can no longer see your details
20-05-2008, 03:22 PM
Re: Is there true love between us and PRC WL
