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#61
03-08-2008, 03:19 AM
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Re: Tears For A PRC Prostitute
Hi
First of all, sorry for sounding hostile hoh bro, what i'm posting here may not be 'nice to hear' ... what the hell is wrong with this thread is what i'm thinking. I just finished reading. You stopped ur story suddenly. (at the part where u said u're too busy to continue the story, and then announced that it ended in the next post, with a loose explaination about an argument) 'AN ARGUMENT' for god sake. After reading all, I have a thought in mind. Are you trying to 'TOY' a PRC girl ? (PRC girl, who in ur story here, seems like a poor soul) AND in the whole story, seems like the person who lose out much much more than u. It seems like u're a very suspicious person about the girl u like. (just becoz she's a WL) (*NOTE. just like many of u guys said. WL are ALSO HUMAN. SO WHY KEEP TESTING?!) 1 - U kept testing her and testing and testing her. 2 - gave her 2nd hand phone and a cheap camcorder (actually just for ur fantasies right ..) * I WOULD NEVER GIVE 2nd HAND STUFF TO SOMEONE I LIKE. talk about sincerity (ok ok .. maybe this is just me) 3 - took face videos PARTLY with intention of blackmail her IF something went wrong In the end what happened ? she conned u ? or what ? u never mention. ACCORDING to the posts, it just ended with a quarrel of some sort. She already give out so much to u. TO A GIRL, what she offers here is 10 times more than a guy (YOU) hav offered. ---------------------- BTW, at a point in ur story. you said : 'I chose to believe she is a damn old bird (lao jiao) and being a pretty old bird, I CRIED WITH HER - without saying more. Then next, u said : 'I believe that was one turning point in the trust she had in me (if she does like me).' OK. what do u mean actually ? sounds very contradicting. sounds weird you u trust her ? or do u NOT ? ---------------------- OK OK I may not know the full story (those extra infos maybe u don't wanna say) but i'm just posting from what i leaRNT from what u TYPED in this thread, after u announced it all ended. (and that u're too busy to continue) seems like this should be tited 'how a singapore man tests a Prc girl' where's the love involved ? where's the romance involved ? your story doesn't justified any. but only those 'TESTS' that u may be so pround to show to readers. And I still see readers posting encouraging things and stuffs I doubt some of these people even read the whole thread fully AND THINK before posting. like newbies who just wanna generate some 'posts' like they always said posting nice and goodwill posts regardlessly never gets you zapped. ---------------------- paiseh ah maybe i shouldn't hav typed all these. but i just feel kind of pissed now reading these. anyway story has ended. no point continuing liao. 
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#62
03-08-2008, 06:51 AM
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Re: Tears For A PRC Prostitute
Quote:
Also, i believe that you will help keep our correspondance (via PM) between us and i have quite a lot of details about her when i PMed you. I read through all your previous posts back then and decided that you are a pretty good natured guy and once again thanks for your input as knowing someone who has been thro this giving me the advice really helped. By the way how old are you cos you mentioned you are old? 
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#63
03-08-2008, 07:07 AM
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Re: Tears For A PRC Prostitute
Quote:
For the handphone, its not second hand. haha i think its due to the way i structured my sentence: What i wrote: "The handphone is practical as hers is over 1 year old and the screen is scratched (though still useable) and the camcorder (a relatively cheap one), i told her its to record memories of us together. I told her no matter what becomes of us, i will never forget her this lifetime (to me its becos its my first time in "love" with a WL)." I meant to say buying her a handphone is practical (something she needs) even though her current one is over 1 year old and scratched - but still usable. For the part of toying with PRC WL, honestly its could be due to my emphasis on testing her and such but for me, im someone who fall into a relationship - will be really serious type and money aside (its our job to spend on them), emotions - once you fall for someone, it can be very terrible if things end up bitter. As to why i keep testing her its becos i have heard so many stories of WL conning SG men and not only that, during the time i spent with her friends (also WL), all their conversations are peppered with tricks to get money and how stupid we singaporean guys are (yes they talked about all this in my presence). For the taking of videos - honestly logically speaking - YES i acknowledge that it CAN be a something you use to blackmail someone BUT i wont and i havent. For me, for my last 3 girlfriends - we have taken photos and videos of ourselves (consensual on both ends) for our own private viewing pleasure. And after the relationships ended (the first one ditched me for another man) while i initiate the break ups with the other 2, i have never shown the videos to anyone else or blackmail anyone. And for all the contradictions - yes its all there. During the entire r/s, its always: 1: I want to trust her, but im scared 2. I like her, does she like me? 3. She tells me she knows im serious about her, but i have to accept the fact that shes working - contradiction again 4. She wants me to know her friends - and they all spoke frankly about how to cheat SG guys in front of me - yes i appreciate the honestly (brutal in fact!) - but that has a denting effect on the trust i have in her. pls understand
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#64
03-08-2008, 07:47 AM
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Re: Tears For A PRC Prostitute
i met up with her last night and spent the night there - again.
And she did something that touched me. When i arrived in her room, she passed me a stack of cash - $7000 she said. "What the?..." i thought. "I thought you might need it for your biz cashflow" Previously she has helped me, (i have returned her the money as i have taken it for a few weeks to test her). And honestly when i said i need it - i did. But i didnt want her help for this - wanna test her. There she was - back again - with more. Its crazy - i was really really touched. Nope i dun need it. She pushed it into my bag. I kept quiet - only to return it by putting it into her drawer when she fell asleep that night. And no sex - cos no mood. I started this relationship pretty much becos i was very attracted to her good looks and curious about how it was like to date a WL. Yes - a bastard in the context that marriage was something i believed would not really be an end point. I justified it by telling myself shes just taking me for another SG carrot head. Of course i have no rights - but i did it already and now im convinced shes really serious about me. And i do feel bad. That night i really couldnt sleep - just looking at her while she slept. Yes a babe - like any ordinary girl except for her job. And i recalled our earlier conversations about her work during our r/s.... "If you dun mind me asking - of all jobs - why this?" i made an effort to ask this blunt question less the possible words that she could mistake as "me insulting her". Expecting answers like "my family's damn poor, siblings sick or need to go to school" She said " Easy money - and my family's doing pretty ok in china" "WTF?" i was shocked. As she had high school education in china (not a btc or farmgirl as she comes from the city). "My family running a small business and since young, i have never experienced hardship" "But my family cant afford the luxury stuff - LV prada Gucci etc" "I simply wanted them - and my friends were in it - i thought why not? Instead of giving your bf free - why not make money out of it?" It was brutally frank. I said - "Really appreciate your frankness - brutal frankness in fact". These were the exact words i used. "Have you thought of stopping?" "Yeah - when i saved enough" It was then i realised that she had barely enough savings (shes said she has only 500k RMB) after working for 6 years! Of course, converting it to $100k SGD - it seems like a lot of money but consider that as a percentage of what she had earned she had blew lotsa money on her luxury needs. "How much more you need to stop?" "another 500k RMB more and i can stop" "Ok" This conversation was one that we had in the earlier part. I remembered this very clearly as i was telling myself - if i were to marry her - she has to stop - and here this is - a stopping point she set for herself. I know all this sound very contradictory as i have mentioned earlier that before i start the relationship - i believe i would not marry her. But when i sink into it, thoughts of us walking down the aisle keep popping up every now and then - though i try to dismiss it. - Another conversation which was one of the earliest quarrels we had - She was dressing up and putting make up in the room while chatting with her friend over the phone. And seemingly like any other girls who love to doll up, she spends at least 1.5hrs putting her make up - redoing and redoing it over and over again. That day - that moment, in the early days of our relationships where things were so lovey dovey, it really pains me to see her like that. I mean what the fuck - she doesnt enjoy her job and we are in a relationship, here i am in the room seeing her happily putting on her make up - honestly speaking - to attract guys to pay to fuck her and asking me which dress she looks nice in (all sexy outfits showing her C-cup cleavage). Note: She has never asked me the same question ever since. I shot back meaning " want me to teach you how to suck your clients' dicks and moan to make them cum faster?"(i used the words chui xiao, play the flute in mandarin) Hell was i mean (and till this day i regretted saying that) but honestly if it were a non-working WL, i dun mind my gf dressing A BIT sexily but here i am - asked to give her comments on her clothings - with the purpose of attracting guys to fuck her. Ok, i know she didnt mean it that way but i took it that way - from that perspective - i was wrong - very fucking wrong. But logically speaking - it's the truth. And i can tell you that pain is fucking painful when you feel for your girlfriend. She teared beos of that. "When the fuck can you stop working? i have a decent income and even if you dun work, you wont starve and we would have a decent life in sg" - Silence - - A very long silence - I dunno what she was thinking but for me, during that period of silence - time seemed to have froze and it really felt like eternity to me as i also wondered why i blurted that - must be becos i really like her deep inside. And i was quite ashamed to say that as she was having a much higher income than me, leading a better lifestyle while i - as a man - asked her to settle to lesser - in the name of love so that i feel better (i do believe she would feel better doing that). She broke the silence: " Let me tell you very very very very honestly. You are not the first guy whom i have as a bf i met during the course of my work. Past experience tells me that its better for BOTH of us to continue with what we are doing before we met each other." Reason: When she did stop work for her earlier ex-bfs, nothing worked out eventually for her and she felts its unfair for her. Reason? Yes, on moral grounds she shldnt be doing this but as a human in this realistic and practical society, she has tasted how easy it is to make money in this line and cant turn back (unless i offer her marriage which i didnt). And not only that, with her education, she cannot find a good paying job in china matching her income. She told me this:"Dun offer me marriage, as its too early to tell. And there is NO NEED TO GIVE ME MONEY as i will earn my own keep. This is fair to you - and to be fair to me - let me continue what im doing as im no longer young. After making what i have set out to, i will stop. And you knew i was into this line as that was how we met. To me - its fair". I kept quiet. And went to the living room to smoke alone. Ok - i have nothing to say - i mean as a guy - i know its becos of my lack of financial capabilities that i cant get her to stop working. And as a very tactful girl - she has expressed her views and the FACTS to me in a very subtle and tactful way. That night - i apologised and thanks her for putting it so tactfully, in fact i told her its becos of my financial constraints that i couldnt get her to stop her work. And i asked her if she would believe that i really like her but can actually condone her work as a BF. "Dun teach me how to tell if a guy truly likes me or not, during my course of work - i have already mastered the art of differentiating the serious from those who are out to fool around with me" "I really like you - and i truly believe you like me too" she whispered. And fuck - this feeling of being a man but unable to stop the woman i like from going out to the streets to get fucked by other men for money is fucking horrible. To the extent of driving me mad. And she has another 1 year plus in singapore before she goes home. does it mean i have to go thro this crazy shit every day she works? I can tell you this feeling gets worse and worse - especially when im staying in her place almost everyday. Not only it sucks - it SUCK TO THE CORE!
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#65
03-08-2008, 08:16 AM
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Re: Tears For A PRC Prostitute
Once upon a time not too long ago while being confused (being with my WL girlfriend), i decided to search sammyboy for all the stories of WL conning SG boys - and trust me, i was so obessed with this that i actually used an Excel to calculate the statistical distribution of the stories here on this issue.
But before long - i didnt have to input any more data and almost all the stories here have sad endings. that was certainly NOT promising. Of course - it could be becos those with success stories didnt put their stories here - i mean, which man happily married with their PRC WLs would tell his friends about it - they prolly would prefer to keep it hush hush. And people who feel bitter being cheated tend to go out and talk. (No offenses to those cheated). A classic case of " 好事不出门，坏事传千里" Mandarin provert meaning: A good deed stays indoor while a bad news travels a thousand miles I PMed a few bros here in SBF who mentioned they have relationships with PRC WLs before (thanks a lot once again collins if you are reading this!). Yes they gave solid advice but very honestly - i felt much better but i still felt powerless to deal with the situation. It was until i met so many of her friends (PRC WLs) that i realised: 1. There are MANY SG guys who marry PRC WLs and contrary to conventional wisdom, these are not the typical coffeeshop uncles who are old and lonely and many believe. Generally from what i observed: a. The young (20+ to early 30+) PRC FLs DO HAVE a happy marriage with white collar SG guys in their 40s and even early 50s. Generally these girls are not that pretty while the guys tend to have stable career (comes with age i guess), driving in a jap sedan with their 4/5 rooms HDBs and happily married with kids! My gf even bought me for gatherings in their houses many many times! These guys tend to be introvert (my personal opinion) and they are loving married couples. b. The older WLs (late 30s to 40s) are hitched up with blue collar SG guys and they too lead a blissful marriage with the wives helping out in coffeeshops and blessed with kids. They may not live a luxurious lifestyle but i can tell they are happy - very happy. Met up with quite a lot of couples and i can tell you - the ex-WLs totally quit their jobs and work 16-hours shifts to supplement the family income. c. The old uncles - really sad to say - got cheated - over and again - many of their hard-earned CFP money. This is a really bad situation. Even among my gf's friends, these PRC WLs are joking at how much these old guys are being ripped off and they joked about how Chinese WLs cause all the troubles (ripping old man off) in singapore as compared to those malaysians WL, Thai WLs and Viet WLs who tended to be less greedy and less "gan". They even joked that they ARE THE REASON WHY THE SINGAPORE GOVERNMENT RAISED THE CPF AGE! Its becos the chinese girls are sending them back to china to help boost their national economy! I almost fell my chair when i first heard this. 2. Very sad to say - im not sure if SBF bros reading this will believe me - there are many many WL-killers among us reading this now. ALL my gf's friends have told me stories and stories of how guys (young ones from their early 20s to late 40s) have promised to marry them, only to find out in the end that all these cheap guys wanted are FREE SEX! To them, yes they acknowledged that there are bad sheeps among them, but they too are victims of such fuckers trying their luck. To bros here, im not exposing anyone, for there could be some of you who have your opinion that im cheating and fucking around with my current WL PRC GF, but before you click on that pop-up box to zap me for this, please gimme a chance to paint my full side of the story. thanks! :P 3. Many of the girls - about 20% of them (applicable to those who are on a 1 year pass at least). They ARE LOOKING for a serious relationship - meaning one that they can settle down and marry a man. Reason? Singapore is the only independent country apart from China in the world that has a chinese majority population (to bros who think Taiwan should be independent, im sorry to say im a supporter of the One-China Policy and this is a sex forum, not a political one, so i feel no one should zap me for this? :P) And to most of them (almost 99%) who can only speak mandarin, Singapore is probably the only World Class City where they can roam the streets armed with the ability to speak only mandarin. (Ok, once again im not PRO-govt when i said world class city, but this was what they said. To most of them, Singapore is a world class city. No zapping pls i hope. :P) Many of these girls also dun enjoy their jobs (but its their only surest and fastest way to accumulate wealth) and they definitely see settling in Singapore as a passport to better life. Ok yes, their main intention is for a better life, some might argue with this intention, how can we know if they really like us, or the "passport"? To me, this is a realistic and practical world and we cannot separate money from love. Everyone including myself is working towards a better life. And unless we grow up in their environment - we would never know how its like and why they feel that way.
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#66
03-08-2008, 10:23 AM
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Re: Tears For A PRC Prostitute
@ bro lovemachine,
Thanks for filling in the gap to let us deeper into the story. I felt to cut short there're a few things you need to consider carefully. 1. Can you accept her past as WL? Cos you were fustrated over incident of her dolling up for work and all that. This type of thing if you cannot sincerely accept (not forgive ok, cos she is not wrong) next time when she marries you and during quarrel/bad mood you might bring up her past. And it is the surest way to kill a relationship. 2. She will still continue to like luxuries goods if she choose to be with you eventually, but on what level of spending we dun know. So can you still afford.. say a LV bag on birthday, some $100 dresses during weekend shopping? Sort of the like of spending power for an average executive single career woman. 3. Can she accept low pay hard work job in future? given her lower education. I am sorry to sound offensive in this area but she had put aside her diginity and pride in favor of easy money, with the fact that her family is doing well and does not need her to be in this line. And this type of easy money is VERY ADDICTIVE. However your tots and decision, I hope you will understand that it takes alot of patient, love, hope and trust to pull thru this relationship to any happy ending. For all you know the day you invite a friend to your wedding, the friend might have been her customer in the past. I feel if you are serious about considering her as a life long partner, you need to spent time alone weighing the pros and cons, digging out your hearts for sincere feelings. Then sit down and discuss with her, reconsile and see if her tots and feeling are "in-line" with yours for the benefit of this relationship. Otherwise, it is better to move on. Remember bro, ultimately in life, you have to take care of your own interest first.
__________________
Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. ~Barnett R. Brickner Retired Samster
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#67
03-08-2008, 11:16 AM
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Re: Tears For A PRC Prostitute
Quote:
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#68
03-08-2008, 12:35 PM
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Re: Tears For A PRC Prostitute
lovemachine,
I have been following this thread since the first day you posted the thread here. From the way she treats you, I believe that you can 80% confirmed is pure love and 20% for the "PASSPORT". Always remember the 20% factor because "STATISTICS" will not lie and "LOVE" can be manipulated. MrVirtual
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#69
03-08-2008, 07:59 PM
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Re: Tears For A PRC Prostitute
Hi lovemachine
thanks for feeling in the gap ! despite u being busy now. now THAT makes me feel like an asshole lOL I apologised for the previous unfriendiness.(I could put it in a more friendly way) ------------- Regarding the brutal frankness she told u in post #65 It must be damn painful. if i were u, I be very careful about decisions right now. To me,love is one thing. and whether or not it will last and you can really live with the person and accept what she is (for life), is ANOTHER thing. that's what marriage means. (at least to me) You need to be really clear on what sort of person she is deep down and then be honest with urself. - can u accept it the way her pesonality is now for the rest of your life if u 2 ended up together. - can u accept along with all the future stress of a r/s with a EX-WL like other bros mentioned here. *she likes u now doesn't means she wont run away one day. what you are right now, is what makes she likes u. if one day, things gets sour, and ur attitude todays the r/s changes, she may leave u. anyway right now, i believe is not a question of 'SHE LIKE U OR NOT' liao. well i'm sure we all believe that 80% is true feelings. Now is decision time. can you go ahead with this r/s in the name of love. THIS IS FCKING TOUGH BRO. I also dunno how to say superb stuff to help u much. all i know is give minimal advice lah. cannot help you on ur decision. but decide without any reGRET ! then god may just help u along the way lOL pss. sometimes we think and measure too complicatedly. and in fact, things are quite simple in real life. before u knew it, things are smooth sailing with little problems. or it could be the other way round. think just enough (not too much) n decide wisely with both ur brain and ur heart. and decide without regret. at least u in the end no regret ------------ thanks for ur extremely good info on post #66 good luck to u !
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#70
03-08-2008, 09:31 PM
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Re: Tears For A PRC Prostitute
Quote:
Ironically, I've never experienced more comfort in my life when we were together at that point of time, despite knowing that she has to go and we may not have a future. I guess perhaps every guy who fall for their prc girl do somehow have a level of security when they are with their girl, that feeling must have sustained them through all the constant barrage of negative practicality knowing there is little future. We can't live life with no memories, so if it hurts everytime to remember, either we have to change our social life or we change our thinking entirely. The alternative is to hang onto that security for as long as we can or delude ourselves into thinking that the future will be a happy one. I guess at the end of it, as it was for me, the choice to stay with her or not will always be a selfish one. You have to think for yourself first. Not becos you are that selfish bastard who wanted free sex, but becos part of your choice include the possibility that if you love her, you might have to set her free. She must continue her path she set for herself, having you is a load. I was an opposing choice to my ex cos she has to have a career, she has to do what she promised herself to do. When she said I will come and find you when I have earned enough to put my mum in a new apartment, I realised that a girl like she can think so far, where I am just thinking of what I can see in short term. And that we must continue to lead separate lives to achieve what we want. How that will reconcile things is up to you. What you learnt from this relationship is more important than what you would get from it. Just make sure it doesn't turn you into someone bitter or a prc hater. I'm in early thirties, but I guess living in china sort of wring a lot out from me.
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#71
03-08-2008, 10:09 PM
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Re: Tears For A PRC Prostitute
Quote:
__________________
Every man dies, but not every man truly lives - Braveheart
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#72
03-08-2008, 10:13 PM
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Re: Tears For A PRC Prostitute
Quote:
__________________
Those who have added or deducted my points, please leave a name? Up list queue: PS3SG,MelbSJ, etc Note to those who increased my points: I'll increase your points in return if you have any latest posts but you need to msg me your latest post, but that would take time as I may not log on everyday.
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#73
03-08-2008, 10:29 PM
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Re: Tears For A PRC Prostitute
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How many pple will you actually meet in your life? hundreds or thousands? How many will you actually know? hundreds by name? How many will you actually love? ten or twenty or fewer? Mathematically, what's the odds? I believe in ESP too. That is if you really really really wanna meet someone and u wanna it bad enough, your faith and will power will arrange a "coincidence" meeting
__________________
Every man dies, but not every man truly lives - Braveheart
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#74
03-08-2008, 10:40 PM
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Re: Tears For A PRC Prostitute
Quote:
Thanks for your answer
__________________
Those who have added or deducted my points, please leave a name? Up list queue: PS3SG,MelbSJ, etc Note to those who increased my points: I'll increase your points in return if you have any latest posts but you need to msg me your latest post, but that would take time as I may not log on everyday.
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#75
03-08-2008, 11:50 PM
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Re: Tears For A PRC Prostitute
yah people meet for a reason
not just those mentioned it can be - retribution - pass life karma lOL - or simply just bad luck on the negative side lah paiseh bro not mean to make it sounds bad haha but this is more reality way to put it. life is not an unburstable bubble anyway TS, good luck.
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