[minamushi]

As I am typing this, I feel like I am typing to myself too because most of what you have shared, I resonate with.

Firstly, like what the previous post said, stop overthinking too much and take things easy. Relationship should be fun and lighthearted at the start.

Secondly, No one should tell you who should be your partner or not but rather, ask yourself what do you want in your partner. You know yourself best and sometimes you just to have be real with yourself and ask "am I clinging to this girl because I like her or she fills up my loneliness"

Thirdly, sex can seem like a good coping mechanism for our hurts, but essentially we are still running away and not face them via talking to someone about it or therapy.

It is good that you are self aware, now you got to work on those events that scarred you.