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There's nothing wrong with pleasuring oneself, I mean as men part of growing up is wanking to different women and for many it stays through out adult life even till old age. This is just the biological makeup.
An emotionally mature man will not allow his lust to overtake his good sense or be bound by his emotions. Eg if you're in a tense business meeting with some tempers flaring, an emotionally mature person will seek to take a breather and meet later when all the parties have cooler heads. Similarly an emotionally mature man will evaluate calmly if the cost of coitus is worth the risk of losing a friend or in worse situations; losing one's reputation.
I wager it may be difficult for men whose social circles are mostly composed of other men. Its much easier if you've more interaction with women, you'll sort of become desensitized to it. Also its much more clear cut for the ladies because once you've been friend-zoned it typically means you're really just a bro to them.
So if you say it's nothing wrong to wank, then following your reasoning, it should also be nothing wrong for a brother or a son to masturbate thinking of his sister or mother, respectively.
The common ground that we share is, men are bound to have lust. If he cannot help having that lust for that female friend, then so be it. He cannot will himself to not have that lust, it's already in him. If you say he can still maintain a platonic rltnship with that female friend, it's an inner battle within the man, because he's fighting with the lust and the maintainance of the rltnship as platonic. On one hand, he masturbates thinking of her at home, on the other hand, everyday when he sees her, he has to pretend to be a gentleman without having lust for her and treat her as a sis. In this scenario, man is unable to have platonic rltnship with a female friend.
I think there is always a fine line, that everyone will be tempted to cross. Lust is a very powerful emotion, and if given the right trigger, it will naturally flow, like all things. Such is the fear, such is the flirtatious temptations
I'm enjoying the ambiguous relationship with a gal, and wish to just stay as it is as I have gf but would like some female buddy to talk to. However the gal many time dropped me hints to confess herself, also hinted me to confess too even though she knows I not only married, but have a gf. She seems to be suffering, and I don't wish to lose her as my buddy. Anyone experience such case?
I'm enjoying the ambiguous relationship with a gal, and wish to just stay as it is as I have gf but would like some female buddy to talk to. However the gal many time dropped me hints to confess herself, also hinted me to confess too even though she knows I not only married, but have a gf. She seems to be suffering, and I don't wish to lose her as my buddy. Anyone experience such case?
then why u hesitating? scared of what? go for the sex la
So if you say it's nothing wrong to wank, then following your reasoning, it should also be nothing wrong for a brother or a son to masturbate thinking of his sister or mother, respectively.
The common ground that we share is, men are bound to have lust. If he cannot help having that lust for that female friend, then so be it. He cannot will himself to not have that lust, it's already in him. If you say he can still maintain a platonic rltnship with that female friend, it's an inner battle within the man, because he's fighting with the lust and the maintainance of the rltnship as platonic. On one hand, he masturbates thinking of her at home, on the other hand, everyday when he sees her, he has to pretend to be a gentleman without having lust for her and treat her as a sis. In this scenario, man is unable to have platonic rltnship with a female friend.
haha what u said does describe the struggle most men feel very well. not easy to be a man and even harder to be a gentleman.
Already have that as business transaction. But I cannot love two person at one time, although i like her.
If I understand correctly, u've slept with her? If yes, it will be near impossible to maintain a platonic relationship. One unwritten rule is never sleep with ur `friend' as women are emotional creatures and will link that action with the next stage.
If I understand correctly, u've slept with her? If yes, it will be near impossible to maintain a platonic relationship. One unwritten rule is never sleep with ur `friend' as women are emotional creatures and will link that action with the next stage.
She is a wl. But we can talk very personal matters so I treat it as bro/sis relationship on top of the client relationship
She is a wl. But we can talk very personal matters so I treat it as bro/sis relationship on top of the client relationship
Hmmmm....like I say, it's difficult to maintain a platonic relationship once u sleep with a person.......wl or not. It started as a business transaction...and now in ur mind, she is ur friend....but do u think she thinks likewise? WLs exlcude their real emotions when doing their job....but once u involve them personally, their perspective of the relationship, likewise, will probably move to the other end of the spectrum.
Personally, I find the relationship will be hard to sustain as platonic as the other party probably will want more at the end of the day.
Hmmmm....like I say, it's difficult to maintain a platonic relationship once u sleep with a person.......wl or not. It started as a business transaction...and now in ur mind, she is ur friend....but do u think she thinks likewise? WLs exlcude their real emotions when doing their job....but once u involve them personally, their perspective of the relationship, likewise, will probably move to the other end of the spectrum.
Personally, I find the relationship will be hard to sustain as platonic as the other party probably will want more at the end of the day.
You maybe right, that y I keep a distance between my ex, even though we not even kiss in the past
You maybe right, that y I keep a distance between my ex, even though we not even kiss in the past
Personally, it's easier to maintain a platonic relationships when the opposite party have their own stable relationship, thus, they are not `hunting' for one
Anyway, be happy with what u've and if things doesn't turn out the way u expect....just move on; though it's easier said than done
I think there is always a fine line, that everyone will be tempted to cross. Lust is a very powerful emotion, and if given the right trigger, it will naturally flow, like all things. Such is the fear, such is the flirtatious temptations
lust from both sides it will be like wildfire, both cannot keep their hands to themselves. lust from 1 side only often makes the other person feel uncomfortable. once they suspect its not platonic, the friendship becomes awkward. its such a shame that it just not possible to continue as before.
There's nothing wrong with pleasuring oneself, I mean as men part of growing up is wanking to different women and for many it stays through out adult life even till old age. This is just the biological makeup.
An emotionally mature man will not allow his lust to overtake his good sense or be bound by his emotions. Eg if you're in a tense business meeting with some tempers flaring, an emotionally mature person will seek to take a breather and meet later when all the parties have cooler heads. Similarly an emotionally mature man will evaluate calmly if the cost of coitus is worth the risk of losing a friend or in worse situations; losing one's reputation.
I wager it may be difficult for men whose social circles are mostly composed of other men. Its much easier if you've more interaction with women, you'll sort of become desensitized to it. Also its much more clear cut for the ladies because once you've been friend-zoned it typically means you're really just a bro to them.
If the man has been pleasuring himself with the idea of that woman. He is suppressing his feelings cos he has maturity, knows that its wrong, affects his reputation etc. By given a chance to turn it non platonic i would guess that the man will likely seize the opportunity, think about consequences later.
thanks everyone contributing to this discussion. after reading all the replies, i start to wonder if they are quite good friends, would the man risk losing the friendship to make an attempt?
Well bro I dun understand why you equate masturbation to near incest tendencies as those are 2 different things, but since you're on that let's talk about it.
Typically in humans, we have kin detection mechanisms that help us prevent incest so I don't think most normal healthy people wank to their family members right? Is it right or wrong that a psychotic patient is yelling at you?
Life is a struggle my friend, that why we have moral codes and laws. We are judged on actions not thoughts. Don't you experience times where you feel like strangling someone irritating? So do we judge one guilty of grevious assault for thinking about strangling a person?
Anyway the term "platonic" is already problematic as its mostly mistaken and misused by most people. It comes from Plato's symposium where the spirit of the text essentially means friendship of the mind is the highest ideal. Plato and Socrates did not mean to exclude sexuality altogether from this ideal. They just condemned the kind of erotic love that keeps two people obsessed with sex , to the point of neglecting those higher ideas, pursuits, etc, but they did not quite say that the ideal love is totally nonsexual.
And my friend , the fact that I cannot write piano concertos doesn't mean nobody else can because Mozart did it at 5.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kraam
So if you say it's nothing wrong to wank, then following your reasoning, it should also be nothing wrong for a brother or a son to masturbate thinking of his sister or mother, respectively.
The common ground that we share is, men are bound to have lust. If he cannot help having that lust for that female friend, then so be it. He cannot will himself to not have that lust, it's already in him. If you say he can still maintain a platonic rltnship with that female friend, it's an inner battle within the man, because he's fighting with the lust and the maintainance of the rltnship as platonic. On one hand, he masturbates thinking of her at home, on the other hand, everyday when he sees her, he has to pretend to be a gentleman without having lust for her and treat her as a sis. In this scenario, man is unable to have platonic rltnship with a female friend.
10-04-2015, 12:13 PM
