Bangkok Chiong Scene / Massage / AGoGo / Clubs / Disco

[Playman]

Originally Posted by Charmaine

I know it's grossly inappropriate to hi-jack the thread here to talk about something as random as this, but this is about the only other place that all our Thai guru friends hang out and, to be honest, this really deserves to be shared! I'm sure all our Thai gurus would at least nod and agree with some, of not most, of the following. Happy Thursday everyone.

Make sympathetic noises when a Thai is complaining about something ("Hmm. Uhrr. Mmm. Mmmmmm.")

Realise that no food tastes right unless you load it with fish sauce

Wow...thanks for bringing it up, never realised it....I am doing half of it now when I am in Thailand....better wakes up before it is too late......Thanks for sharing...!

[Kiko_]

Originally Posted by Charmaine

I know it's grossly inappropriate to hi-jack the thread here to talk about something as random as this, but this is about the only other place that all our Thai guru friends hang out and, to be honest, this really deserves to be shared! I'm sure all our Thai gurus would at least nod and agree with some, of not most, of the following. Happy Thursday everyone.

You know you've been in Thailand too long when:-

You think it's normal to have a beer at 9am

You begin to enjoy Thai TV programs

You start to litter your sentences with "khrup", "na" and text people "555" to indicate joviality

You look four ways before crossing a one-way street

You put salt and chili on your fruit

A Thai cop stops you for a minor infraction and your right arm automatically reaches for your back pocket to whip out your wallet

You think that a Honda Civic is a prestigious car

You can't remember the last time you wore a suit and tie

You think a polo shirt and jeans are formal attire

Someone tells you that watching Thai politics is like watching two chameleons making love and you understand the analogy

You aren't upset when the pretty girl right next to you eats beetles as a snack

You haven't had a solid stool for five years

You wake up in the morning and realize that you have nowhere to go and all day to get there

You actually start to think white wine might go well with Tom Yum

A Thai bar-girl you've just met tells you that her mother is deathly ill and you just laugh and walk away

You consider you mobile phone a fashion accessory and start download cheesy techno songs as ring-tones

You start wearing slippers everywhere

You start driving cars bare-feet

Dogs become animals you'd rather kick than pet

You flash your 4 indicator lights when driving straight on at an intersection

It's two days before payday, so you only go to bars with balloons strung outside

You realise that all the important words in Thai begin with the letter 'S' - sanuk, saduak, sabai and suay

You start to think a calendar would be more useful than a watch

You stand in the shadow of a telephone pole while waiting for a bus - if the bus takes too long you and the queue start walking around the pole like a human sun-dial

You see a young child cleaning your car window in the middle of the road, barefoot, long past their bed-time and you no longer feel sadness

You address the Sukhumvit Soi 5 beggar on a first-name basis and he actually waves back the next time he saw you

When you start pronouncing English words incorrectly on purpose (Thai Weeesa, Send-turn Were)

When you're watching football and start screaming "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!" while raising both your arms in a rhythmic motion once your team scores, while shouting "OEIIIIIIIII!!" when it's a near-miss

When you check your reflection during an argument to see if you're doing it like the actor in the lakorn show last night

When your girlfriend stops saying "Up to you" and actually has an opinion

When you see a Caucasian on the street and you point to him immediately shouting "Falang!" at the top of your voice

You have seriously considered buying a motorsai as your next family car

You're no longer surprised when four men with a ladder show up to change your light bulb

You treat it as a norm that a stranger would suddenly come up to you and start rubbing your shoulders while you're taking a leak

You think having a 1 baht coin in your ear looks cool

You stand and watch an entire video in Power Buy

You tell someone nonchalantly it's 11am when it's a quarter past 12

You have an appointment at 2pm and leave your apartment at 2.45pm

You find nothing wrong with ordering soh-dah wall-terrr instead of coke to go with your whiskey and eating popcorn in the middle of a dance floor

When the floor becomes your prefered meal venue

You start to feel something's missing when you are reversing your car and don't hear any whistles

You pay all your bills, buy all your groceries and transact everything that's humanly possible at "Seh-wen" and upgrade your korm-pew-terrr at Pan-teeep Pah-Zahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

When your girlfriend chattered for 2 hours on the phone with her best friend in the car and you actually thought they were talking about something meaningful

Make sympathetic noises when a Thai is complaining about something ("Hmm. Uhrr. Mmm. Mmmmmm.")

Realise that no food tastes right unless you load it with fish sauce

LOL... i think i have few of those syndromes


You begin to enjoy Thai TV programs (especially thai songs)

You start to litter your sentences with "khrup", "na" and text people "555" to indicate joviality (i sometimes accidently speaking thai with my indo office maid)

You put salt and chili on your fruit (eating more chili with sugar now)

You actually start to think white wine might go well with Tom Yum (especially like to eat som tam)

A Thai bar-girl you've just met tells you that her mother is deathly ill and you just laugh and walk away

You consider you mobile phone a fashion accessory and start download cheesy techno songs as ring-tones (my mobile phone now full of disco techno songs)

You realise that all the important words in Thai begin with the letter 'S' - sanuk, saduak, sabai and suay

You start to think a calendar would be more useful than a watch

When you start pronouncing English words incorrectly on purpose (Thai Weeesa, Send-turn Were) (start speaking thai english grammar)

When you see a Caucasian on the street and you point to him immediately shouting "Falang!" at the top of your voice

Make sympathetic noises when a Thai is complaining about something ("Hmm. Uhrr. Mmm. Mmmmmm.")

Realise that no food tastes right unless you load it with fish sauce

[Kiko_]

Originally Posted by Playman

Bro....look at my signature...over the hill...finito...finish...not any shifu....but see (die) fu.....(bitter in canotonese)!

You are the reign KC King.....come and share some of your point of view......! Want to go BKK next week?

KC king is not me la... i just a little fly who goes around here and there sniffing for sh!t, hehe.....

Really or not u going? Hope to see u there on June

[etct88]

Originally Posted by Charmaine

You think it's normal to have a beer at 9am

I don't drink in the day, yet! still Ok, rite....

You begin to enjoy Thai TV programs

Shit, la.... I do enjoy Thai TV programmes, even I don't understand what the hell was going on, just figuring....

You start to litter your sentences with "khrup", "na" and text people "555" to indicate joviality

Did not cultivate this habit, just ocasionally say Sawadee..... Have been doing this for umpteen years.

You look four ways before crossing a one-way street

I look at more than 4 ways, and repeat them.....

You put salt and chili on your fruit

still eating my pineapple, water melon and mango (sweet one) neat.

A Thai cop stops you for a minor infraction and your right arm automatically reaches for your back pocket to whip out your wallet

I have alway being law abidding, but I do not hasitate to 'donate' RM 50 whenever I get stopped on the way to cross the border. Have no encounter with Thai cops, not yet...

You think that a Honda Civic is a prestigious car

I think every new car is prestigious????? in Thailand

You can't remember the last time you wore a suit and tie

I still remember how to tie a neck tie... have suits tailored in BKK

You think a polo shirt and jeans are formal attire

I have no jeans.... serious!

Someone tells you that watching Thai politics is like watching two chameleons making love and you understand the analogy

No, I always enjoyed the Thai politics.... yellow to red to blue to white, finally blue black.... I formed my personal opinion...

You aren't upset when the pretty girl right next to you eats beetles as a snack

Shit, I eat bugs too.....scared the shit out of my hi so Thai friends...

You haven't had a solid stool for five years

I always enjoyed my morning rituals, no problem with stools..

You wake up in the morning and realize that you have nowhere to go and all day to get there

when there is nothing to do, I will look for a golf course.... DNK have Black Forest, HDY have South Hills and quite a few, BKK have plenty...

You actually start to think white wine might go well with Tom Yum

Never enjoyed white wine... red witg tom yam is a bit tough

Shit la, I enjoyed somtam poo par la, kaw ngeow, kai yang........

A Thai bar-girl you've just met tells you that her mother is deathly ill and you just laugh and walk away

I always believe them.... and we have supper after that

You consider you mobile phone a fashion accessory and start download cheesy techno songs as ring-tones

no, too old for such toys...

You start wearing slippers everywhere

I love slipper since young.. and went to disco in them, now

You start driving cars bare-feet

Have always been driving bare feet, feel safer and have feel...

Dogs become animals you'd rather kick than pet

I don't fancy pets, I don't kick dogs...

You flash your 4 indicator lights when driving straight on at an intersection

NO WAY, hate these drivers....knn, especially those on Malaysian Highway on rainy days.

It's two days before payday, so you only go to bars with balloons strung outside

me have no payday..... go whenever can, but not a keen clubber

You realise that all the important words in Thai begin with the letter 'S' - sanuk, saduak, sabai and suay

Not yet until now....sex????

You start to think a calendar would be more useful than a watch

couldn't afford a watch at one time, until now don't have one, yeah, I think calendar is more useful...

You stand in the shadow of a telephone pole while waiting for a bus - if the bus takes too long you and the queue start walking around the pole like a human sun-dial

I love the sun, hide from the sun during golf, to aviod sun stroke/burn

You see a young child cleaning your car window in the middle of the road, barefoot, long past their bed-time and you no longer feel sadness

those selling flowers come to my car, I quick quick lock my car doors....

You address the Sukhumvit Soi 5 beggar on a first-name basis and he actually waves back the next time he saw you

only give those that are really handicap, leave those have hands and legs alone....

When you start pronouncing English words incorrectly on purpose (Thai Weeesa, Send-turn Were)

No... not happening yet!

When you're watching football and start screaming "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!" while raising both your arms in a rhythmic motion once your team scores, while shouting "OEIIIIIIIII!!" when it's a near-miss

I know what this mean, so I am guilty.... tried to be part of the community

When you check your reflection during an argument to see if you're doing it like the actor in the lakorn show last night

no la.... don't like argument.

When your girlfriend stops saying "Up to you" and actually has an opinion

Shit, la, she hardly say 'up to you' liao, have opinion to offer...

When you see a Caucasian on the street and you point to him immediately shouting "Falang!" at the top of your voice

no la, I don't like being beaten up....

You have seriously considered buying a motorsai as your next family car

brought one for girlfriend, but not for family........ prefer a pick up.. worse!

You're no longer surprised when four men with a ladder show up to change your light bulb

still prefer to DIY.

You treat it as a norm that a stranger would suddenly come up to you and start rubbing your shoulders while you're taking a leak

No, I tell that farker to fark off.....knn, never like these leechers.

You think having a 1 baht coin in your ear looks cool

no, scare later have ear cancer...

You stand and watch an entire video in Power Buy

cannot happen, always kenna chased a way... would have done it anywhere sinceme was born.

You tell someone nonchalantly it's 11am when it's a quarter past 12

No, I don't like to lie, prefer to say 12 when it is 11...

You have an appointment at 2pm and leave your apartment at 2.45pm

not my style, I prefer to be early, but I don't get annoyed when have to wait, used to it liao.

You find nothing wrong with ordering soh-dah wall-terrr instead of coke to go with your whiskey and eating popcorn in the middle of a dance floor

not yet... still sober.. still having my whisky with water or lean, with water on the side.

When the floor becomes your prefered meal venue

no la, always like to have proper meals in proper place....

You start to feel something's missing when you are reversing your car and don't hear any whistles

Happy when I don't hear whistle....

You pay all your bills, buy all your groceries and transact everything that's humanly possible at "Seh-wen" and upgrade your korm-pew-terrr at Pan-teeep Pah-Zahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

hmmmm....

When your girlfriend chattered for 2 hours on the phone with her best friend in the car and you actually thought they were talking about something meaningful

ha ha ha... I know they love to talk cock or otherwise they cunt talk...

Make sympathetic noises when a Thai is complaining about something ("Hmm. Uhrr. Mmm. Mmmmmm.")

whenever I don't know what to say/reply...

Realise that no food tastes right unless you load it with fish sauce
initially I love fish sauce, but i find it becoming more salty...

Thank you Charmaine, really fun survey and have agood look at oneself. Looks OK for me, more blues than red..... but seem like red wil dominate...

[yinyang]

Nice dig (at ourselves?), good to see charmaine's replay here. Seem to recall this somewhere (stickman?) when this late bloomer started with LOS thingy (or misadventure?) some years back.

Can relate to ectc88's honest to goodness and personal response (some). Beer at 0900 seems to me more of a farang thing in sois off suk. Have contributed more than my fair share on greasing cops oin my occassional drives across causeway. Kns, 1 even came on with a big grin wishing me good morning and how are you sir (good customer service?!).

In bkk suk near nana 1 late morning, blokes in tight brown uniform didn't escape my ciggie butt on sidewalk (tried to unsuccessfully look for bin). Pulled me to side and gave me a bollacking. Then pop question: settle bht1000, no receipt. Must have split with his partner, kopi brekkie time.

On thai telly, guilty as charged on more than a look at those lovely beauties. Still not got around to putting ice in my beer (as locals tend to do). On cars, almost every other new car is a toyota, no?

[Playman]

Originally Posted by yinyang

Nice dig (at ourselves?), good to see charmaine's replay here. Seem to recall this somewhere (stickman?) when this late bloomer started with LOS thingy (or misadventure?) some years back.

Can relate to ectc88's honest to goodness and personal response (some). Beer at 0900 seems to me more of a farang thing in sois off suk. Have contributed more than my fair share on greasing cops oin my occassional drives across causeway. Kns, 1 even came on with a big grin wishing me good morning and how are you sir (good customer service?!).

In bkk suk near nana 1 late morning, blokes in tight brown uniform didn't escape my ciggie butt on sidewalk (tried to unsuccessfully look for bin). Pulled me to side and gave me a bollacking. Then pop question: settle bht1000, no receipt. Must have split with his partner, kopi brekkie time.

On thai telly, guilty as charged on more than a look at those lovely beauties. Still not got around to putting ice in my beer (as locals tend to do). On cars, almost every other new car is a toyota, no?

Do as the Roman does when you are in Rome......heard this somewhere before.......becoming a Roman is a very different story.......just my own humble opinion!

[Pearl]

Originally Posted by Playman

Do as the Roman does when you are in Rome......heard this somewhere before.......becoming a Roman is a very different story.......just my own humble opinion!

Always remember you are a guest in foreign land.. wont do u wrong.

We will never be assimilated entirely into other countries society even if we speak their language, wear their clothes, eat the same food or bonk the same way.

[CeiResident]

Originally Posted by Playman

Do as the Roman does when you are in Rome......heard this somewhere before.......becoming a Roman is a very different story.......just my own humble opinion!

Yo bro currently in Poipet now, lets meet up at seacon square on sunday morning na. u got my contact buzz me den, shall link up on green bus station.

[khoon1]

Originally Posted by CeiResident

Yo bro currently in Poipet now, lets meet up at seacon square on sunday morning na. u got my contact buzz me den, shall link up on green bus station.

Bro ,how are you ,many years never meet in here .

[Redlordjr]

Originally Posted by khoon1

Bro ,how are you ,many years never meet in here .

Sorry don't understand you at all .How to meet in here ??? Your england very deep.

[CeiResident]

Arai na? Mai Kow Jai Ror....

[Jarko]

ro resident.. when coming back??

[roamersg]

Originally Posted by Charmaine

this is about the only other place that all our Thai guru friends hang out and, to be honest, this really deserves to be shared! I'm sure all our Thai gurus would at least nod and agree with some, of not most, of the following.

Bro Charmaine, this is great, thx for sharing! I no longer spend as much time there, but still suffer from some of these!

[Playman]

Originally Posted by CeiResident

Arai na? Mai Kow Jai Ror....

Bro....when is your next trip to Bkk....?

[Jarko]

call resident bo answer de leh.. was planning to ask him when he was coming back..