It is worth forsake everything in singapore and join her in china to start a new life

[speedyboy]

Originally Posted by aczeta76

TS

Many of us have been down this trodden path before... may I suggest you go try staying in PRC (The city that you both are intending to settle down in 'coz it is quite different in the provincial and rural cities)

Then u see if you can adjust to life there, incl life with her everyday. Couple life is not just about sex, intimacy or willing to suffer ro go through thick and thin together.

Practical considerations are abound. Some like:

1. Would you be able to support her or will you become a burden instead years from now?
2. Do the both of you have a common view towards any "MONEY" requests from her family which may come from time to time?
3. Are you street smart and savvy enough to survive and thrive in PRC? Able to speak Putong Hua is only the basic, you need to be able to assimilate into their culture and ply the road...
4. If you are not going to be juz a clerical salaried worker, then how will your "wife" take to you entertaining guests in the KTVs which are full of syt mm..and how will you be able to resist the temptations.
5...more more more..

Think through carefully, if she is serious, you are playing with her youth too so dun give promises you cannot keep. Make a rational decision

Thanks bro...

From start i already told her i cant give her promises...i dun want her to be hurt also

[speedyboy]

Originally Posted by slider_72

Bro, my guess is that you met her at a KTV in Singapore. A very wise sage once told me that going to KTV is like stepping into a dream world, an illusion. Once you are there, by all means enjoy yourself as much as you want. However, you must always remember, once the lights are on, and the moment you step out of the lift, the dream is over and the illusion is at an end. Don't confuse your dream world with the real world.

95% of these girls would probably be able to score a high distinction if they sat for the human psychology exams. After a while, they will be able to tell whether you are a predator or a prey. By playing to your desires, they get a repeat customer.

You may click well with the girl, feel that you two have a certain chemistry together, sex may have been mind-boggling, etc but end of the day, how much of that was real and how much of it was merely an illusion. Only you can tell bro.

To abandon friends, family, job, pink IC, reservist obligations, in order to be with her is not to be taken lightly. Most Singaporeans are frogs in the well. We are too spoilt and do not have the street savvy to survive in the jungle that is the real world. Before you even begin fantasizing about a lovey-dovey life together with your KTV gf in China, think about how you are going to survive if you do decide to move over there. Get a clerical job? Get real. Check the recent reports about how many PRC graduates there are fighting for a small number of job openings. Just because Singaporeans are generally better at English does not guarantee us a job in PRC. Their proficiency in the English language is improving by leaps and bounds. For instance, take the example of China_girl who wrote about how her Singaporean bf dumped her in another thread. She was a KTV girl, but she is able to post her story in English. Although the sentence structure and grammar could be improved upon, my point here is that they are catching up on us and pretty soon, we will not have any competitive advantage.

Doing business in China? Us doing business with them is like a flock of sheep doing business with wolves. Unless you become a wolf yourself, you will become someone else's dinner.

What other career options are there left. Hmmm.... lets see.... be a farmer? At least the SAF did teach us how to dig trenches.

yes i met her in ktv in sg....from start i already knew this is an illusion...is just that i cant let go...want to explore further the possibility of being togather....sometime really hate myself i got this kind of stoopid thought.

China is changing rapidly....there is so many talents in china...how to fight...english maybe another advantage...but wont be long...now english is taught in primary school...no longer in high school....sooner or later maybe in the future...some parent might use english as their main language at home.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Originally Posted by speedyboy

Bro colins, you still in china with that girl?
Actually to be frank...i am lost....heart want to be with her...but sub-conscience tell mi this whole thing wont work whether i with her in sg or china.

This is a very important indication to you.
This means that your body's defense mechanism is speaking to you!!!!! LISTEN TO IT!!!!!!

Originally Posted by speedyboy

is just that i cant let go...want to explore further the possibility of being together....sometime really hate myself i got this kind of stoopid thought.

My friend, everything in life has a solution!
Remember, 什么都是死的，人是活的！！！
Actually, your prob is already known to yourself!
The prob you are facing is YOU!

For a start, start learning to love yourself again......remember, if financially speaking, if my guess is rite, your financial status is only so so, so before you build a house, you need a land. Can you afford to buy land?
Second, how else does this gal know how to make money other than being a WL? If not, you have just increased your liabilities by ten folds.

Cannot let go! The most common thing and number 1 killer of a cheongster!
Let me share wif you wat i learnt from my fav singer that just had dinner wif me only a short while ago.

老哥，你永远找不到对手的，因为在你眼里，你看每一个夜场的女人都是鬼， 所以，没有人骗得了你。算我聪明，所以做你妹妹。只有你知道我的所有而我们用的招， 你都会也在用， 怎么骗呢？所以，我们找的凯子，最重要是要用人性来对我们，我们才骗得过！And this, is my shield and protection! With different people, you apply different defenses till its beyond a benefit of a doubt that there's no ill intent, then you lower your shield, but lower only, never put it down!

Remember, you are prolly saying, but she's different, she didnt lie to me blah blah....this u cannot deny rite.

Sometimes in life, good things take awhile of nurturing before it bears real good fruit.
My advise to you is, clear your head.
Yes, heart cannot rule the situation but your MIND MUST!

Never rush into things like these, especially when dealing wif a WL, cos normal laws of boy/gal relationships does not apply.......if you really must, then only 1 thing will be on your side. That's TIME!!! If she's really in love with you, she'll put in so much effort just to be together with you that it will touch you till you cannot refute.
She knows how u feel about her, trust me...so let her prove to you beyond a benefit of a doubt that she wants to be wif you FOREVER! But then again, this isnt full proof.

What i suggest you do is take some quiet time, read through this section of the forum......trust me, from those who put their life experiences down, you will see many similarities that i am confident, will aid you in clearing your clouded head my friend.

Remember, once you take this path, watever happens in the end, you will never be the same you before you met her again....this is the ultimate price for wanting to live in a dream and not reality.

Good luck!

[DO_I_BJ]

Originally Posted by speedyboy

Bro colins, you still in china with that girl?
Actually to be frank...i am lost....heart want to be with her...but sub-conscience tell mi this whole thing wont work whether i with her in sg or china.

speedy give urself somemore time to decide whether to move over or not. Don't ganchiong to decide whether to move over or not. Who knows the relationship might end after ur 3rd year? who knows something might happen in between. Like what bro dybj said. TIME. I wont tell u to give up or go for it. But give urself sometime my friend.

im in a similar situation myself. And trust me im as confused as confucious. So i give myself time. and see if things will work out or not. Don't throw ur life away for something very uncertain abroad.

But u have been with her for 2 years and u said she has been good to you. Can you state what are the good things? impt to state. But i can understand... 2 years of feelings is hell lots of feelings.

[colins]

Originally Posted by speedyboy

Bro colins, you still in china with that girl?
Actually to be frank...i am lost....heart want to be with her...but sub-conscience tell mi this whole thing wont work whether i with her in sg or china.

No I am not. After I left, we were in long distance relationship. Recently just found out that she have been a kept women to a Jappy old man for over a year. Of cos she was keeping everything from me, still hoping that I will buy a property for her and marry her.

Ur sub conscious is probably the only thing that can save you bro. But then humans are like that, see a hole also must walk and drop in to taste the feeling of the fall. Live for yourself man.

[HCKing]

Originally Posted by speedyboy

yes i met her in ktv in sg....from start i already knew this is an illusion...is just that i cant let go...want to explore further the possibility of being togather....sometime really hate myself i got this kind of stoopid thought.

China is changing rapidly....there is so many talents in china...how to fight...english maybe another advantage...but wont be long...now english is taught in primary school...no longer in high school....sooner or later maybe in the future...some parent might use english as their main language at home.

this is confirm an illusion. i chiong ktv/tn many times b4 so more or less i knw these china mei mei pattern.
the thing abt these ktv gals are they are good in dealing with men, all the more with men who are loaded with cash. good gals will nt be able to survive working in this line cos of the nature of the work. they will rather earn the hard way by working as production operator or even coffee shop server. y? cos good girls have 尊严, wont anyhw get laid unless is their beloved. dont say i stereotype but those that choose to work in ktv are those who want to earn easy and fast cash due to their materialistic and lazy character. never listen to their sob stories they are all bull shits!! alot of them in fact are not poor at all just want to milk more $ to feed their greed for LV etc.
i rem i ever been to a tn last time and this young and chio prc mei mei was telling me hw a stupid cai tao is trying to sian her as fb. she was laughing to me hw pathetic and loser this guy is who earns only $2k a mth and still want to sian her. after that she asked me hw much i earn a mth? i told her less than $2k. so can u tell their type of character liao?

let me say it again, NO GOOD GALS WILL WORK IN THIS LINE AND EVEN IF THEY DO, WILL NOT MAKE IT LONG DUE TO THE NATURE OF THE WORK.

and dont think abt settling down in PRC land to be a good R & R ground as slowly their standard of living will be higher and higher.....and look at their population, post 1 job can get 1000 applicants. tough lah.

[HCKing]

Originally Posted by speedyboy

Bro colins, you still in china with that girl?
Actually to be frank...i am lost....heart want to be with her...but sub-conscience tell mi this whole thing wont work whether i with her in sg or china.

1st thing, are u dead sure she will die die stay with u till the end of days? this may be what yr subconscious is trying to remind u. think, if u really settle down with her in PRC land, wat if u spent all yr $ and cant get a job there will she still stay with u?
let me tell u more abt wat i encountered b4, i was a regular to a few PRC KTV and TN gals so after being a regular customer plus my good acting skill to make them believe i gt no big $ to milk they somehow tend to be more frank to me when we talk cock.
one told me although she is making big $ frm big spenders deep in her heart she depise them as alot of these married men are old enough to be her papa yet still flirting with her ' darling' ' qing ai de' make her feel disgusted.its 4 the sake of $ that she is playing along with them if nt confirm will ask them to fark off big time!
another one told me her 'dream' is to set up her own biz in china and be her own ladyboss. hw to get the capital in the shortest time? wat u think leh? its little wonder y u often hear stories of the 'loving' PRC lover/wife disappears suddenly with all the men's money/savings, no where to be found.

so TS, i hope u will spend more time to think it over cos its will hard to pick yrself up if one day u r left will nothing, financially and emotionally. haiz.......

[FL Lover]

To TS,

What I am going to say to you is that you are really NUTS in thinking of going over to PRC land to settle down with her after ganna KC...

I have heard of pple GIVING UP EVERYTHING IN SG to go to other countries for

1) Better Career
2) Live out their retirement age
3) Enjoy Better Quality Life

BUT YOU on the other hand, you are giving up everything in SG for a KTV ger in PRC land..... U better think twice or more!!!

Just look around at those old threads in SBF, what is the success rate of those guys who gave up everything in SG and only to find themselves crawling back to tell their SAD FXXK stories?

Lastly, stop your dreaming... Do you think that you will get the same quality of life in PRC with yor ger by yourside every night?

Let me tell you....

IN THIS WORLD, NO $ NO LOVE

Hopefully I wake you from your dreams.

[HCKing]

Originally Posted by FL Lover

Let me tell you....

IN THIS WORLD, NO $ NO LOVE

Hopefully I wake you from your dreams.

problem is these dreams are so damn beautiful that one cant bear to wake up u see. ppl only wake up during nightmares.
ever wonder y so many fell prey to PRC gals? honestly speaking if u ask me i dare to say THEY ARE REALLY NO HORSE RUN, whether in terms of looks, charm, class, 手段, neh neh etc. all tok kong.

which is y such games r never for the weak hearted ( easily tio kC ) type.

[DO_I_BJ]

Originally Posted by HCKing

problem is these dreams are so damn beautiful that one cant bear to wake up u see. ppl only wake up during nightmares.
ever wonder y so many fell prey to PRC gals? honestly speaking if u ask me i dare to say THEY ARE REALLY NO HORSE RUN, whether in terms of looks, charm, class, 手段, neh neh etc. all tok kong.

which is y such games r never for the weak hearted ( easily tio kC ) type.

we must have a 武陵密集 for this type of people.... bro dybj has one hidden somewhere.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Originally Posted by DO_I_BJ

we must have a 武陵密集 for this type of people.... bro dybj has one hidden somewhere.

How did i get embroiled in this???????

[HCKing]

Originally Posted by DO_I_BJ

we must have a 武陵密集 for this type of people.... bro dybj has one hidden somewhere.

hahaha scarly secret manual also nt enough to fight the demons, need to keep repeating chants like ' i must nt tio KC, must nt tio KC, must rem to find fark and forget, must find fark and forget' many times to cool down the shakened mind( or didi ).

best is nt to keep looking for the same gal, cos by doing so u r giving her the chance to lure u into a KC trap. rem, she has nthing to lose by doing so, cos she is already a WL.by doing so she has nthing to lose but all to gain. but for us we can choose to be a happy customer or a kuku cai tao.

the choice lies in us.

[etct88]

Originally Posted by DO_YOU_BJ

.......Let me share wif you wat i learnt from my fav singer that just had dinner wif me only a short while ago.

老哥，你永远找不到对手的，因为在你眼里，你看每一个夜场的女人都是鬼， 所以，没有人骗得了你。算我聪明，所以做你妹妹。只有你知道我的所有而我们用的招， 你都会也在用， 怎么骗呢？所以，我们找的凯子，最重要是要用人性来对我们，我们才骗得过！And this, is my shield and protection! .....Good luck!

I like what you advise, but I a bit ang moh pai... so can translate a that little para......

I could make up some (50%), the words sound so true and ..... appreciate your translation...

I could only understand some, like 'Big Brother (dirty old man), you will never find an opponent (you bloody old ginger...), because in your view, you see every owl (female) also a vampire... blah blah.....'

argh... please correct me.... hee hee..... thank you thank you, you....

[DO_YOU_BJ]

just for bro etct88

老哥，你永远找不到对手的，因为在你眼里，你看每一个夜场的女人都是鬼， 所以，没有人骗得了你。算我聪明，所以做你妹妹。只有你知道我的所有而我们用的招， 你都会也在用， 怎么骗呢？所以，我们找的凯子，最重要是要用人性来对我们，我们才骗得过！

Big bro, you will never find a match, because of the your view on these night scene gals. You view them all as ghosts, that's why no one can lie to you. Lucky i smart, that's why i became your little sister. Only you know my all and all our tactics, you also know how to use, how to bluff? That's why, the Roberts or Carrot Heads we are seeking for, most importantly, is using humanity to view and treat us, then we can con them!

Done bro, just for you........

[glooper83]

1.) I have been away from this section of the forum for quite some time now. Is there a clone DIBJ or is it just bro DYBJ?

2.) Bro collins, your advice seems spot on as usual. Maybe can advice me on my career. Being 6 months unemployed without direction is terrible.

3.) Ts, i was once in your shoe albeit for a very short period of time. I almost wanted to take up a job posting in China even though i did not have an interest in it just so that i could be in China with her.

There were so many plus factors for me, career wise: China is a growing market, many people going there to advance their careers.

Girls : Personally i find chinese girls more demure and bla bla bla but that view is slowly being eroded by the countless stories i encounter.

Interest : I like environment and scenery, and China has many beautiful mountains and gorges and temples.

However, i also considered other factors

Stability : i like the stability and apparent calmness that SG offers. China gives me the impression that its too packed and very messy.

Social Stigma : Making such a decision is a life changing one. Its no longer about just going over China to work for a couple of years but you are talking about migration.

Perhaps you might like to take it one step at a time, and leave an avenue for you to 'escape' if you find that you cannot adapt to it in future. ie. Do not take one big plunge and move all your assets to China, do not give up your Sg citizenship. Find a job in China, work and live there for 1-2years with her to allow yourself to assess if you would be able to live there for good before taking a plunge.

Always plan and give yourself an escape route.