A Farang's trip to Thailand

[machoman]

Originally Posted by indecisive

As promised to Mr.Macho, rest of first day trip is cut and forwarded to the night...

Thanks for the update, Wazza boy.

BTW, understand from the newspapers that you had a furious spat with McClaren who had singled you out for the poor performance in Israel.

He should be sacked!

Thank you guys so much for your support, especially to brothers neb_neb, TD0620G and GLHunter and another unknown brother who said "my england was powderful"?

Brother Machoman I have no idea what' youre talking about

Here is my next installment. Please be patient as I am rather busy this week but will try to log in whenver I can.

Another Australian, with Flock of Seagulls hair jumps on stage and does the splits, then stands on one leg while holding the other over his head. I'm not sure if he's supposed to be a martial artist, a cheerleader or a complete idiot. I'm sure he's very proud of himself, but I don't think anyone has come to this bar to watch his plea for attention. I know I haven't.

I slide quietly down the stairs and the greeter girls thank me for coming and then turn to pounce on the next able seaman. I walk along the balcony trying to recalibrate my brain. Clearly a different code of condect is in effect here, and restraint is not a part of it. I need to loosen up.

At the next bar, a girl in a pleated skirt leads me to a one-sided booth. The narrow stage running through the center of the bar is packed with girls. Their thigh high leather boots have red numbers pinned to them. Prodigy's Smack My Bitch Up blares from a speaker directly over my head, but the girls don't dance, there isn't enough room. They hold the poles, shuffle their feet, and stare into space: sardines in bikinis.

I shift my gaze to each girl, overwhelmed by choice but feeling a responsibility to choose well. I divide my attention among them and try to make eye contact. Maybe one will catch my eye. I drink hlaf my Chang Beer waiting for something to happen but nothing does. Noone else seems to be having fun either, all well-dressed businessmen in suits looking bored.
The waitress puts a plastic cup on the small table in front of me, tucks my tab into it, then motions to the stage,"You see, you like?"
"Yes, very nice."
"Which one you like?"
"Well, number thirty six is cute, and..."
She heads for the stage before I complete my shopping list and beckons sardine thirty six. They make gestures in my direction and then the waitress returns to tell,"She wants to know where you come from."
"Where I come from?"
"What country you?"
"I live in America."
The waitress makes hand signals and number thirty six shakes her head. The waitress explains,"She cannot go with you. She only go Japan man."
"And why is that?"
"Japan man pay big money. America man, cheap Charlie."
I may or may not be a cheap-Charlie but I sure as hell don't like it being determined by what I look like or where I'm from. I'm used to being rejected for not having enough money but money's not the problem here tonight. attitude is. "What if I gaver her four thousand baht?"
The waitress gasps,"What you say?"
"I said, what if I gave her four thousand baht?"
"You crazy. For sure?"
"Yes, I'm crazy for sure. Go ask her."
The waitress walked briskly over to the stage and whispers a message. Thirty-six jumps off the stage, prances to my table and presents her hand. "Hello, me Noy."
"Hello Noy, where are you from?"
"Not speak Engrish."
The waitress rejoins her and I ask her to relay my question. "She from Isaan."
I make a sad face and stand to pull my walled out. If Noy thinks I'm about to giver her four thousand baht she's about to be disappointed. I put a hundred baht note on my drink tab and say,"Its time for me to go."
Noy tenses, alarmed by my implied departure, but is unable to speak. She prods the waitress who asks,"You take Noy with you?"
"Sorry I don't like girls from Issan."

[machoman]

Originally Posted by indecisive

Brother Machoman I have no idea what' youre talking about

Boy, that confirms my suspicion that you are not a true-blue football, Man Utd or England football team supporter.

England drew 0-0 with Israel & Rooney was singled out by McClaren for not performing whereupon, Wazza (his nick by his teammates) blew his top & threw his kit all over the dressing room.

Ha! Dare to wear Rooney's jersey & not follow the fate of the England team in the Euro qualifliers. Shame on you! .... an Englishman not knowing when the whole world knows about the furious row between McClaren & Rooney.

Too busy drinking Chang Beer & eyeballing the Thai babes izzit?

Anyway, I like what you did to Noy who obviously is materistic & has an attitude problem. Chok dee (Thai for Good Luck) in your next outing!

[easyeasy]

Originally Posted by machoman

Boy, that confirms my suspicion that you are not a true-blue football, Man Utd or England football team supporter.

indecisive could be americian not english.

[yinyang]

Originally Posted by machoman

..Too busy drinking Chang Beer & eyeballing the Thai babes izzit?

Machoguy, farangs come in all shapes and sizes.. and not necessarily God Save the Queen types. Worse, some are into diff football (kana kiu type) ..same as for footie with aussies. But understand your exuberance, as our fellow red blooded devil hehehehe

Indecisive, yours stir my memories of stickman bangkok webbie a few years back when I was wet behind my ears with LOS. Probably 1 of the odd few sg guys trying to learn from other white experience or avoiding their pitfalls

Good 1 on Issan exit thingy, 4k bht is best left in your pocket.. better stuff awaits.

Originally Posted by machoman

Too busy drinking Chang Beer & eyeballing the Thai babes izzit?

Originally Posted by easyeasy

indecisive could be americian not english.

I am American

Originally Posted by yinyang

Indecisive, yours stir my memories of stickman bangkok webbie a few years back when I was wet behind my ears with LOS.... better stuff awaits.

Would you mind explaining what is "stickman bangkok webbie"?
better stuff awaits, like your encouragement points?

[yinyang]

Originally Posted by indecisive

Would you mind explaining what is "stickman bangkok webbie"? better stuff awaits, like your encouragement points?

Thought you would have been familiar with this staple for farangs into LOS. Stickman's a kiwi, married to a thai based in LOS. Good, objective weekly perspective of LOS (not just the 3 letter word). Plus the usual lovelorn hardluck stories with puyings. I have since stopped popping by after my initiation to bkk some years back. Check this out:

www.stickmanbangkok.com

Pls bear with me on pts thingy, as we are allowed 24hr window and I owe some for their great sensible posts too. Cheers

Originally Posted by yinyang

Pls bear with me on pts thingy, as we are allowed 24hr window and I owe some for their great sensible posts too. Cheers

haha im just joking, friend. its not that important. please do not feel obliged to give me points

im sorry that im too tired now to continue, perhaps i will type out my next installment in a couple of days. work has been extremely tiring

[solid_snake]

Originally Posted by indecisive

Mamasan says,"Fifteen hundred baht she go with you all night."

wow! dude, mind to tell which bar is it? normally i got quoted around 3000 baht in those bars for ST. perhaps i look like those stupid japenis that like to pay big money?

Originally Posted by indecisive

"Sorry I don't like girls from Issan."

cool bro! its fun to read this its a great fireback!

[machoman]

Originally Posted by yinyang

Machoguy, farangs come in all shapes and sizes.. and not necessarily God Save the Queen types. Worse, some are into diff football (kana kiu type) ..same as for footie with aussies. But understand your exuberance, as our fellow red blooded devil hehehehe

Bro yy, I was misled by his initial posting in which he said he was wearing Rooney's jersey.

[ryanlim]

Originally Posted by machoman

Bro yy, I was misled by his initial posting in which he said he was wearing Rooney's jersey.

Originally Posted by indecisive

And where does the big dufus in the red sports jersey think he's going?....................It sported a big white seven above which says Rooney.

nuff said.............

[CibLover]

Bro indecisive,

Bravo for a well-written FR (Field Report). Liked your way of penning things.
Added you points as encouragement. Please continue. I think you have a large following here by now.

[manardsuraporn]

indecisive .......... what happen ? are u MIA ?
all the guys here are awaiting for yr continution of yr trip report.
great report so far !!!

[machoman]

Originally Posted by ryanlim

nuff said.............

You are right, bro.

I misread the post!

BTW, Rooney's MU & England's jersey is no. 8 & not 7. Puzzled????