All you need to know about SEX -Your Sex Dictionary

[Big Sexy]

Longest Lovemaking Session
source from http://www.sexualrecords.com

When a reporter asked Mae West (1892-1980) how she went about writing her memoirs, the legendary sex star quipped, "I do all of my best work in bed." She wasn't kidding. In her autobiography she writes of how she and a sexual prodigy named Ted made love for 15 consecutive hours.

[Big Sexy]

Oldest Male Virgin
source from http://www.sexualrecords.com

Life-long celibates don’t usually go around proclaiming their frigid existence, but I was able to turn up some info on several with the help of my feckful readership--all scientists and mathematicians. Leave it to the liberal arts majors to be more proficient at scoring tail. A short rundown:

Nikola Tesla (1856-1943), Died age 87
Eccentric if brilliant inventor of electrical devices (among them the AC generators that power most of the world), Tesla was less successful at having a personal life. He shunned physical contact of any type, going so far as to feign hand injuries to avoid shaking hands with people he just met. One female acquaintance who grew enamored of Tesla reportedly took the initiative and tried to kiss him, causing the reticent inventor to recoil in terror. In all likelihood he died celibate at age 87.

Sir Isaac Newton (1642-1727), Died age 85
Newt, it seems, was such a prude that he didn’t get into any relationship until he was middle-aged, and most historians believe it went unconsummated. It’s also unlikely that he availed himself of, ah, commercial outlets.

Paul Erdos (1913-1996), Died age 83
Single throughout his life, Paul preferred to live a monkish, nomadic life devoted to his studies in mathematics (he published over 1,475 academic papers during his lifetime). Of his celibacy he made no secret, telling reporters that as a child he "could not stand physical pleasure."

DNAT (1919 - ) still alive and TCSS in the bbs.
the old man of sammyboy.com. not very young and bright, loves to TCSS..

[Big Sexy]

Weight Lifting
source from http://www.sexualrecords.com

Chi Kung is an ancient Taoist art of body control (it dates back to 2700 BC) and claims to resist disease, retard aging, prolong virility, and for all I know give oneself X-ray vision. Some have taken this unique art to new heights, claiming to achieve sexual nirvana by strapping weights to their penises and doing repetitive lifts. No kidding.

Practitioners of this brand of Chi Kung begin their sessions with an hour-long warm-up to stimulate the senses through breathing routines and stretches. After the blood has been stimulated, the men retreat to a small room and dress down to nothing but a T-shirt and a blue cloth wrapped around the midsection (nudity is strictly taboo). After the penis has been manually stimulated, barbells are then hooked onto a coat-hanger-like apparatus, which is tied securely around the base with a scarf. Students then commence the workout, which consists of several swinging and lifting motions designed to really work the muscles. Beginners start out with two and-a-half pounds, and some have eventually progressed to hefting truly colossal weights—we're talking in the hundreds of pounds. A striking demonstration of this was made in 1995 by a Hong Kong master named Mo Ka Wang, who lifted over 250 lbs. two feet off the floor. Sounds pretty impressive, and even if the supposed benefits fall flat you'll at least have an extra method of carrying groceries.

[Big Sexy]

Earliest Prostitution
source from http://www.sexualrecords.com

They don't call it the "oldest profession in the world" for nothin'. The "art of prostitution" and "the cult of the prostitute" are two of the sacred treasures given to the Sumerian goddess Inanna by her father Enki, the god of wisdom. Inanna took these gifts back to Sumer, where the folks dedicated hymns to her and openly practiced these bequests to please the gods. The first written texts date back to 4000 BC, and there's reason to believe the practice had its genesis much earlier.

[Big Sexy]

Youngest Prostitutes
source from http://www.sexualrecords.com

Far too young to be engaged in such practices, several historians tell us. Emperor Tiberius, the archetypal lecher and sadist, got his kicks by pedophile the historian Suetonius tells us in The Twelve Caesars, No. 44:

Some aspects of his criminal obscenity are almost too vile to discuss, much less believe. Imagine training little boys, whom he called his "minnows," to chase him while he went swimming and get between his legs and lick and nibble at him. Or letting babies not yet weaned from their mother's breast suck at him—what a filthy old man he had become!

This form of infantile prostitution became fashionable among the unsavory upper class, until officially given the boot by Emperor Domitian in 84 AD, who declared that no child can be prostituted until the age of seven.

[Big Sexy]

Most Expensive
source from http://www.sexualrecords.com

In Demetrius, the great historian Plutarch writes of how Demetrius Poliorcetes, king of Macedonia (337? - 283 BC) paid for the services of Lamia, a beautiful Greek courtesan:

Of all the disreputable and flagitious acts of which he [Poliorcetes] was guilty in this visit, one that particularly hurt the feelings of the Athenians was that, having given command that they should forthwith raise for his service two hundred and fifty talents, and they to comply with his demands being forced to levy it upon the people with the utmost rigor and severity, when they presented him with the money which they had with such difficulty raised, as if it were a trifling sum, he ordered it to be given to Lamia…

A Greek talent is approximately equal to 25.8 kg. of gold, which is currently being traded at $313 a (troy) ounce. Hence, Poliorcetes shelled out the equivalent of $64.9 million.

[Big Sexy]

Least Expensive
source from http://www.sexualrecords.com

In the town of Petrapole on the border of Bangladesh the local women and girls offer carnal pleasures for as little as 10 rupees (a measly $0.28). Thanks to the flourishing trucking industry, 5 million drivers regularly frequent the women while waiting to cross the frontier. "It is common", the report notes, "for a man to buy sex every day, sometimes several times a day" from local courtesans, averaging about 150-200 sexual encounters a year. (The New York Times 9-22-96 p1,10).

Highest Tax On
Taking time off from papal declarations, absolving sin, and blessings to handle the truly important matters, Pope Clement II (who reigned 1046-1047) issued a bull requiring anyone who had ever engaged in prostitution to leave half of her property (50%) to the Church.

[Big Sexy]

Earliest Red-light District
source from http://www.sexualrecords.com

The Chinese seem to have invented the concept in the Sung Dynasty (960-1279). "Wine houses," many of which were run by the Imperial Board of Revenue, displayed a red light to inform the public of their side business as brothels. "Such special wind houses," a contemporary writer observed, "have bamboo lamps of red [silk] suspended on their front doors; they are displayed both in dry and rainy weather, being protected by covers of plaited bamboo leaves; for it is by those lamps that such special wine houses can be recognized."

[Big Sexy]

Largest Red-light District
source from http://www.sexualrecords.com

Though prostitution is technically illegal in Indonesia, the government continues to run and operate the Kramat Tunggak, a red-light district in North Jakarta. The largest in the world, the district spans 28 acres, with more than 220 brothels populated by between 1,000 to 2,000 girls. Regular health checks are mandatory, as is the use of condoms. Prices are said to be one of the best in the world, a mere $15 for short time (subject to negotiation, of course). Officially, the 27-year-old complex was built to "rehabilitate" girls; while they ply their trade at night, by day the government provides job training to prepare them for different vocations. The government's aim is to encourage girls to develop a life independent of prostitution.

A noble idea¾in theory. The recent souring of the Asian economy, coupled by the devaluation of Indonesia's currency, has sent prices plummeting. With the economic turmoil its not surprising most girls find they can earn more money lying flat on their back in a brothel than sitting in some factory.

If you wish to add Kramat to your travel itinerary, you're a bit late: officials have closed all the brothels as of the end of 1999.

[Big Sexy]

First Public Brothel
source from http://www.sexualrecords.com

Solon, a Grecian law-maker, showed his genius for public relations by establishing the first publicly administered brothel in Athens in the year 549 BC. Operated and inhabited by imported slaves, the bordello simultaneously solved several problems: it provided a means of sustenance for the lower classes, it generated tax revenues, and it created an outlet for virile men to satisfy their lustful impulse. The measure met with widespread approval by the (male) populace. Wrote one observer, Xenarchus:

The young men in Athens are doing absolutely shocking things, and there's no excuse for it. For there are very fine-looking girls available at the brothels. And you can see them standing there outside, breast bared in the bright sunshine, almost naked and lined up conveniently one after another. From these anybody can pick out a favorite: skinny or fat; curvy, lanky, or bent over; young or old; firm or lush...These girls just about drag you in, calling the old men "Daddy," and the younger ones "Lover Boy." And you can have her, cheap and without any risk, available day and evening--and any way you want her.

The design was quickly copied and instituted in other cities.

[Big Sexy]

Earliest Circumcision
source from http://www.sexualrecords.com

Male Circumcision, the minor surgical operation of cutting away the retractable envelope of skin that sheathes the tip of the penis, is believed to have originated in Africa and Egypt. There are hieroglyphics dating to 2300 BC depicting one such operation (my scanner's on the blink, so I'm afraid I can't show you). It's uncertain how widespread the practice was, as mummified remains, statues, and paintings offer conflicting evidence. But it does not appear to be universal, nor have class connotations: some pharaohs were, others were not.

A more intriguing question is why it began in the first place. Some modern scholars argue it was because of hygiene--clothing was loose and scanty, they say, and grit would find its way under the foreskin and cause irritation and damage. This theory has a certain novelty to it, but wouldn't it have been a lot simpler to wear tight-fitting clothing before taking up the knife? The more believable explanation is that it is exactly what it seems to be, a fertility rite. The operation was not performed until just before adolescence, and all of the early societies that practiced the surgery would offer the excised skin to a fertility deity and be sacrificially burned.

Female What--you thought only males could be circumcised? As a ritual it is believed to have originated c. 2000 BC, though where is a matter of dispute. It was practiced by many ancient societies, including Egyptians, Malayans, Africans, and virtually all Semitic peoples. In the practicing cultures, a girl was circumcised in preparation for her first coitus, the rite carried out by a priest, male relative, or, more commonly, an elder woman. The severity of the ritual varied: in some cultures, it only involved a minor nicking of the clitoris, in others it could mean its complete removal, along with the inner and outer labia minora.

Female circumcision also has one quality unlike its male counterpart--it's barbaric. The adolescent girls would be held down by men as they screamed and struggled franticly, making the outcome of the operation haphazard and not infrequently fatal. Medical complications include hemorrhages, infections, urinary complications, labial adherences, clitoridal cysts, and accidental injuries to the surrounding organs. But worse is the psychosexual damage, as survivors discover their sexual response impaired if not completely eliminated.

[Big Sexy]

Earliest Contraceptive
source from http://www.sexualrecords.com

Egyptian papyri fragments, dating from the XII Dynasty (1850 BC) and considered the oldest medical literature to survive to the present time, contains a somewhat icky recipe to prevent pregnancy: apply crocodile dung to one's insides, irrigate with honey and natron, and then insert a gum-like substance. Another surviving piece, the Ebers papyrus (1550 BC), recommends using lint tampons moistened with juice from the tips of fermented acacia shrubs.

[Big Sexy]

Most / Least Effective Contraceptive
source from http://www.sexualrecords.com

The following table is a reprint from The Kinsey Institute New Report on Sex (1990) with some additional augmentation by myself.



As you can see, the new contraceptive method Depo-Provera has proven to be the most effective method with a 99.7% chance of preventing pregnancy, and, assuming you don't leave things to the province of fate, douching the least effective.

[Big Sexy]

Earliest Condom
source from http://www.sexualrecords.com

Gabriel Fallopius is generally credited for inventing this invaluable device, which he described in De Morbo Gallico ("The French Disease", 1564). The Italian anatomist's design, basically a stiff linen sheath covering the glans, was motivated less by preventing pregnancy than protecting the man from venereal disease. At the time, pregnancy was viewed as the woman's problem.

But Gabriel wasn't the first to dream up such an invention. Sheaths made of stiffened sheep's intestines were used in ancient Rome, and there is an Egyptian illustration dating to the XIX Dynasty (1350-1200 BC) of a man wearing a similar covering.

[Big Sexy]

Largest Condom
source from http://www.sexualrecords.com

Seeking a way to impress the populace with the threat of AIDS, activists in December 1998 paraded an enormous condom through the streets of Bogota, Colombia as part of an annual holiday street fair. The phenomenal prophylactic—12 feet in diameter, stretching over a half-mile in length and weighing roughly 3,000 lbs. (+800m, 1360kg)—took two months to build and cost $13,000. As it was paraded though the main boulevards, a troupe of dancers performed along side, accompanied by a convoy of armed policemen, for, um, protection.

The whole scheme was dreamed up by doctors specializing in sexually transmitted diseases at the Santiago de Cali University along with workers from drug rehabilitation programs. "The idea," on doctor told reporters, "is for people to realize that the disease exists, that it's here, and that it represents a far greater threat than the condom we're displaying."

The idea was hardly new: In 1994, AIDS activists slipped a 72-foot condom over the obelisk in Paris’ Place de la Concorde.