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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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  #31  
Old 18-05-2022, 08:19 PM
fallen11 fallen11 is offline
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Re: Opinion on my decision to be with a Vietnamese lady

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sgdora View Post
As for the ICU part I really cannot verify her story. It’s also hard for me to ask for evidence. The only way I can verify some of her other stories is to see her passport for records of travel, which i will do it soon. She mentioned she has been coming back SG a few times a year pre-covid to see the child. I can correlate her passport records with all the FB photos she posted.
You did helped her financially for the ICU part right? then it gives you the right to ask to see the receipt. But if its too long ago, forget it. Next time if similar things like this happen again, ask to see the bill/receipt as early as you can. Best before you even pass her any money.

Other than that, your best bet is to let time tell if she's real towards you and hope for the best.
  #32  
Old 18-05-2022, 08:23 PM
Sgdora Sgdora is offline
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Originally Posted by fallen11 View Post
You did helped her financially for the ICU part right? then it gives you the right to ask to see the receipt. But if its too long ago, forget it. Next time if similar things like this happen again, ask to see the bill/receipt as early as you can. Best before you even pass her any money.

Other than that, your best bet is to let time tell if she's real towards you and hope for the best.
You are mistaken. The ICU is by the ex husband. I didn’t provide her much financially as she refuses and I have my reservations. She did in fact kept on emphasising that she doesn’t want money to come between us. She don’t want me to think that she is with me for the money. Again like you said, only time will tell.
  #33  
Old 18-05-2022, 08:41 PM
fallen11 fallen11 is offline
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Re: Opinion on my decision to be with a Vietnamese lady

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Originally Posted by Sgdora View Post
You are mistaken. The ICU is by the ex husband. I didn’t provide her much financially as she refuses and I have my reservations. She did in fact kept on emphasising that she doesn’t want money to come between us. She don’t want me to think that she is with me for the money.
thats good
another red flag gone
to me it doesnt seem like she's after your money. But could still be after something else which i dont know what it is. Just hope that something she's after is really "your heart".

What pass does she hold now in sg?
PR, LTVP, work permit?
  #34  
Old 18-05-2022, 09:11 PM
Sgdora Sgdora is offline
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Re: Opinion on my decision to be with a Vietnamese lady

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Originally Posted by fallen11 View Post
thats good
another red flag gone
to me it doesnt seem like she's after your money. But could still be after something else which i dont know what it is. Just hope that something she's after is really "your heart".

What pass does she hold now in sg?
PR, LTVP, work permit?
She is holding work permit and she is going back Vietnam soon. She wants me to pay her a visit after she goes back and meet her parents. So i will do that.
  #35  
Old 18-05-2022, 10:51 PM
ziwan ziwan is offline
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Re: Opinion on my decision to be with a Vietnamese lady

You shouldnt doubt her and ask for opinion here. Which responsible girl dont choose their own child over a man. If u really love her, you should try your best to provide for her and her child.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sgdora View Post
I am very clear that she will choose her child over me. She told me she failed as a mother for leaving the child behind and run away after a year. The reason she is still staying here is because of her child.
  #36  
Old 18-05-2022, 11:04 PM
Sgdora Sgdora is offline
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Originally Posted by ziwan View Post
You shouldnt doubt her and ask for opinion here. Which responsible girl dont choose their own child over a man. If u really love her, you should try your best to provide for her and her child.
I think you misunderstood me. The child wasn’t the issue here. I can always walk away if having a child before bothers me. What bothers me is trust. I asked her when i first knew her if she was married before and had a kid during our conversation. We were both being truthful about our past and hence this topic. I remembered she said no. And now out of the blue i found out and questioned her why didn’t she told me in the beginning. And she said because she was afraid I cannot accept her past and thus cannot accept her.

Now the consequence of her actions is that I don’t know if there are more things that she is hiding. I am only staying around because I really do love her and I hope time will reveal everything and build the trust between us.
  #37  
Old 18-05-2022, 11:22 PM
ziwan ziwan is offline
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Re: Opinion on my decision to be with a Vietnamese lady

If you really love her...u should not ponder so much, taking care of her and her child should be your priority....Unless u dont really love her....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sgdora View Post
We were both being truthful about our past and hence this topic. I remembered she said no. And now out of the blue i found out and questioned her why didn’t she told me in the beginning. And she said because she was afraid I cannot accept her past and thus cannot accept her.
  #38  
Old 18-05-2022, 11:27 PM
Sgdora Sgdora is offline
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Originally Posted by ziwan View Post
If you really love her...u should not ponder so much, taking care of her and her child should be your priority....Unless u dont really love her....
I do love her but in a relationship or marriage, there are many things to consider other than love. All else are as important and if one falls, it will be difficult to sustain. Her child is taken care by the ex husband by the way. The ex husband refused to give her the child and she knows her ex husband is in a better position financially to take care of the child. That’s what she said to me.

Anyway thanks for your opinion. Appreciates it.
  #39  
Old 18-05-2022, 11:35 PM
Peacekeeping Peacekeeping is offline
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Re: Opinion on my decision to be with a Vietnamese lady

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sgdora View Post
I do love her but in a relationship or marriage, there are many things to consider other than love. All else are as important and if one falls, it will be difficult to sustain. Her child is taken care by the ex husband by the way. The ex husband refused to give her the child and she knows her ex husband is in a better position financially to take care of the child. That’s what she said to me.

Anyway thanks for your opinion. Appreciates it.
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  #40  
Old 18-05-2022, 11:42 PM
wiscom wiscom is offline
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Re: Opinion on my decision to be with a Vietnamese lady

Actually wanted to keep one's silence, but seeing how i once was in similar circumstance, cant help but chip in, you should take a look at bro warbird thread: https://sammyboyforum.org.nz/showthread.php?...hlight=warbird

The darkest places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in times of moral crisis...

I dont see why you need to seek validation from strangers if are so certain about this relationship....
  #41  
Old 18-05-2022, 11:57 PM
Peacekeeping Peacekeeping is offline
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Re: Opinion on my decision to be with a Vietnamese lady

Quote:
Originally Posted by wiscom View Post
Actually wanted to keep one's silence, but seeing how i once was in similar circumstance, cant help but chip in, you should take a look at bro warbird thread: https://sammyboyforum.org.nz/showthread.php?...hlight=warbird

The darkest places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in times of moral crisis...

I dont see why you need to seek validation from strangers if are so certain about this relationship....
He did invite us to share our opinions. And the only way he can make an informed decision is to hear from all sides.

The only thing needed for evil to flourish is for good men to stay silent. Just quoting for the sake of sounding poetic
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  #42  
Old 19-05-2022, 12:52 AM
Sgdora Sgdora is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wiscom View Post
Actually wanted to keep one's silence, but seeing how i once was in similar circumstance, cant help but chip in, you should take a look at bro warbird thread: https://sammyboyforum.org.nz/showthread.php?...hlight=warbird

The darkest places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in times of moral crisis...

I dont see why you need to seek validation from strangers if are so certain about this relationship....
Thanks for link. It describes me perfectly and I will know what to do next time if such things happened.

I ain’t seeking validation from strangers. I am seeking opinions from all sides. I might be blinded by love and do things that seems perfectly fine to me but it’s obviously a big no no by outsiders. I ain’t here to listen to good things and wanting people to agree with me. I want to share my story and let some harsh truth into my head. I ain’t that deep in the rabbit hole yet but still deep enough to feel pain if it all falls apart. So perhaps opinions here will open up my eyes and see things differently. I rather let people say how dumb I am here than just happily continue a relationship that might potentially ‘kills’ me.
  #43  
Old 19-05-2022, 12:53 AM
Sgdora Sgdora is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peacekeeping View Post
He did invite us to share our opinions. And the only way he can make an informed decision is to hear from all sides.

The only thing needed for evil to flourish is for good men to stay silent. Just quoting for the sake of sounding poetic
Yes you are right. I ain’t certain about the relationship. Because if i do, there is no point in this thread. I welcome all opinions to keep me thinking. Informed decision is the right words here so thanks.
  #44  
Old 19-05-2022, 11:23 PM
ziwan ziwan is offline
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Re: Opinion on my decision to be with a Vietnamese lady

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sgdora View Post
many things to consider other than love. All else are as important and if one falls, it will be difficult to sustain. Her child is taken care by the ex husband by the way. The ex husband refused to give her the child and she knows her ex husband is in a better position financially to take care of the child. That’s what she said to me.
Why not you share her contact with bros here, there are many bros more capable to take care of her than u.
  #45  
Old 20-05-2022, 09:42 AM
Sgdora Sgdora is offline
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Re: Opinion on my decision to be with a Vietnamese lady

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Originally Posted by funboi View Post
people marry for a happy life ahead 555 not a life full of worries and uncertainty ahead.

do things within control and power, anything beyond limit and trying be superman often end up sky dive to death.
Thanks bro. I had come to terms with myself to just let things flow on it’s own. I will also stop giving money. Let time show me everything. If she is really someone who is after my heart, letting her go abit should cause her to come back to me. If she is after my money, stop giving her money will make her leave me. And by that time i will know her true motive.

I will put worries and uncertainty behind and enjoy the present. I showed her enough what i can do for her. Now it’s time to let her show me what she really wants. If this turns out to be a successful relationship, i will be grateful. If not, at least i protected myself too.
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