Seeking advices

[Jin2312]

In my late 20s, came here 6 years ago and got into a relationship on my second week here and it ended aft 2 years. Aft that I met a girl from dating app, and the relationship ended aft close to 4 years. After some self reflection and thinking, I realised that 6 years being here, I got no friends at all. I spent all my time with my exes, and colleagues basically all otaku type. At this age I think it’s not easy to know someone new anymore, and I find quite unhealthy to have no social circle. Any advices? Welcome all comments.

[dadbod40]

Wow, you got a new premium account just to seek advice?

Anyway, there's many ways to meet people of the opposite sex. Why don't you try taking up a new hobby? I don't think the challenge is finding ladies, rather is the courage to approach and chat them up.

[Jin2312]

Yes, you’re right. The courage to approach is one of they key. I think I’m quite a shy person, will only takes the extra step when I force myself to. Funny things is I looked back both of my exes were the one took initiative that lead to sex. Both relationship started w sex on first or second date. Sometime it made me wonder in this era everyone started like this? Or probably they were horny and I’m just nice to be there ?

[Brightheart]

Originally Posted by Jin2312

Yes, you’re right. The courage to approach is one of they key. I think I’m quite a shy person, will only takes the extra step when I force myself to. Funny things is I looked back both of my exes were the one took initiative that lead to sex. Both relationship started w sex on first or second date. Sometime it made me wonder in this era everyone started like this? Or probably they were horny and I’m just nice to be there ?

Oh really?

Where are you from?

[LooksLikeJesus]

Originally Posted by Jin2312

In my late 20s, came here 6 years ago and got into a relationship on my second week here and it ended aft 2 years. Aft that I met a girl from dating app, and the relationship ended aft close to 4 years. After some self reflection and thinking, I realised that 6 years being here, I got no friends at all. I spent all my time with my exes, and colleagues basically all otaku type. At this age I think it’s not easy to know someone new anymore, and I find quite unhealthy to have no social circle. Any advices? Welcome all comments.

Are you Singaporean or Foreigner? If you're the latter, might have better chance liaising with your nationality.

If you're the former, unless you're those type with excellent social skills or with money. It's gonna be difficult.

Not all is lost. As long as you havent hit mid 30s. There's still a chance to form friendships. As most people are married by then and have a family to take care of. Caveat, try not to engage in platonic friendship though. And don't expect too much from a friendship from the start. Else, it might leave you bitter and disappointed. Bear in mind, true friends are hard to come by and may not always molly coddle you.

Any relationship needs both parties to contribute and needs time, money, effort to grow. Glad you learnt that romantic relationship is not the only way to have a life. Be well.

[Jin2312]

Thank you for sharing your POV. I’m Malaysian Chinese and both of my exes are singaporean. The funny thing is I feel more comfortable w local here instead

[LooksLikeJesus]

Originally Posted by Jin2312

Thank you for sharing your POV. I’m Malaysian Chinese and both of my exes are singaporean. The funny thing is I feel more comfortable w local here instead

Well, better get good in both of the things I suggested. Most of us are very pragmatic in either or both of these criteria. Since you prefer to deal with us.

I prefer not. Hence consider immigrating.

[SoGoodAh]

Maybe can consider picking up new hobbies. That way, you can meet new people and make new friends.

Take up exercise classes or sports that require more than 1pax.

[sbwow]

Originally Posted by Jin2312

In my late 20s, came here 6 years ago and got into a relationship on my second week here and it ended aft 2 years. Aft that I met a girl from dating app, and the relationship ended aft close to 4 years. After some self reflection and thinking, I realised that 6 years being here, I got no friends at all. I spent all my time with my exes, and colleagues basically all otaku type. At this age I think it’s not easy to know someone new anymore, and I find quite unhealthy to have no social circle. Any advices? Welcome all comments.

I have seen a great deal of people who finds friends for benefits. If they dont get any benefits, they won't be laying around.

Time is very important to a working adult, alot ppl work 6 days a week. Sunday is a family day for some.

Diminishing social circle or completely w/o friends is becoming a norm.
Especially with covid here to stay, and all sorts of entertainment, KTV, clubs, pubs going into non-existence.

What can you do with friends? Besides eating, talk cock, bitching, discussion about news and doing nonsensical activities?

Stop worrying about this shit about having 'No Friends', never know last day might be today and you're worrying about this?

[Xgenre]

Originally Posted by Jin2312

Thank you for sharing your POV. I’m Malaysian Chinese and both of my exes are singaporean. The funny thing is I feel more comfortable w local here instead

It's hard for you to find friends unless you change your mindset. Your friends will know once you find a new gf, you will forget about your friends and focus on your gf only. If you want to change, you have to learn how to multi-task and set aside time for different groups of people in your life.

As a foreigner, it is quite dangerous to only spend time with your gf. Whenever the relationship hits the rocks, you have no one around you to confide in or to provide a neutral opinion. Many girls also don't like their bfs to be superglue and always stick to her whenever he has free time.

[oldwabbit]

You are perfectly fine. It is your monkey mind that tell you otherwise. Relax and enjoy your freedom while you still have it. If someone comes along your way, it is good. If not, so be it. All is well. Live life in quiet celebration, not desperation.

[sbwow]

I recommend TS go to a church, he will find friends there.

Personally, I can't stand Church...
Been there on several occasions when friend asked me to join their events.

Felt like a bunch of ppl giving fake smiling, but they just want you to join their church. Creepy as fk.
I got approached by girls who will ask me to join. They will ask you to join their activities, also ask you how you feel about it.
I don't know is it a sort of targeting strategy used by Church when there's new faces?

Only good is there are free food, lots of young girls to see

[LooksLikeJesus]

Originally Posted by sbwow

I recommend TS go to a church, he will find friends there.

Personally, I can't stand Church...
Been there on several occasions when friend asked me to join their events.

Felt like a bunch of ppl giving fake smiling, but they just want you to join their church. Creepy as fk.
I got approached by girls who will ask me to join. They will ask you to join their activities, also ask you how you feel about it.
I don't know is it a sort of targeting strategy used by Church when there's new faces?

Only good is there are free food, lots of young girls to see

Speaking of this. I remembered back in the 90s when CH was all the rage. Got wrangled by a sec school frd to attend Pastor Kong Kong seminar at the indoor stadium.

After waiting under the hot sun for almost 2 hrs, I decided to go back home. One of this chio bu literally grabbed my bag and refused to let me go. Knn, these people really got brain washed by Pastor Kong Kong.

If OP really wanna attend these Eva Churches, better go in with both eyes open tua tua. I got no qualms if OP really wanted some company.

I also attended central church as well. This one also Eva Church, but less fanatical than CH.

Ultimately, these Eva churches want you to donate 10% of your salary. No money, No god.

Ok, to be fair. CH and some of these Eva churches occasionally will do some charity work. So, everything is up to one's discretion

[sbwow]

Originally Posted by LooksLikeJesus

Speaking of this. I remembered back in the 90s when CH was all the rage. Got wrangled by a sec school frd to attend Pastor Kong Kong seminar at the indoor stadium.

After waiting under the hot sun for almost 2 hrs, I decided to go back home. One of this chio bu literally grabbed my bag and refused to let me go. Knn, these people really got brain washed by Pastor Kong Kong.

If OP really wanna attend these Eva Churches, better go in with both eyes open tua tua. I got no qualms if OP really wanted some company.

I also attended central church as well. This one also Eva Church, but less fanatical than CH.

Ultimately, these Eva churches want you to donate 10% of your salary. No money, No god.

Ok, to be fair. CH and some of these Eva churches occasionally will do some charity work. So, everything is up to one's discretion

Chio Bu refused to let go, possibly wanted to get into Jesus pants. Knew you belong there. Can get any girls you want

[LooksLikeJesus]

Originally Posted by sbwow

Chio Bu refused to let go, possibly wanted to get into Jesus pants. Knew you belong there. Can get any girls you want

Sorry, I prefer $.