A painful decision

[porscheclub]

Well, bros. My time has come. Not too sure if this is a poll, a story or asking for comments. For months, I suffered & tormented for I fell in love with another women. She's all that any men would ever wanted. She's a dozen years younger, talented, good cook, takes care of me tenderly like a nurse, has a kind heart & loves kids. She is beautiful, a gem among the field & an attraction in parties. Most importantly, she loves me dearly. Sex is unbelievable but I've reached a point where it's not the must have and lived without it for more than a year.

I have lived a blessed life. My childhood days were poor, hard, single parent, scorned by classmates, bullied by neighbours & relatives distanced from us for fear of borrowing money from them. I promised myself to be a good father for I had no father love & worked even harder to prove myself. I succeeded & achieved much to have what most men would want in life, houses, fast cars, luxuries, boats & even a pilot license.

Problem is I have a family, a perfect one except that the wife I married wasn't the one I love deeply because when u work hard, there's little time to find love & I even thought of arranged marriage @ one point. And now I can only have one woman for the other wants to marry & give me what I would lose. I'm surprised that I love my children so much, so little time with them yet couldn't bear to leave them for the woman I truly love & the promise that I made since young.

If I choose my family, I'll live a lonely life & carry the love in my heart to my death bed but fulfill fatherhood. Continue my work & have a little commercial sex when the lust sets in.

If I choose my true love. I can be happier, have a new family & still be a weekend father while she promises to love them like hers. She gives me some interesting future but a path of unforseen challenges. I'm prepared to lose half to my family for they deserve it.

I'm favouring my family & my heart cries like water falling into a deep well. My other love uses tears to wash her face. It's painful.

[cablesnwires]

Dear bro porscheclub,

Decisions, decisions.....

I share your grief and sorrows. As much as it is a very complicated decision, the answer is relative simple.

Who do you love more? Your girl or your children? Live your life as it should. You are your own destiny.

If I am you, I choose children anytime. Why? They are the innocent parties and I would not want to drag my problems into the lives of our next generation.

Well, before you say it is easier to say since I AM not the one having this problem, let me say this, I KNOW exactly what you are going through...

The above is based on my personal opinion. Others MMV.

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by porscheclub

Well, bros. My time has come. Not too sure if this is a poll, a story or asking for comments. For months, I suffered & tormented for I fell in love with another women. She's all that any men would ever wanted.

It's all hunky dory now but once you've lived with her for a few years, you'll find they're all the same.

[DTCEPL]

Originally Posted by porscheclub

If I choose my family, I'll live a lonely life & carry the love in my heart to my death bed but fulfill fatherhood. Continue my work & have a little commercial sex when the lust sets in.

If I choose my true love. I can be happier, have a new family & still be a weekend father while she promises to love them like hers. She gives me some interesting future but a path of unforseen challenges. I'm prepared to lose half to my family for they deserve it.

I will choose the family and children, a Man regardless, must take up the responsibilities which he have started, and even if he carrys with 遗憾 / regrets to his grave.....so be it.

[Fishcer]

TS, there is never a right or wrong answer, and even more definite is that you can never get an answer here. Everyone is born different, thinks different, so who can say that he is right/wrong?

There's no way u r gonna decide based on what is written by bros here...in fact if u r really asking bros here to give their opinion, what i can say is that i feel you just want to have pple supporting what u already decide, so that u have a base to justify ur choice, cos u know that there will definitely b 2 split camps, and that u can say "Look, others think the same as me, so that must mean i m not wrong"...

If ur not looking for any answers here, n just posting cos u wanna share, then i apologise...

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Bro PorscheClub, this was the day i remembered we once talked about.
Yes, totally agree, the children will always be the strongest bond.
Even when buddha left his wife and kid to seek enlightenment, it was his kid, Rahoula(means BOND) that made his heart unbearable.....from this, i think we can understand lots liao.

For you marrying someone you dun truely love due to official committments, trust me, i totally understand you my friend, cos we're in the same boat, heck, Y u think i ended up wif 4!
But like it or not, i made a rule that only my legal wife will bear my children, thus the curse that any women that becomes my wife or wives, will have to pay the price of never being able to bear my children...this is also a choice they have to live wif if they decide to be wif me.
Now, i dun quite agree wif your actions totally neither do i totally with all the advises the bros gave you...cos every prob will have a solution.

Yes, she's half your age blah blah.....but if she is willing to be wif you, by virtue that we both think we know who we are, you can always get her here, obtain PR status thru our influences and put her up somewhere on our island on a perm basis. Yes, a full fledged mistress. This is the path to take.

Why suggest this.......you're an eagle! You'll need your hunting flights ever so often to get your fill...thus this is the true you, also, this where your gusto or life force comes from. Clip a wing & you'll be killing yourself.....how long can you take it before you break? Well guess depends on individual.
Have a good think about what i suggest to you my friend, and i'm sure you will come up wif something that's a win win.
Need me, you know how to find me.

Remember, make a choice you wont regret and wont loose out...life is selfish.......but in this scenario, make a choice that all will benefit from it.
If you clip a wing, even your kid will feel you're like a DEAD MAN WALKING!

Take care my friend

[makelove]

bro, you better sit down and think over.
Family is a lifelong commitment.
Your "true love" might just be a one shot, "san fen zhong re du" relationship?

in the end, its your decision. our advice will not help

[technofreak]

Originally Posted by DTCEPL

I will choose the family and children, a Man regardless, must take up the responsibilities which he have started, and even if he carrys with 遗憾 / regrets to his grave.....so be it.

We share the same sentiments indeed...Be a responsible person though. Well, TS...If you really love the woman so much...I suggest you building another nest elsewhere...

[petrolheadsg]

bro...when I read your post, I felt as if it were me writing that albeit many years ago.

Having said that though, I agree with what some bros say ie your circumstances will be unique, there are details that will differ from mine or other bros and our advice may not be the right one for you.

Personally, I have decided that I will stick to the one that loves me most and I will and have grown to love her more each day (my wife). She has supported me through ups and downs, thick and thin, even when I strayed and hurt her.

Am I a saint? Far from it...do I play around, yes but as another brother puts it...after I am done, I only think of home. Sammyboyfor also alludes to this when he says they are all the same after some time (paraphrased). So to me the distinction is that my wife loves me the most and the feeling of loneliness is dispelled the moment this enlightenment came upon me.


If you want to vent or share you can call me out for kopi. But ultimately when you make that decision, it will be made alone.

This is your journey and only you can travel on that road. However, dont make a decision you cannot reverse out of easily...if you can hang on to your GF without sacrificing your marriage, then I suggest that you do so to give yourself some more time to think through your situation.

All the best bro

[bonk88]

Originally Posted by petrolheadsg

Personally, I have decided that I will stick to the one that loves me most and I will and have grown to love her more each day (my wife). She has supported me through ups and downs, thick and thin, even when I strayed and hurt her.

Am I a saint? Far from it...do I play around, yes but as another brother puts it...after I am done, I only think of home. Sammyboyfor also alludes to this when he says they are all the same after some time (paraphrased). So to me the distinction is that my wife loves me the most and the feeling of loneliness is dispelled the moment this enlightenment came upon me.


If you want to vent or share you can call me out for kopi. But ultimately when you make that decision, it will be made alone.

This is your journey and only you can travel on that road. However, dont make a decision you cannot reverse out of easily...if you can hang on to your GF without sacrificing your marriage, then I suggest that you do so to give yourself some more time to think through your situation.

All the best bro

well said bro petrol, i do share the same sentiment with u too.
most important think is : in life what ever decision u make, don't regret and do not turn back too, move forward and life still have to go on bro....that a advice i can share with u....bro ST...

[geckoSG]

Bro, I'm sorry to say this thing to you also. If you really love your children.
Stay with your family. Give them your love and everything.

If your Lover is truthly sincerely in love with you, she will give you the
blessing. If she is able to live as an underground lover to you, then stay
that way, both of you get the love you wanted and still managed to give
the love to your family.

I know this is sort of cruel and selfish, but you think about it. Your family
goes thru thick and thin with you. There's time when squabbling will happen.
That's true family.

In lover situation, you always gives each other the sweets, but when you
stay together for a while, trust me, it will be the same as family. Talk to her,
and see if you could work out something, else, better to split now...

[jojogigi]

give yourself this question. who is really gonna go through thick and thin with you? Very impt. Ur choice will depend whether u die on ur deathbed alone or with someone in your arms. my own opinion. you dictate your life.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Originally Posted by jojogigi

give yourself this question. who is really gonna go through thick and thin with you? Very impt. Ur choice will depend whether u die on ur deathbed alone or with someone in your arms. my own opinion. you dictate your life.

Hey, this sounds very familiar!
我： 你爱我吗？
她： 我不知道。
我： 你爱我吗？
她： 我爱你。
我： 你神经病！！！

[ekemono]

Originally Posted by porscheclub

I promised myself to be a good father...

...If I choose my true love. I can be happier,

Can you tell me what is a good father? Your happiness comes first or your children's happiness comes first?

Did your own children raise both hands in full support of you to end the marriage with their biological mother cos they figure out they can better love the future step mother?
How trusting can you be towards your new found beau when the day comes that she has to discipline your biological children?
Can you guarantee she gives equal treatment towards all the children when the day she bores you a child?
Will all your heart felt problems end and blissful life starts the day you collect the Decree Nisi? Nobody except your wife will feel hurt?

I am not trying to challenge or insult you TS. I am a divorcee myself with a child that seriously lack a complete family and as I read you love your children so much, I made an effort to this queries?

End of the day, its your life, your choice.

[jasdude]

torn btw love and responsibilities ! i am a divorcée too ! love ages and materializes into responsibilities that a couple have to shoulder to each other . especially when kids come into the picture .

A fact is that the woman you now love may not be the woman you can live with like your wife . She maybe the one now but not be the one that will last . Don't be blindsided . like my grandfather said to me before i got divorced . Your wife is only your wife once the coffin has being nailed shut ! Life is unpredictable . A bird in hand is better than the one in the bush .