Married my wife with a son

LeiGuy · #1 17-09-2015, 10:35 AM

Hi Sammybros,

I need some advises but cant bring it up in real life, hope some sammy bros here can shed some light.

1 year ago i married my gf who is currently my wife and she has a 1 yr plus old son (i'm not the biological father of this child). Recently, the bio father appear again and went to court to have his right at custody of the child. Me and my wife loves the child and is prepare to fight for custody. But many obstacles appear rightafter, when my wife give birth to the child, it is the bio father sign the papers, baby's cert bears bio father name, but bio father never provide for mother n son for a year plus until recently. What is his chances at custody n visitation?

Another question, once i married my wife, am i lawfully binded by singapore law to raise and provide for the child which bears bio father's surname?

Next question how can i change the child surname to mine without approval of bio father?

Any sammy bros have similar situation mind to share how you handle it?

Kuan Aik Hong · #2 17-09-2015, 10:42 AM

Bro this is very messy since the bio father is back. If I am you just stay out of the picture . This is between your wife and him . When you marry her be prepare for all these consequences . If I am you just let go the child . Have a baby together with your present wife . Dont go and be a idiot and take care of someone sons. You might sound noble but is not wise.

LeiGuy · #3 17-09-2015, 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kuan Aik Hong

Bro this is very messy since the bio father is back. If I am you just stay out of the picture . This is between your wife and him . When you marry her be prepare for all these consequences . If I am you just let go the child . Have a baby together with your present wife . Dont go and be a idiot and take care of someone sons. You might sound noble but is not wise.

Thanks bro for advise, thats why my 2nd question am i binded by law to raise the child if my wife wins custody. I cant just go and tell her to raise the child herself right? So i want to know am i binded by any law to raise my wife son if she win custody. And if so should i get the son to change his surname otherwise not fair to me right?

Kuan Aik Hong · #4 17-09-2015, 11:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeiGuy

Thanks bro for advise, thats why my 2nd question am i binded by law to raise the child if my wife wins custody. I cant just go and tell her to raise the child herself right? So i want to know am i binded by any law to raise my wife son if she win custody. And if so should i get the son to change his surname otherwise not fair to me right?

Why have to change surname? He is not your biological son . If I am you let the son go back to his dad , you are making a big sacrifice here for not raising up your own son . Trust me it will hinder the relationship with your wife. Dont be too noble nobody will praise you one. Your wife is very selfish too since she remarries should give back the son .........unless her ex husband is a real arsehole ...

LeiGuy · #5 17-09-2015, 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kuan Aik Hong

Why have to change surname? He is not your biological son . If I am you let the son go back to his dad , you are making a big sacrifice here for not raising up your own son . Trust me it will hinder the relationship with your wife. Dont be too noble nobody will praise you one. Your wife is very selfish too since she remarries should give back the son .........unless her ex husband is a real arsehole ...

They never marry, is the bio father walk out on her n child when they were courting, their relationship worsen and she decided to break after she suffered severe violence from the bio father and was hospitalised. Yes the bio father is an arsehole who beat up gf, came home late n drunk almost all nights.

Kuan Aik Hong · #6 17-09-2015, 11:18 AM

Then no choice you got to be the savior!!!!!!Since he is so shit ...Well done and I salute you. Good luck to you too.

ah rat · #7 17-09-2015, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kuan Aik Hong

Why have to change surname? He is not your biological son .

Bro, Ts must consider his wife decision and feeling for her son

newyorker88 · #8 17-09-2015, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeiGuy

They never marry, is the bio father walk out on her n child when they were courting, their relationship worsen and she decided to break after she suffered severe violence from the bio father and was hospitalised. Yes the bio father is an arsehole who beat up gf, came home late n drunk almost all nights.

Bro, if you love your wife, n you are prepared to take the kid as your own. I salute you.

If go to court, chances are that the court may side your wife, if the bio father DID NOT pay for the expenses( not sure on that, only you know). During the hospitalisation, is a police report filed? Hopsital records? These will prove useful in challenging the ex boyfriend. Court see evidence, not arguments in courts, or black face. Stay calm during the process.

Changing the surname? That comes after this court case. Possible to change too... Since you are married to the mother legally, when give birth, the kid name should be under her name, according to law.

Hope more brothers can contribute more to advise.

Andfan · #9 17-09-2015, 11:33 AM

LeiGuy
if u really love the bio son and ur wife to love ur bio i think u try to fight for custody if u wanna to change ur son surname u can go to the court and change it...But 1 more thing if 1 day your son get older if he find out u not is real blood father what will he think about u ?? But i will tell u tat follow your heart if your heart tell u to fight for the child u just do it

Kuan Aik Hong · #10 17-09-2015, 11:38 AM

Just a piece of advice you will be liable for maintenance for the son if one day your marriage burst ....now u might not think so this will happen as you just got marry . I might sound selfish but future is unknown.

maxsee · #11 17-09-2015, 11:44 AM

Wow it is not easy for a guy especially to accept another man's child...*salute you...but make sure the marriage works...coz in the event of a divorce, you will end up paying tons of maintenance for the kid....

BiRd13 · #12 17-09-2015, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeiGuy

Hi Sammybros,

I need some advises but cant bring it up in real life, hope some sammy bros here can shed some light.

1 year ago i married my gf who is currently my wife and she has a 1 yr plus old son (i'm not the biological father of this child). Recently, the bio father appear again and went to court to have his right at custody of the child. Me and my wife loves the child and is prepare to fight for custody. But many obstacles appear rightafter, when my wife give birth to the child, it is the bio father sign the papers, baby's cert bears bio father name, but bio father never provide for mother n son for a year plus until recently. What is his chances at custody n visitation?

Another question, once i married my wife, am i lawfully binded by singapore law to raise and provide for the child which bears bio father's surname?

Next question how can i change the child surname to mine without approval of bio father?

Any sammy bros have similar situation mind to share how you handle it?

Bro. Since you and your wife have married, by law the kids is yours already. Even the Original Father came back and fight for the kids, he will lose the case.

If you really want to change the surname of the child to yours, you can do so. I think need submit some form/particulars to the authority. Can't remember which though. It's known as some kind of 'adoption'. Maybe you can google for such.

LeiGuy · #13 17-09-2015, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andfan

LeiGuy
if u really love the bio son and ur wife to love ur bio i think u try to fight for custody if u wanna to change ur son surname u can go to the court and change it...But 1 more thing if 1 day your son get older if he find out u not is real blood father what will he think about u ?? But i will tell u tat follow your heart if your heart tell u to fight for the child u just do it

The child when old enough i let him decide if he want back his bio surname instead of mine, more or less he stick to us because his bio father is really cmi. We will tell him the truth as well, not wanting him to know about it himself to avoid future misunderstanding.

Kuan Aik Hong · #14 17-09-2015, 11:53 AM

My salute to you ....I will never consider a single mum in the first place. As I will be a resources to her and her kids . Respect you and wish u all d best.

baby hunter · #15 17-09-2015, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeiGuy

They never marry, is the bio father walk out on her n child when they were courting, their relationship worsen and she decided to break after she suffered severe violence from the bio father and was hospitalised. Yes the bio father is an arsehole who beat up gf, came home late n drunk almost all nights.

there're two type of custody, join custody & sole custody. If they're not officially married. it is very high chance that your wife will get the sole custody. (unless your wife wanna give up the right)
even though, the bio father will still have the responsible to provide support to the kid till they're 21 yo.